Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

my boyfriend is really rude to his parents?

he is really rude. he doesnt say please or thanks, he seems very ungreatful for all they have done. he treats his parents totally different to how he treats me, then he wonders why they get angry.

how can i help him see that he is being so rude?

Update:

he is 21 years old. surely he would know better by now!!

23 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Have you ever heard of the saying, how a man treats his mother is how he will treat his wife? He is an adult and is fully aware of the fact that he doesn't give his parents the respect all parents deserve. There are probably issues here that you are not qualified to help him with. I've seen men who have bad relationships with their parents, they normally have bad relationships with the women they are with as well. This is a warning sign for you, just because he treats you nicely now, does in no way mean he will stay this way. You obviously love and respect your parents, you couldn't make it work with someone who doesn't.

  • Maybe he does know he's being rude and he just doesn't care. There could be many reasons for this. Perhaps he has had a very difficult relationship with them and feels they have let him down in some sort of profound way. There may be something about his childhood that caused this. He may not want to talk about it. It could be intensely personal and could be completely understandable if you knew where it was coming from. Try talking to him about it, but if he doesn't want to talk about it there's not much you can do. Don't keep forcing the issue, because he may bet angry at you. I can understand why it would be upsetting for you to witness this behavior, and your lack of understanding why it's happening is understandable, too. Only he knows why he acts this way...and he may never be willing (or able?) to share the "whys" of it all with you. It's possible that he himself does not know why. Perhaps his parents don't see his behavior as "being rude"...maybe they've always allowed him to speak this way to them. It may be a problem to you, but not to them? If I were you, I'd keep right on modelling the behavior you wish to see in others around you, yet understand that even though you do this, it may not change others' behavior. You cannot change how someone else behaves. You can only live your life the way you feel is right, and HOPE that it "rubs off on" others... don't hold your breath, though... it may not work, especially when it concerns adults.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    turn the tables on him.It would be interesting to see how he would feel. When he does things for you, don't say thank you or please, treat him like he treats his parents. If your uncomfortable doing this tell him your going to try something just as an experiment but you won't tell him till it's over. If he figures it out in a short period of time then he is aware of how he is treating his parents. Maybe it is such a habit that the only way he will stop is for someone he really cares about to point it out in this way and than he will understand how rude he is being to his parents. If this doesn't change the behavior, I would say it may only be a matter of time before he treats you that way also.

  • 1 decade ago

    I also agree with the answers stated... If a person can't show their parents respect, then how do you think they could show you respect. At times... Certain parents may not deserve respect because of the way they treat their kids. This is a situation where someone needs to be reported. But disrespect doesn't make it better. Stooping to another persons level is not the right thing to do. Treat people how you would like to be treated... Not how they treat you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your tappin into a lifestyle that this gy obviously has had some serious issues with his parents and has grown insensitive towards them in the process and developed an agressive personality disorder in the process.

    He may be a Sociapath as well.

    This kind of behavior may not stem from his upbringing, but he will have to seriously work on it if he ever wants things better in life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi,

    I know you won't like my answer but if your boyfriend is rude to his parents, never say thanks etc. and you know deep down in your heart that he is wrong behaving this way I would suggest that you end your relationship with him and never look back. The way he is behaving, in my opinion, is the first sign of abuse. He may treat you nice, but let me tell you that if this guy does not treat his parents with respect he won't respect you in the end. Watch for other signs of him being angry at anything, anyone. He might even put blames on everbody but himself when something is going wrong.

    Please leave before you get too deep in this relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm...tough question. I guess it is because I am the proverbial mother. Our daughter treats us very, very disrespectfully. She has no respect for authority whatsoever, and very little self-respect. Our daughter is very affectionate with her boyfriend and bends over backwards for him...until he disagrees with her. We worry over her endlessly, but we still love her. She does have rules and structure, she chooses to be the way she is. My husband and I both think that it is going to take someone she loves deeply to help her realize how she's messing up. The question is this, though: I wouldn't think my daughter was being disrespectful because she didn't seem grateful. It's a matter of how she speaks to us. I would just say to him that it really bothers you to hear him talk that way to his parents. How he responds to that will be a good indicator for things to come between you. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    .. i agree with most of the previous answers, I am sure that your boyfriend loves you, and he loves his parents regarldess of his interactions. Talk to him about it and see why he is so rude? I am sure he wouldnt want you to see him being rude, but u obviously had. How someone acts around other people reveals his/her true personality. He is an adult and he needs to be grateful for his parents that have raised him...what is going to be down the road for you if he is rude to the parents that have nurtured him an loved him? Good Luck...the best thing is to talk to him

    Source(s): me
  • 1 decade ago

    Hey there! I know what it's like to have a spouse/boyfriend being rude to their parents. I would say the best bet is just to tell him that you don't like it in a kind manner and that it is a major turn off to see him speak to his parents in the ways that he does. Tell him if he respects you he would agree to disagree and stop arguing and disrespecting them.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I always say, if a young guy treats his mother good, he will treat you good. If he treats her badly, you can expect the same. It all comes down to having no respect for the parents, for all they have done. They must have spoiled him rotton, cause he sounds like a spoiled little, wet behind the ears, brat...

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