急★請幫我翻譯兩篇故事

★Rading [1] One day a man went to see his doctor and said to him, ''I've swallowed a horse,doctor,and I feel very sick.'' The doctor thought for a few seconds and then said, ''All right,Mr. Lin, I'll help you. Please lie down on this bed.'' The doctor's nurse gave the man an infection, the man went to sleep, and... show more ★Rading [1]

One day a man went to see his doctor and said to him,
''I've swallowed a horse,doctor,and I feel very sick.''
The doctor thought for a few seconds and then said,
''All right,Mr. Lin, I'll help you. Please lie down on this bed.''
The doctor's nurse gave the man an infection,
the man went to sleep,
and the doctor went out quickly to look for a horse in the town.
After half an hour ha found one horse,
borrowed it and took it into his office,
so when Mr.Lin woke up,it was there in front of him.
''Here's the horse, Mr. Lin ,'' the doctor said.
''I've taken it out of your stomach,
and it won't give you any more trouble now.''
At first Mr. Lin was happy,but then he looked at the horse again and said,
''But,doctor,myhorse was white,and this one is brown!''

★Rading [2]

Two friends were camping together.
Their names were Jim and Tim.
Tim was very lazy.
Thefirst evening of their holiday,Jim said ti Tim,
''Here is some money.
Go and buy some meat.''
''I am too tires. ''answered Tim.''You go.''
So Jim went to buy the meat.
When he can back,he said to Tom,''Now,here is the meat.
Please cook it. ''But Tim answered,
''No I am not good at cooking. You do it.''
So Jim cooked the meat.
Then Jim said to Tim,''Cut the bread,''but Tim answered,
''I don't want to.'' so Jim cut the bread.
Then he said to Tim,''Go and get some water,please.''
''No,I don't want to get my clothes dirty,''
Tim answered,so Jim got the water.
At last Jim said, ''The meal is ready. Come and eat it.''
''Well,I'll do that,''answered Tim.
''I don't like saying ''No'' all the time

請幫我翻譯[英翻中]然後找出笑點,翻譯簡單又明瞭就好。
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