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What is the best ever quote from The Simpsons ?

For me it was Ned Flanders in the bath, Homer is asking him to babysit Maggie.

Flanders "Hi neighbour. Have you come for a viewin' of my shampooin'?"

173 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ralph Wiggum - "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

  • 1 decade ago

    There are almost too many to mention... (though sadly not so much from the last few seasons)...

    Chief Wiggum is an endless source of fun, such as:

    "Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit."

    This one is a classic - he is watching something on TV at the station when the phone rings:

    "Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1..... 2. "

    Or then there is the immortal line:

    "Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!"

    I also love some of the things they get celebrities to do:

    Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."

    Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

    Leonard Nimoy: Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

  • 1 decade ago

    Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Ham?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Pork chops?

    Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

    Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.


    Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!

    Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!

    Homer: Explain how!

    Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

    Homer: Woo-hoo!


    Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.

    Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.

    Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up.


    Lisa: I'm an ugmo.

    Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.

    Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.

    Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?

    Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.

    Homer: There. See?

  • 1 decade ago

    There are wayyy too many, but here's my top 10, in no particular order:

    Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.

    Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?

    Homer: Yeah, but faster!

    Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

    Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

    [Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]

    Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.

    Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.

    Homer: D'oh.

    Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?

    Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?

    Lisa: This conversation is over.

    Homer: This conversation is *under*.

    Lisa: Goodbye.

    Homer: *bad*bye

    Marge: [on radio] Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over.

    Chief Wiggum: Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit.

    Homer: I think I'll make myself Vice President. No wait- JUNIOR Vice President.

    Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?

    Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

    (Homer is yelling at Bart for shoplifting)

    Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. *Makes sound effects and laughs.* Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze!

    Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder, now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

  • 1 decade ago

    I have a Simpsons Book downstairs with millions of funny quotes but I can't be bothered to go get it.

    My favourite episode with many funny quotes was when Homer had a pet lobster called Pinchy and he ends up eating it at the end.

  • 1 decade ago

    *Homer stealing baseball tickets from Flanders*

    Marge: "Homer! Were you about to bash Ned Flanders' head in with that lead pipe?

    Homer: "Yu... Noooooo!"

    *Marge reading the instructions of Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test"

    Marge: "If the water turns blue a baby for you. If purple ye see, no baby thaaarr be"

    Homer: "well what colour is it!?"

    Marge: "Pink!"

    Homer: "D'oh!"

    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"


  • 1 decade ago

    I read all of these not to repeat an answer.

    Alot of these are great but I remember

    Homer's brain: Lisa simpson has won the nobel prize

    Homer: nah!

    Homer's Brain: Lisa simpson has won the nobel prize for kick boxing

    Homer: hmmmm

    2) Someone partly mentioned it

    A person looking simular to homer enters

    Moe: Get out of here, homer

    Homer look alike: Homer, I dont know no homer

    Moe kick's him out

    homer passing moe's

    Homer: huuuu? a lookalike must be a sign

    3) Marge: This is the worst thing you ever did

    Homer: You said that so many times it's lost all meaning

    person asking hoer his name

    what's your name

    Homer: homer simp. max power

    and many more

    when they try and mace homer and he runds around and tree falls and he says woohoo and throws a chain and hits a bird and everything falls!


  • Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Ham?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Pork chops?

    Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.

    Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

  • 1 decade ago

    So many to choose from but I have 2 favourites. Homer wins a number of prizes at his high school reunion including "most hair loss", "least distance travelled to get here" and "most improved odour" On winning the prize for "most weight gained" he is asked "how did you do it Homer?" to which he replies "I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch"

    Also in the episode "Saturdays of Thunder". Homer reads a childrearing book in order to improve his relationship with Bart.

    Homer: [reading] Cosby's First Law of Inter-generational Perversity:

    No matter what you tell your child to do, he will always do the

    opposite. Huh?

    [inner voice] Don't you get it!? You gotta use reverse psychology!

    [out loud] Well, that sounds too complicated.

    [inner voice] Okay, don't use reverse psychology.

    [out loud] All right, I will!

    Utter brilliance!

  • 1 decade ago

    Marge to Homer "Homer we promised to consult each other before making any extravagent purchases" after Homer has just spent $125 on some trainers.

    Homer to Marge "But Marge, you spent all that money on those smoke alarms and we haven't had a single fire yet!!"

    Lol, I watched that like just 5 minutes ago.....

    Source(s): Sky 1: 7pm
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    When Bart is supposed to be stuck down a well and they're digging down with Homer leading but they've dug too deep so Homer says "Dig up". Thought that was a good one.

    Simpsons is classic, too many quote's that are brill to list.

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