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How do i make it up to a girl that I hurt a lot and who doesn't even want me to speak to her?

29 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First off, is she valid in her being hurt? If yes, then you know what you did, would you do it again? If yes, then leave her alone. If the answer is a genuine no, then send her flowers with an apology card. Nothing softens the blows like flowers. However, if that doesn't work, respect her and move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    Depending on when the offense was committed, you may just want to give her a chance to heal. Maybe in a few weeks, you can send her a letter/email apologizing for your actions that hurt her. If there is a logic to whatever caused you to hurt her, try to explain yourself. BUT DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. If you were wrong, make it clear that you acknowledge that. If the situation just occurred, she probably will not be willing to accept an apology from you right now. Especially if she doesn't even wann speak to you. I'm sure she will be much more receptive. You don't wanna come across as though you are being pushy. Remember, SHE's the hurt party and right now, you just want to make HER happy. If it makes her happy to not speak to you right now, do that. Even if she accepts your apology, she still may not want to speak to you, but at least you tried your best to make it right. Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Then do not speak to her. Use the language of flowers and it is going to be expensive.

    First go get book on language of flowers and figure out which ones say I am sorry I was wrong. send a note AND a color copy of the pages from the book along with those flowers to where she works or lives if she goes to school.

    Then once a week send her a red rose and a note saying that you hope she is well and happy.

    In a while anywhere from a month to a year she will get over it. but it will take just as long to heal as it did to get hurt. She may let you back in to her life before she is fully healed but you need to show quietly three times a day you love her.

    ACTIONS NOT WORDS.

  • 1 decade ago

    You probably need to tell us what you did, so we can understand the severity of the issue.

    If it was REALLY REALLY bad then... if you really want to win her back, you need to do something over the top. Send her flowers like every day for an entire month and always appologize and be friendly when you see her.

    If it wasn't that drastic than just give her time and space. Be friendly, but time heals all wounds, so she will be much more likely to forgive you in a week than today, and in a month than in a week. If its a romantic interest though, you definately need to go for the "over the top" idea rather than just waiting it out. Otherwise while with time you may be friends again you may have burned the romantic bridge forever.

  • Own up to your mistake. Admit that it was all your fault. Flowers will probably be spurned, but you could email her or call her. If you call her, just tell her that it was all your fault and that you understand if she never wants to speak with you again. Then send her a written note too, with a card inside expressing how you really feel. If she does not understand, then perhaps she needs space for a while to think it through. Give it to her, without contacting her. She will stop being upset in time, and then you can try to speak with her then.

  • 1 decade ago

    You don't worry about making it up, the first priority is to speak to her....and paradoxically the best way to go about that (as others said) is to leave her alone and give her space. Write a detailed note or email about how sorry you are and how much you messed up and tell her in the note that you understand why she won't take you back but you hope she will and to call you if she needs anything. Then leave it at that.

  • Mizz G
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    depends what you did and what the problem is. but in any case, most of the time girls just want a sincere apology. that means the kind of "i'm sorry, please forgive me" without any further justifications. whatever happens, don't say anything else. period. repeat if necessary.

    don't be afraid of getting on the verge of tears before her if it's necessary... it tells the girl that you're really sorry and it'll disturb her.

    then when she finally wants to talk to you, sort out how things can be done differently in the future, then stick to your promise. girls don't like to be lied to.

    but then again this answer is based on positive assumptions. when i broke up with my ex, he's done really bad things to me and i knew that if i keep letting him see me it could only do harm to both of us so i locked him out and called the police. i wouldn't have done it unless it was the last resort but i tried to break up with him nicely but he wouldn't go; i tried to be mean to him but it only consumed me and showed what ugly character i have. he's broken into my house without permission, assaulted me, and made implicit threats. i didn't--still don't want to ever see him again, and there's nothing he can do about it.

    so again, how reconcileable you are with that girl will depend on what you did to hurt her and if she thinks you have a chance. if you're serious about changing, don't let her current perception stop you--just go to her face, get down on your knees and apologise. she'll give you clues what to do next as long as you relinquish all defenses.

  • If she do not like you or she has got a problem with you the first move to do is to tell her sorry if you do something to her.If your sorry be accepted its good or try to give her many presents the best way for i think its to write her letters as a secret fan.The girl is will be very suprice when she is got a secret swain.I am for with these letters is will forget you.Next tell her for you are her swain.(Try it.)

  • Simply let her know that you regret what ever you did to upset her, assuming you did, or that you regret that you had to do it. BE HONEST! Let her know that you understand if this is the way it has to be, but you'll always be there for her if she changes her mind.

  • depends on how you hurt her.....if you are sincere about it just beg to her...show her your dedicated to her enough to beg and show her your willing to reduce yourself to a sack of **** and rididcule yourself for her...but dont try and talk to her anytime you happend to see her...its to stalkerish..hm..maybe..a billboard? ...yes alot of money but may be worth it if you like her alot

    ♥♥♥

    but what do i know...im a romantically hopeless 13 yr old ♥♥♥

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