Missy asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How can I overcome verbal abuse?

All throughout my education I was talked down to. And if it wasn't at school even some relatives made me feel small because of their own problems or insecurities. Well, my self-esteem took a great downfall from this and I'm verily afraid of young middle-school aged boys/ junior high. Today when I saw a few of them walking along the sidewalk I kind of froze and started to get nervous. When I got inside the memory of being that age and being put down appeared in my mind, it's like when I was looking at those boys their faces changed, I wasn't hallucinating, just sort of reliving the moment. When I got inside tears started to well up. I want to get out of that moment and build myself up again.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Lesson number one: Anybody who is willing to talk down to you is not looking out for you and is therefore a schmuck. I've been getting talked down to my entire life too, but if anything its made me more stubborn because I know that none of it is true. When ever someone belittles you I want you ask them what short coming of theirs is biting them in the butt right now. and then I want you to forget about what ever they said. They are not worth your time. And its not something you can just do over night, you have to keep reminding yourself that these people are making up for their own short comings by messing with you. One of these days your going to look in the mirror and your going to see someone worth while. It takes time but it is worth the fight. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your punishing yourself.

    You took a moment and it took a hold of how you feel about yourself.

    You need to look at who YOU are and what YOU think.

    When it all comes down to it, your the ONLY one you have. Boys can talk crap and girls and family members, but what you have to remember is, so what?

    You cannot take things to heart just because someone is having a horrible day. Ya, it takes a hold on you and an effect.

    I used to wear this stone, that I believe that if I was around anyone negitive, it would just go right into the stone and bypass me. Thing of it is, is that its all in a mind set.

    If every time you are taken back to that moment just becuase of some dumb boy, you never know what you will do.

    What if you were drowning in a riverside and those boys came to rescue you. Would you think of them the same way?

    Maybe take some steps back and think about what you can do to not just BUILD yourself up, but think of why it impacted your life so much.

    Truth be told, don't CARE about what anyone else thinks. Think about what YOU think and only then will you find a way out.

    Source(s): Read the book..."You are Special" By Max Lucado. Apply it to you.
  • 1 decade ago

    Things like that can get into your head and make even the most harmless situation seem terrifying. You need to realize that not everyone would treat you that way. You know you're worthy of being talked to on an equal level. Don't let other peoples' insecurities become your own. Be proud of who you are, and if someone talks down to you then you know you're better than them in a maturity level, and therefore not worth your worry.

  • Dino
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    First, I'm sorry that those people made you feel that way. Your goal should be to find a way to loosen their continued control on you. You still hear their abuse in your head, and worse, you believe it. Tomorrow you need to call your doctor and have them work you in. Ask your doctor to refer you to a professional counselor or psychologist that is caring and gentle. The two of you need to pull this stuff out and throw the abuses away one by one. Slowly you will learn to accept the awesome person you are. You may never work with middle-schoolers, but you won't have to avoid them in the future.

    Good luck and God bless you!

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  • This happened to me. I was given verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse near enough for the whole time I was at school and it really got my confidence down.

    It all depends on how you look at the situation, are you more successful than the people who bullied you? Think about it, they were hardly likely to become brain surgeons of all they could do was pick on someone. Wouldn't it be great to go up to them and laugh in their faces?

    You could of course have some sorta conditioned phobia of school boys because of that now but it was probably just anxiety cos of what happened to you. Just forget about it, think about how great it'd be to punch them or something.

  • 1 decade ago

    surround yourself with people and things that make u feel good. lifes too short to waste around people who are nothing but negative. do things that u enjoy. also it may be a good idea to get some therapy to deal with your self esteem issues and also a local support group. it can really help to know there are others whoare dealing with the same thing. they can relate to u better than people who have never been there. good luck!

    Source(s): peraonal experience
  • 1 decade ago

    this is the problem with people in Middle/high school

    many people talk **** to eachother

    and honestly i can only think of a couple that are being real.

    they are just joking around and honestly you can joke around right back and talk some **** to them

    they probably think its all in fun and games youll be fine.

    good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Any help you're going to get on here will be useless and Unethical... I suggest seeing a School Counselor.. Or if you're in college A counseling center.. Or a psychologist..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am an emotionally abused person myself, it has taken me years to work this out and over come it, and you really never will. but you have to be a srtong person and pull through it. find that something that make you thrive and go for it! alot of support is good too, i had my boyfriend (now husband) and he was/is amazing with me. yes ive had alot of bad expierences in my life but i am sooo blessed. but anyway, i hoped this helped.

  • bev
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    WE ALL HAVE THE SAME LIFE IN AMERICA, BE GLAD YOU ARE NOT IN THE CHICAGO AREA THAT I HAD TO ENDURE. WE FOUGHT OUR WAYS TO SCHOOL IN THE RACE HATE OF THE BLACK & WHITE PROBLEMS THAT HAD ALL OF US TRIGGERED TO A HOPELESS SITUATION, THE BEST TO YOU LOVE YOUR INSIGHTS OF UNDERSTANDING ALL THAT IS AROUND YOU AND I'M HERE: TO SAY, I'M PUSHING U UP FOR BEING, IN THE CONTROLLING ATMOSPHERE THAT CAUSE SUCH AN AVIODABLE HEARTACHES IN LIFE, KEEP TRYING TO MOVE ON AND STAY STRONG

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