am i being to harsh?

my 6 year old has been bugging me to cut her hair. i didn't cut it for her. yesterday she came how w/a baggie containing some hair & a note that she cut it at school & then tried to lie about it. dispite the fact that her hair is now very uneven, i refused to fix it for her. i don't want her to think of doing bad things & lieing will get what she wants. my mom says i should fix it any way. do you think i an being to harsh about this? please share your opion on this as if it was your child. thank you. :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I dont personaly think you are being too hard on her. She needs to learn that lieing and sneaking like that is NOT ok. you should talk to her and make sure she understands just why it is that you wont fix her hair and why she is being punished. My sister's daughter put gum in her hair at age 12 just so she could get it cut and my sister just cut the gum out leaving funny looking peices sticking up. She has never tryed anything like that again. so no, i dont think you are being too harsh

  • 1 decade ago

    Stop for a moment and think of this from your daughter's perspective. She asked something from you and you didn't do it. Did you give her good reasons why you wouldn't cut her hair, or did you just not do it? She obviously cares very much about it; perhaps you need to talk with her and find out *why* she wants her hair cut so much. Give her some undivided attention and by all means - of course fix it for her! Don't make her a potential laughing stock at school just because you want to make a point. Tell her she messed up and you're sorry this happened, but also be her mother. Part of your job is to train her, but part of it is also to help her fix her mistakes, not make her suffer more for them.

    If you feel you still need to get through to her about lying, have her write an apology note to her teacher - she'll still get the message but she won't have to feel shamed by walking around with wacky hair. Even if she's not officially "writing" yet, she can copy a simple "I'm sorry." and draw a picture to go with it. Then she can deliver it to her teacher and know she's done her best to make up for where she went wrong.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i did that once when i was a child, only i was younger. just having messed up hair was enough of a lesson for me. im now a mom, and if my daughter did that, i would have a age-appropriate talk with her. i would tell her that she should have listened to me, and that now, she has funny hair because she disobeyed. then i would fix it for her and hope she learns her lesson. I would also have had more of a talk with her about it. I would have told her the reasons i didnt think she should cut her hair. Then i would have listened to WHY she wanted her hair cut. I would have told her to think about it for a couple of days, and if she still feels the same way, I will let her get it cut. If she ends up hating it, oh well, its her head. maybe you should think about letting her have her hair cut the way she wants. my mom forced me to keep my hair long, blond, and with bangs all my life, even as a teen. when i turned 18, the first thing i did was chop it off and dye it burgundy. to this day, whenever i start feeling bored with my appearace, i change my hair. i feel that a child should be encouraged to express themselves in healthy ways, and not deprived of that right. otherwise, you end up with rebellion later in life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Actually that is great. When my daughter did the same thing I told her I was going to cut her hair like her dads and we would start calling her Robert instead of Rebecca. She has never cut her hair since. We did fix it a few days later.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well she is only 6. She was obviously very determined to cut her hair, there may be a reason why she wanted to cut it so bad maybe some other kid teased her about it I would try to find out why she is so gun ho about getting rid of this hair. I would even it out though that is probably humiliating to have uneven hair. GOOD LUCK!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I understand your plight and that's a new way of handling a situation like that, but I think that could be overly harsh because of the reprocussions that it can have for her at school - kids can be mean. Also, I don't think that you want to get into a "top this" type of thing and she comes home bald. Find something that she likes, take it away for a certain amount of time, maybe extra chores and don't leave it alone for a while.

  • 1 decade ago

    honestly, i agree with you.

    my sister would insist on it and eventually cut her own hair. then she had school pics and wanted a "quick fix" but my parents after, many times of fixing it before, said NO and from then on she only asked once after and my parents just showed her the picture. and she never did it again.

    (my sister was about the same age at the time)

    but now she is 19 and we look at the picture and all laugh. she said to me that is when she learned mom and dad knew best.

    and for all the lines of she doesn't care that much--she wouldn't have asked in the first place. (that's my opinion anyway)

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow - you have issues.

    Get her hair cut. What is the big friggin' deal. You have a six year old daughter who now feels like she can't come to her mother.

    Well... she can, but you ignore her and then punish her.

    If you'd simply listened to her and addressed the issue in the first place, she wouldn't have cut it herself or felt the need to lie about it.

    As a mother of a daughter in this day and age, you should empower her to make some decisions for herself (within limits and with your POSITIVE feedback).

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with your mother

    Every single one of my five girls did this at one point or another and ended up cutting their hair--uneven

    The youngest did it when she was 8-just before school started. I had left her with a sitter for the day and instead of asking the sitter to help her to get the hair out her face she whacked it off very close to her face. Needless to say her long hair is very short now. It is in a cute style for her age and she loves it.

    It does grow out mom.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with the above answer.

    You are the adult and she is the child. Act like the adult and fix her hair. If you had just trimmed it that would have been enough and she wouldn't have cut it at school.

    Otherwise, tell her she was naughty and fix it for her. Set up a punishment like she can't do her crafts (with scissors) on the next craft you two do together.

    Source(s): Personal Experience (my mom was the same way with my hair even at 29 I have short hair...) If she starts sneaking and lying to you now about silly things like hair...what will she do when she's a teenager? It just sets up a bad habit...
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