My husband moved out 2 months ago with his mom and dad?
He talks to my daughter who is 13 his step daughter who he has been with since she was 2 years old. Tells her he has been thinking about coming back home, but tells me he hasnt. Tells her he cares about me but cant come home because its not that easy. and tells me we are just friends. I'm so lost....Help
8 years 9 years in July and have 2 children of our own together...
- Yvette B yvettebLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
WHAT? he left, has his mommy doing his cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc and LEFT you with the kids... and you dont know what to do?
thats ABANDONMENT, doesnt matter why he left.
isnt it obvious? he's not coming back. he just doesnt have the balls to tell you or finalize it. he also has it too good with mommy.
tell him that he go to counseling with you or your going to file for child support and a legal separation (if you have LS in your state). if he still does nothing, you will see where his loyalty is... to himself. hes made his decision, he just doesnt have the nadds to tell you, thats all.
some links; just click on your state and find what you need. some of these are very helpful.
CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR:
FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
FIND YOUR STATE REPS
CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
SINGLE PARENT & WOMEN INFO
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I really think that you two should get together and do some serious talk with each other. If you want to get back with your husband then you need to tell him. It seems like he still loves you and cares for you, but maybe he hurt too, to even face you to let you know that he was wrong himself. Maybe it is easy for him to come home, he is only making it harder than what it really is.
Don't let the little arguments tear both you and him apart. There's still something there. So, if you are totally in love with him, call him and arrange to see him. Apologize to him, he may apologize to you too. Do what you can to get him back and do what you can to repair the marriage. Your daughter needs the both of you. Don't let your daughter suffer because of what you two have done. Kids have feelings too.
Also, consider reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".
Btw, how long have you two been married?
- 1 decade ago
wow, I had the exact same thing happen. my daughter was 2 when we got together and i think maybe 10 when we split up and he did the dame thing to her. he kept telling her that we were going to be a family again and that he loved us. just kept her hopes up all the time. he even set a date to take me out one night and we were at my moms and we waited and he never showed up. through the years he just quit calling her and seeing her. It just really messed her up as she thought of him as her "dad" he was all she ever knew. . Maybe you need to confront him and tell him not to do that to her. to tell her something so different than he is telling you. If this is not real what he is telling her then it will do to her what it did to may daughter who is now 28 and never trusted a man and very hard times in relationships. hope the best for you and your child.
- 1 decade ago
It sounds like he is just telling the kids what they want to hear. He is taking the cowards way out. He doesn't have the backbone to tell the children the truth and in turn you are the one left to answer all their questions. You need to tell him to own up to his decision and face the children. It is not fair to them, they deserve the truth from him. By him making it sound to them like he is the victim (he wants to but he can't, he would but it's not easy) is making it sound like it this is all your fault. Tell him to stop talking in circles and if he is truly thinking of moving back (if you still want him to) then he is to do it now so that you can put your family's life back together, if not then you do not have a revolving front door and the option is gone to him. That is not fair to you or the children, but make him face the consequences to his decision.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Wiser1Lv 61 decade ago
It sounds as if he doesn't want your daughter upset so he tells her he might come home. But he tells you the truth. Why do you want a guy like this back? If he doesn't love you, you should not want him back. What if he comes back just for the convenience. Do you still want him? Have some pride. Make a new life without this guy who is jerking you around.
- 1 decade ago
He shouldn't be talking to your daughter about that sort of stuff. He needs to talk to you about it. Tell him that is between the two of you and that's fine to have a relationship with your daughter but not to involve her in adult matters. Ask him how he feels and if he wants you back. If he doesn't then it is best to move on before you waste your life waiting for a man who doesn't want you back.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
tell your daughter the reason why her stepfather moved out,she is old enough to understand you. seeing that he tells her he has been thinking about coming back home and he tells you that he hasn't told her that,then he tells your daughter that he cares about you but he can't come home because it's not that easy,then he tells you that him and you are just friends!. girl he is playing head games with your daughter and with you,divorce him and go on with your life.Source(s): my ex tried to do the same but we didn't have kids together,he had two from his first marriage and i loved those kids like they were my own.
- smilingtalker_auLv 41 decade ago
Whatever you do don't play any games using your children. He might but you shouldn't. I assume he told you why he left, if not find out and maybe you can start working on solutions to whatever's wrong. I would not talk to daughters about this and when you talk to him tell him the same thing, he is not to discuss your marriage with the girls.
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
He still loves you. He never learned "How to tell you he loves you." He never learned "How to show you he loves you."
He doesn't want to admit his mistake about going back to his mommies house. He wants you to make the move and ask him to come back. Don't do it, cuz then you become his mommy.
Wait him out until he speaks out of his mouth, out of his will, out of his choice, and tells you He still loves you and needs to be with you.
Try a marriage conference. He just has to learn "how to love his wife". family life puts together a great show to go to. It's allot of fun, laughter, excitement! It's not a fat old boring man asking ya'll a whole bunch of questions.
It's done in a public auditorium and everybody listens to the same thing at the same time and it will change your lives.Source(s): www.familylife.com click on marriage conference. theres one in your area.
- 1 decade ago
Ask yourself why did he leave to begin with? What ahppened... is he using your daughter as a pawn to make you fel like a failure.. to boost his own ego.. when cornered an animall will bite..he may be playing mind games.. Tell him to stop talking to her about you two.. she isn't old enough to understand.. 13.. ha ha.. he needs to be talking to u not her.. if he won't stop then block him.. from then on u call him.. take back ur life.. make him talk to u or just walk away..Source(s): self experience.. u want to believe whats easy.. it hard to see the truth.. especailly when it hurts..good luck
- 1 decade ago
You need to make him stop saying stuff like that to the girl b/c he is getting her hopes up and that is terrible. He may be trying to make you look like the bad person here and that isn't right. You may have to monitor his calls with your daughter or have him not call at all. He sounds like he is bi-polar and he needs help. You are also getting jerked around and that isn't fair to you either. Sorry to hear he is being a jerk and I hope you situation gets better.