Should I stay or should I go?

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. I'm leaving for the army in June, and ever since I decided, we've been fighting a lot because she is scared and upset about this. I love her, and when I think about the good things of our relationship, I can't wait to see her. Yet, recently I mostly just see the bad, and how we make each other feel like dirt sometimes. I do love her, but I have my doubts about things working for sure. She wants a 100% gaurantee from me that I will make things work no matter what. She says I'm just afraid of failure, and I just want a way to feel better if things don't work. She also feels like we're bound for failure if this is the case. Lastly, she is worried I that when it gets hard I'll just bow out, because I've spoken about breaking up before since we've been fighting so much. I'm worried she may be right. I do have a certain fear of failure. I love her, but I can't seem to commit 100%. Theres always this nagging in the back of my head.

Update:

Do I just give her that gaurantee, and try to work out my problems at the same time? Or do I need time alone (she says she can't do this anymore if I end things for a while)? Or do I just end things all together? Or what? Please share your wisdom and experience. Thank you.

I feel like there is something I'm missing. Some epiphany that is right out of my reach. Maybe I'm not looking at things from her side enough. I don't know.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just the fact you are having doubts about being with her..then why waste your time with someone you really don't believe it will work with in the long run! And I know people do it, but honestly I think it will be hard long distance, and I don;t think you have a fear of faliure..I think she is just using that as a way to secure your guys' relationship trying to guilt you to stay with her. Go with your instinct, and follow your heart. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. But also don't let her go unless you are forsure because sometimes you won't get that person back!

    Source(s): experience
  • 1 decade ago

    The thing you are missing is happiness. People can love each other, and not be in love. The difference between the two comes w/ age and wisdom. If recently you see more of the bad, those are the parts of her coming through that you can't live with. Loving = long-term friendship and care for each other. In love = committed relationship, the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

    You need to leave. The poison has entered your relationship, and the time has come to end it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My Father was a military career Officer in the Air Force. He had lots of girlfriends..he was very handsome...and was even living with this woman, in Texas, when he met my Mom in Minnesota one weekend flying. They were married 4 months later, 60 years ago, and he never had a doubt.

    If she's the one...you'd have already married her. That's my opinion, anyway. My Dad cautioned us to not date too long.? I get it now, even though at the time I didn't. Don't worry!

    This may be the only way you move one to meet the woman you're going to run to commit to. Being in love is not enough, I'm afraid.

    Thank you for serving our great country!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Guarantee or not, things will happen beyond your control. You'll know what is the right thing to do is when the time comes. I know this wasn't much help, listen to your heart. Good Luck to you for choosing such a noble career. You appear to have your priorities in order and that's half the battle right there. Stay safe.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well if you are leaving you will know that someone is waiting for you to return, but also, you know that you are not going to be around, and anything is possible. think about it, if your young then there is so much more out there. its up to you to decide what you want to do. of course if you break it off then you will miss her and the good times, the bad just gets worse, unless you fix it. Think about it for a while.

  • 1 decade ago

    lol man screw it its not worth the damn mind games they play...there are other girls out there go find a good one that wants to have fu instead of riculing you!!

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