Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Can a marriage work when one spouse wants children and the other one doesn’t?

My friend married her husband 2 years ago after dating only 6 months. When they married she was on the fence about having children and he had always wanted to be a father. She recently got pregnant and it was 100% unplanned. She was VERY upset and did not want to have the baby. She just miscarried naturally when the baby was at 2 months and is sad for her husband, but happy in a way because she never wanted to be a mom.

He is hoping she will accidentally get pregnant again or change her mind. She is 100% sure she will never want to have children and it’s even very happy being married to him. He says he wants to have a baby within 5 years and won’t accept that he won’t ever be a dad.

Can a marriage work when one spouse wants children and the other one doesn’t? Is divorce inevitable in a situation like this?

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    in my opinion....No it wont work. either one will be resentful of the other with it going either way. if she is so sure she should go get her self fixed. and he needs to move on if he cant accept that she never wants any. it can and will tear a marriage apart. she may even resent the kid if she does have one. let the miscarriage be a sign. good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    My friend is in a similar situation. They have been together for 6 years and she always wanted children while he seemed to come up with all sorts of excuses. It is the main reason that their marriage if going down the hill now. I don't know how it will end, but I am certain that it's the deal breaker for my friend. No marriage can work if they have different ideas about what they want out of life. In the situation that you described - I hope that he is mature enough not to trick his wife into getting pregnant, because no one should force anyone into something they don't want. If he does then they will have to face other issues - for example, violation of trust.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all I don't beleive there can ever be an "unplanned" pregnancy. Making a choice to have sex is to also make a choice to take responsilbity for ALL of the consequences that can come along with the choice to have sex, even if there is birth control, if a woman is on the pill then she should also be aware that it is NOT 100% effective. I see no hope for this couple being married...they SHOULD have had ALL of this ironed out BEFORE they got married, if she couldn't make a decision then she should NOT have gotten married...she basically got married under false pretenses...as did he.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a good example of why pre-marital counseling is an EXCELLENT idea.

    The marriage can work - and if GOD wants them to have children, they will (in spite of any birth control she uses, other than complete abstinence or having a hysterectomy), but it's not likely to be a very happy marriage unless one of them is willing to accept the other's decision about children in their lives.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would say yes, it's inevitable, unless he can change her mind, but that probably won't happen, and he shouldn't waste alot of years trying! I'm sorry for your friends that they are in this situation and I hope it works out for them, but better now that they dissolve this situation before another unplanned pregnancy happens and some child has to suffer.

  • 1 decade ago

    NO NO NO NO.

    I have NEVER EVER EVER seen a case where it did. It might take 10 years, but they will ruin their marriage over this.

    She is better off letting him go have a family with a woman who wants one.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes...it won't work. children are a big part in a marriage. Her husband will never be content in that marriage without children...

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, divorce is inevitable. It's not a matter of IF, but of WHEN.

  • 1 decade ago

    of course not tell her to dump that no good nothing

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    In a word....NO

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.