My guy needs his space?
The guy I'm seeing is being very distant with me and cold. He doesn't call on his own. If I need something, he'll be there and if I call, he'll answer and talk for a few minutes but nothing like before when we first met. I figure we're in a bad stage of the relationship. Anyway, he works 2 jobs and I never get to have conversations about the relationship with him. He's always working or sleeping. Well on Valentines day, we went out and he didn't even call me the next day or the next day to say anything about it. I told him I needed to talk to him pronto. He didn't make the time to call so I called him Sunday morning and he was sleep. He was SO mad because I know he always sleeps in on Sun. but I was SO mad he hadn't called in 3 days. He told me that he was really mad that I woke him and he needs his space. We still have never talked about my issue. How long do I wait to find out if he really wants to break up. I'm brokenhearted and I love him dearly.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Give him some space. One things for sure, if he needs space right now, chasing after him will only make the situation worse. I would write him a letter about how you feel, and the next time you guys hang out, give it to him. I would not call him. I would wait for him to call you--even if it is 2 weeks. Sometimes things happen in peoples lives and it IS actually as simple as "needing space." Something could be going on at work or with his fam, and he just wants to deal with it on his own terms, by himself. Doesnt mean he doesnt love you.
But if it's space he needs, and you love him that much, a realtionship is a 2 way street, so you may have to sacrifice seeing him far a while till he gets his head on square. As long as you didnt do anything to him to make him upset with you, i think everything should be fine (and if you did, still give him his space. Time heals all wounds.)
Just give him space--DONT CALL HIM! Let him call you--even if it takes a while. I know it will seem like forever, but making him upset by smothering him will make it TEN times worse. Make him start to miss you a little bit.
Hope that helps,
Let us know what happens!Source(s): Millions of chaotic relationships,
- 1 decade ago
If I were you I would try talking to him a.s.a.p. You have a right to know what is going on and your man sounds like he needs to grow up and stop acting like a baby. I mean seriously it sounds like you could do a lot better than him in my opinion. But if he doesn't want to break up and you still want to be with him then you need to let him know that things need to change and fast. You should not let any guy treat you like that. I mean for now give him some space but like I said I would talk to him and do it soon so you will at least know what is going on between the two of you. I mean maybe he's not ready for the commitment the two of you have or something. I don't know for sure cause I am not him and that is why in the end you need to talk to him and get the facts. In the end at least you will know the truth and can move on if need be. Just know that you are worth something and never let any man no matter who they are make you feel bad. Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
I dated a guy like this... sounds like he has a lot of things in his life that are more important than you are right now... and it seems like he is a little self absorbed. If you are showing him that you have concern and he is not recognizing it, you should give him more than enough space than he wants. Don't let how he was in the beginning define who he is... the new guy that you are seeing is probably more of who he really is. Think do yourself... do you always want to be competing for his attention?
- heyroboLv 61 decade ago
Wow, you've got problems. When guys distance themselves like your guy has, it usually means he is either in another relationship or he doesn't want to be in the one with you. Some guys just have the guts to break up properly so they do it this way. Of course, I could be wrong, but I doubt it. I hope I'm wrong, but if I'm correct, I'm really sorry. You just need to confront him directly and tell him to be honest with you--maybe he'll grow up and tell you.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
okay well...he's not showing that glow. i mean that by... my quote is
"love is when you feel so appreciated and important on the inside that you glow on the outside."
do you feel that glow with him. to me it looks like you don't. If he hasn't shown how he loves you and that he really cares, i mean i understand he has to work but you have to sit him down and tell him how you feel. I feel that when you say, he took you out on valentines day but if he didn't call you to talk about then you are in a weak relationship. You are showing your love, he isn't and he needs to. You are trying to feed in on the relationship and keep it going. He is depending on you to do that. But he doesn't care. He took you out so that you have an (at least.) you know? when i say that, i mean that you feel bad that he hasn't called or anything. But you say... at least he took me out....right? No not right he didn't call you to talk about it. he didn't take the time to make you feel good and clal you and tell you that he thought you looked beautiful. Tell him how you feel. Maybe he'll; understand if not then that just goes to show that he doesn't really care. Good luck and best wishes!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well if your just seeing him how come break up didn't think you'll were bf/gf, but I would move on and forget his rude self. He shouldn't talk to a girl like that. And next time just ignore him and move on. You deserve better. And I hope you find someone who will treat you go.
- 1 decade ago
my boyfriend does the same [s]hit but then again i been with him 1 yr and 4 months so yea. its all up to you. if you really think hes worth it wait a while and hell come around. if not just move on. im sure theres tons of other guys for you.
- 1 decade ago
I'm sorry to hear that your involved with someone who is so self absorbed and doesn't seem to care about your feelings. Thank God your not married to this guy! My ex-wife to be of 16 years acted very distant in some ways the same always telling me she needed her space. Everything came first but our marrage and me. Now she lives in a different state and has all the space she wants. I now am able to see that the day she left me, she did me the biggest favor of my life and let me go so that I can be with someone who wants to be with me and wants me. I am a lot happyer than I have been in years. We still get a long but I will never go back to living with her or living with someone like that.
I don't want to sound could but this guy is not your friend and should no long be your boyfriend, you deserve far better treatment than this from someone special in your life. Friends do not treat friends like this. I would tell him that you have decieded to give him all the space he needs. Stop calling, e-mailing, texting, and making any contact with him, if he comes around I would keep a friendship there if your able to do it with out getting emotionally involved, but move on. Someone eariler hit it right on the head. There is a ver good chance that he has someone else on the side and is trying to get rid of you. My ex-wife to be did not cheat on me with someone else, but they way she treated me she might has well been. She is a work aholic and was working late to avoid me and our life together. Someone deserve so much better; someone who will treat you like the special person that you. Believe me he will come along. As long as your boyfriend; who is playing with your emotions and your heart you will never find this person who is going to make you a lot happier than you are now.
Your life is going to get alot better once you put him behind you. You don't want to spend the rest of you life with someone that is going to make you feel like you don't deserve to be with them or that your not special. You should not have to beg for someone to love you. I know excactly how that feels being that I spent the majority of my marriage this way. You deserve so much better.
I wish you the best. Remember everything happens for a reason. Your current boyfriend is a stepping stone for you to find that special person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone like this do you?
On that note; I want to say one last thing. Before you ever think of getting married to whom ever it is, live with them for 1-2 years. I know that is goes against most religous values however, It is the only way you will be able to see what he is like and what he will be able to see what your like with out experamenting only to find out you married the wrong type of person for you. I wish I would have done that before. I did what I just told you to do, I would not have spent 16 years of my life with the wrong type of person for me. By the way, Im not bitter towards her. I just wish I didn't waste so many years of my life beeing so unhappy back then.Source(s): my life experiances. a failed marriage of 16 years
- Slim ShadyLv 51 decade ago
He wants out and basically..... YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! So got get what you deserve. This has absolutely nothing to do with space. This guy is blatantly ignoring you. He wants out but is not man enough to come clean. Save yourself.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well, it sounds like he wants to break up but he doesn't want to do it. He's giving you the signs in hope that you will break up with him. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you.Source(s): I've done it before and it works!