please give me some advice of make my introductional paragraph better?

Have you ever wonder how to bake a cake? Well, if you have not, I suggest you to bake one. If you do not know how to bake a cake I can show you step by step. For example: you will need to gatter all of your ingredients to bake a cake, which are cake mix, eggs, filling, frosting, vegetable oil, and water, then you can start baking your cake.

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  • Bestie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Don't start a sentence with "Well."

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    How do you begin to write an introduction paragraph?

    Step #1:

    Most essays begin with a general statement (generalization). This sentence typically acts as the topic sentence for the paragraph.

    Step #2:

    Next, the supporting detail sentences are written to narrow the topic.

    In this first paragraph the writer must introduce the topic by making a thesis statement. A thesis statement is similar to a topic sentence. It is a general statement that tells the reader what you will be writing about. (You will generally have three items to mention in your thesis statement).

    The introduction should also hook the reader. This means that the introduction should draw the reader in. It should make the reader want to read more of the essay.

    Let's look at our sample introduction paragraph.Now, look at an example of an introduction paragraph written by an ESOL student.

    To become a successful writer, students should follow some important steps. Just attending the class is not enough. Writers need a good background in grammar and vocabulary, skills in writing essays, and skills in editing. Learning to be a successful writer involves a lot of hard work.

    Is this an acceptable introduction paragraph?I think this is a good introduction paragraph. First, I introduced the topic of becoming a successful writer. Then, I added supporting sentences that helped narrow the topic.

    I also have a thesis sentence that outlines the paragraph in three sections: 1) background in grammar and vocabulary, 2) skills in writing essays, and 3) skills in editing. I think the topic is interesting for ESOL students.

    .

    To become a successful writer, students should follow some important steps. Just attending the class is not enough. Writers need a good background in grammar and vocabulary, skills in writing essays, and skills in editing. Learning to be a successful writer involves a lot of hard work.

    Sarah has a nice introduction paragraph. The paragraph begins with a generalization about the topic of becoming a successful writer. Sarah has also included supporting detail sentences that narrow and focus the topic of the essay. In Sarah's introduction paragraph it is clear that there are three areas of good writing to be discussed in the essay: 1) the importance of background in grammar and vocabulary, 2) the writer's skills in writing essays, and 3) the writer's skills in editing.

    My only question is whether the introduction hooks the reader. Does it make the reader want to continue and read more of the essay? What do you think? Who might be interested in reading this essay? Who do you think would not be interested? Maybe you could discuss this with your classmates.

    .

    To become a successful writer, students should follow some important steps. Just attending the class is not enough. Writers need a good background in grammar and vocabulary, skills in writing essays, and skills in editing. Learning to be a successful writer involves a lot of hard work.

  • 1 decade ago

    Read your first three sentences to yourself, and see if they seem repetitive to you--if so, try to figure out how to make each worth having in your paragraph while retaining the interesting, introductory sense.

    As far as your thesis/topic sentence...some "quicky" advice. Write the rest of your paper and make certain it stays relatively on-topic. Return to your thesis--does it still suit your paper? If not, rewrite your thesis statement to match up with what you've written. In other words, work backward!

    Your thesis as it stands gives away too much information and is currently acting as an explanatory sentence that belongs later in the paper. Right now, you should be briefly mentioning the points you'll be discussing--the rest of the paper should be where you elaborate on those points and provide examples.

    Also, watch your tenses, especially in the first sentence.

    Happy writing!

    Source(s): BA in Literature/Creative Writing
  • Don't tell them the steps so early in the paper. tell them " use the necessary ingredients" not all the ingredients you need. makes ur body paragraph weaker. and definitely take out the for example sentence

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  • 1 decade ago

    A paper should be set up like this.

    Intro Paragraph...Tell them what your going to tell them

    Body....Tell them what you said you'd tell them

    Conclusive Paragraph...Tell them what you told them.

    (Hint: Take out the For Example... sentence. Use that as your Topic sentence of your first paragraph)

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it is great! no need to worry about!

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