Is it right to fall in love with a Mormon missionary?

My closest friend is attending the mormon church and the missionaries goes to her house to teach her about the Book of Mormon and the bible, etc... she hasn't baptized yet but she's planning to do it soon.The problem is that a new missionary came a few months ago and she's falling in love with him. He doesn't know it and she doesn't pretend to tell him because she's extremly shy. She tries (and will always try) to keep ot secret and she wonders if it was wrong to fall in love with him. What can she do? I know (and she knows) that the missionaries are not allowed to have a relationship while they are in their mission, they can't even flirt or something like that, but she really wants him. I really want to help my friend.

15 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Very good question!

    I recently returned from my mission in Japan.

    Japanese people generally love anything different to them, especially 'white guys' so that plays a big factor in our finding. We are not really allowed approach single females (if they come to the door that is no problem) but we have to be very careful.

    As has already been said, many investigators 'fall in love' with the missionaries. Not to burst your friends bubble, but I highly doubt she LOVES! this elder. She is just infactuated with him. It happens alot. You will always have people feeling things for the elders, what do you expect, they are young spiritually beautiful single guys who give you a good feeling every time you visit.

    The good feeling, and the love your friend feels is the love of Christ, not the love of the missionary.

    (i had to explaint this to many people on my mission)

    Your friend shouldnt join the church because of a cute missionary she has feelings for, because after they transfer it will be very hard for her.

    You say your friend "really wants him" she doesnt even know him, all she knows is the Elder "insert name" who he is at the moment.

    Some people end up marrying people that they taught and baptised, but it doesnt always work out.

    You are not allowed to write to the missionary until he has finished his mission, and you need to realise that this missionary has a life and possibly even a girlfriend back home waiting for him.

    Wow I wont even get into the stories I had from my mission, but lets just say it happens alot! If there really is a problem, ask for different missionaries to teach her, so she can focus more on the gospel and not on the missionary. good luck and email me if you have any other questions :)

    Source(s): personal experience from my mission
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  • 4 years ago

    Not while on a Mission. Mormons take some things more seriously then others do. It is a different way of looking at the World. It is hard for Non-Mormons to understand that sometimes. Besides that, if the LDS Misssionary thinks he might really like someone, then he can just wait until after the LDS Mission is over, and if they want to be friends with that other person, and that then leads to marriage, then there is nothing wrong with that. But when you are on an LDS Mission, then that is what you need to be focused in on one hundred percent of the time, simple as that. Besides that any kind of monkey business will get an Elder in deep trouble, and they are always with another Missionary, so it is virtually impossible for something untoward happening during a Mission (I have never heard of this happening). LDS Missionaries are true men and they are dedicated servants of Jesus Christ, if that was not so, then they would not be serving an LDS Mission, promoting Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ's holy and righteous commandments, in the first place.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Many single investigators will fall for the missionaries that teach them. That's one of the things that new members struggle with, unfortunately. The struggle is that they get to know the missionaries quite well prior to baptism, then usually either the missionary gets transferred or gets through with their mission shortly after baptism. The new member sometimes feels like they're alone. That's where the rest of the ward comes in (and should come in before this happens).

    It's good that she wants to keep it a secret - for now at least. However, she must really evaluate WHY she is wanting to be baptized. Is it for the right reason? Does she want to be baptized because of the "really cute missionary" or does that not even play a part of it but is instead a "bonus"? If there's even a hint of it being because of the missionary then she needs to put the breaks on baptism and ask for different missionaries - maybe even some Sister missionaries. It will be embarrassing to do this, but better to be embarrassed right now and do the right thing, than not be embarrassed but be baptized for the wrong reasons.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sometimes this happens because the new convert feels like the missionary "saved them" or helped them so much, made their life better, that they feel close to them and even love them. Most times, if the feelings are not acted upon, after the missionary leaves, that "love" will be realized to have just been a love for the gospel and a thankfulness to the missionary. I am not saying that is what is happening with your friend. As others have suggested, if she truly feels this way, she should write him after he leaves and see if any feelings develop then. She should keep it mostly hidden for now though because it could only cause both of them undue trouble. The missionary should be 100% focused on serving the Lord, there will be plenty of time later to look for an eternal companion.

    Encourage her to pray about it, she may even ask for help to not have those feelings right now...and of course, she can write him when he goes home.

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  • 5 years ago

    This Site Might Help You.


    Is it right to fall in love with a Mormon missionary?

    My closest friend is attending the mormon church and the missionaries goes to her house to teach her about the Book of Mormon and the bible, etc... she hasn't baptized yet but she's planning to do it soon.The problem is that a new missionary came a few months ago and she's falling in...

    Source(s): fall love mormon missionary:
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  • suozzo
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    In Love With A Mormon

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  • Falling in love with a missionary is not uncommon. A couple times throughout my mission I was approached in similiar cases. The best thing your friend can do, is get baptized (if she truly believes in the religion). Then once the missionary is out of the area of preferably through with his mission, then tell him. It is acceptable to exchange mailing addresses with converts upon being transferred. If he winds up feeling the same way in the end, then great. If not, they will still have a great friendship.

    Source(s): I'm a former full time missionary
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  • 1 decade ago

    The Bible teaches that love overcomes all.

    I know a woman who is now married to the missionary who converted her. After his mission, he came back and found her. What I would suggest, is after her baptism, and just before he leaves (they are moved on fairly frequently) she should tell him how she feels, or write it in a letter and give it to him, and ask him to read it only when he has left, or when his mission is over, and write that if he ever felt the same way, please get in touch when the mission is over. There is nothing else she can do without jeopardizing his mission, but love should never be ignored!

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  • 1 decade ago

    She can write to him after he transfers to his next section. The Mormon missionaries rotate every few months. Maybe it would be easier for her to tell him how she feels in a letter. If he has feelings for her, it would be safer for him to tell her that after he's transferred and there is some space between them. (Proclaiming your love to one of your investigators would really hurt his mission, if not destroy it)

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  • Doctor
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You can't help loving a missionary. She should keep it to herself, for her benefit, and for the benefit of the missionary she loves. Perhaps after his mission she might contact him.

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