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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

can you get past the images of a cheating spouse?

we are working things out but im haunted by the images of her with that guy she messed up and knows it i want to work it out but the images of her enjoying someoneelse is driving me crazy how has someone in this situation got over it

can someone help please

27 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    well yes you can. I couldn't when he cheated, at the time I didn't want to,so I left. But after 10 years of growing up, I realize when an affair happens, man or woman, it is due to other reasons usually, not that they don't love you. I really believe people cheat cause there is something missing for them. Most people don't want to tell their partner" hey I love ya but there is something missing for me here" maybe for fear of hurting the other. Most of the time an affair is just filling a need, your partner could help with if you just opened up about it. So if you can talk about why she did it, you can focus on filling that void for her. Talk honestly, with an open mind,be strong don't let her feelings hurt yours.When people have been together awhile, or you feel like you are getting old, sometimes you just want to know you are attractive to others, and some just take it too far.

    So yes you can get past this, but you have to put it behind you and really look at this as a new start.

  • 1 decade ago

    Thats right Maureen B. The marriage is pointless from here onwards, its merely plaster over the cracks. It will eventually fall apart, because the images haunt you daily. Say you guys are intimate one night, and all of the sudden you have a flashback. How now? A cheat is a cheat, divine intervention is needed to rescue them. They cant help,for all those neurotransmitters in their running haywire in their bodies.They sick,lonely,desperate and absolutley spineless little skunks. You head in the opposite direction towhere the cheat is coming. from. Their values and morals are lower than snake S**t. Walk away, pray. Keep walking

    and keep on praying

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes. My husband cheated on me and I thought I would never stay in a marriage if my husband cheated on me. But, we have kids and he said it was a one time thing, we went to counseling and he did a lot to make our relationship better. It took me a long time to totally trust him. Images of him cheating, while I just don't go there. Why torture myself for something he did? We are very honest with each other when it comes to our feelings, if I am feeling insecure or not trusting him in a certain situation then we do what needs to be done to eliminate that.

    My husband cheated on me, 5 years ago, I will never forget that he did it, but I certainly don't try and remind myself either. He changed for the better after that situation and counseling. We celebrate 10 years of marriage this year.

    Do you want to stay married? If so, you both have to work on your relationship.

    Have you forgiven your partner? If so, then stop dwelling on the past and her past mistakes. Stop driving yourself crazy!

    good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am single and might not be experienced at this. But i mite share what i read and kno so far. Have you forgiven her? Nowaday philosophy " 4give but never 4get." If you have forgiven, you would not hold her cheating on you against her. The relationship tends to be unstable becos of a lack of trust. Deep down in you hopes that your spouse would be very sorry enough and try to make it up to you. You cant seem to block the images away. Its like your heart seems to be still beating but never the same. Im not encouragin a divorce. For the Lord teaches that we should try to make it work. You just have to try harder. We might live in a very sinful world, but love is our redeeming virtue. You ought to love again.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    I stuck by my boyfriend although he cheated on me. I never asked for the details of the affair, so the only images I had are the ones I created on my own. I like to imagine that it wasn't great for him although I will never know the truth. But when I do think about the two of them together, I just try to think about something else. It's hard to do, but I try to focus on the positives about him and our relationship. It is true though, I will never forget what he did although I have chosen to forgive him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Cheating is the worst form of dishonesty,disrespect,disloyalty that you can bring into a marriage.You may never get the image out of your head.Trust is everything in a relationship/marriage without trust you have nothing.If you cannot forget about your wife and her affair no matter what you do you will never beable to trust her and your marriage is pointless.Good luck to you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That is a hard one maybe impossible for a man, from a man’s point of view. Something about the image of another dude touching, your S/O rather boils your blood. I guess women feel the same way but at the sometime it seems to me women are more forgiving. IMO

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I used to say I couldnt but you never know until your put in the situation. I could forgive my husband for cheating on me, while we were on our break. I cant get over it if he pretended everything was ok and the was cheating. I guess it depends on how much you want to make it work and how much you love them.

    I wish you luck and hope you can work through this

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes you can get over it.I have been through the same thing the first time my husband cheated I was very hurt I thought the same things you are rite now,but once you accept that it is just sex and no love in the act you just get over it.She loves you but just wants to feel good more than you want to.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's hard. You are just going to have to take it one day at a time.

    Once you give your heart to someone and they do that then everything you felt about them is gone. You have to try to do something to try to keep this thought from your mind. Why don't you two start doing more things together which would may help to resparkle the relationship.

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