Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

My father is very sick. I want to move back to be near him. He's not only sick, but he's alone...?

My husband doesn't want to move because he has two older girls (mid-20's) that he doesn't want to move away from. My suggestion was that I move to my father's house (about 200 miles away) with the children and he can visit with us on the weekends or when ever he gets a chance. He said he won't be able to come see us because the girls (his older girls) are used to seeing him on the weekends. He has pretty much demanded that I stay here and let someone else handle dad. The thing is that there is no one else to take care of my father. I have to go. I can still work (I'm versatile like that) so money won't be an issue and we'll stay in dad's house.

I think this move is going to be a giant step toward the end of this marriage. I have to go. The children want to see Gammpy and I want to take care of him. He is very sick and he needs me. My husband is more concerned with his older girls than he is with us and that is his choice. Mine is to be with dad. What do you think?

Update:

I'll probably be gone a few weeks to a few months. Like I said, I can still work and I'll have the children with me. My husband will be free to do as he pleases. If he chooses to visit, well, we'll be there. If not, that is his choice.

I thought he'd understand. He quit his job when his mom was sick and we had no one to care for her. Why is it different with my dad?

Update 2:

Dad needs to stay in his own home, near in his own doctors and his friends. Moving him here just to accomadate my husband would be selfish on my part. Dad was never selfish when it came to me and I won't do that to him now.

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Girl, that husband of your sounds like a real nut job. I'VE READ THE OTHER POSTS AND EVEN ANSWERED SOME OF YOUR OTHER QUESTIONS. He's mean, selfish, self-centered and concentrates all of his attention on his older children although he has a baby who needs his time and love too.

    You go to your dad and take care of you, your dad, and your children. Let your husband wallow in the dirt and grime with his mooching older girls. He's making bad mistakes. He'll either wise up or regret the decisions that he's made.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My question is, why isn't your father in the hospital or a nursing home for care, if he is very sick? I think that you should go to your father's home and see if you can arrange for a caregiver to watch him or find help from the state. If there is no one in your family that will care for him, then you need to do what it takes to find some one to help him while you are there. You don't need to move with him when you have your husband and children to care for. Now you expect for your husband to do the same, which he probably won't because of his kids.

    If you are willing to put your father before your husband and children, then you are going to be the cause of your marriage breaking up. And if you are willing to find someone to care for your father, then that shows you that you want to save your marriage. Do what it takes to find someone, no need to move there when you have family already!

    You need to talk to your husband and tell him that you will be there to visit your father and NOT move there, until he gets the right help for his care. Don't use the kids in the middle of your decisions, that is not their responsibility, it is you and your husbands. Don't forget either, you husband needs a wife and your kids need a mother too.

  • 1 decade ago

    Take car of your dad, im assuming he took care of u when u were helpless. Before u go tell your husband that u pray that he never has to got through ths but if he did you would be there for him. If it ends because of this then that tells u a whole lot about this relationship. This is the epitomy of what a marriage is. Compromise in a tough, life changing situation.

  • 1 decade ago

    God, I would go. I moved to Florida to be near my mother who is extremely ill and my father two years ago. It is the best thing i ever did. Things were said that needed to be said, everything just came into a perspective. Your kids love him and I see from your words you love your Dad. This is it. Go! Have no regrets. Your Dad was always there for you and we have this obligation to our parents that should come from Love. I promise you will never regret this regardless of what happens with your husband...if he loves you he will accommodate you now...this is probably one of the most difficult times of your life...go...and Love and your Dad and let your children love him as long as they can.

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  • Lace
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Why not have your father move in with you and you can take care of him and keep an eye on him and your husband can still see his girls. I think your husband is being very selfish and he should be more considerate. Good Luck

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Hm. i do no longer think of all of us has addresed the 1st paragraph you wrote once you published your Questions information (which I take as being a "thinking out loud" concerning to the homestead you're in possibly having an detrimental capability field). because of the fact that i'm no longer on your location, i won't carry out an precise study and supply you any definitive solutions. whether, I even have been around Ley strains, and mutually with that going rhough your front room could make people uncomfortable sufficient to decide to bypass away after a couple of minutes. Worse if the homestead became on a junction of them. yet another risk could be that of a homicide or different unsightly issues that would have got here approximately interior the form that became there earlier...and lingered after the "rebuilding" you refer to. there is no longer something that i'm conscious of which could be carried out approximately Ley strains. however the different factor i discussed must be brushed off with a spectacular carried out exorcism of the homestead. it may be greater desirable in case you knew precisely what you have been coping with. yet to try this ought to require you hit upon out concerning to the earlier homestead's background.

  • 1 decade ago

    Is there anyway you can move him closer to you? If not your husband has to grow up and realize that this is what family is about. It seems to me if you didn't help out your father, it would haunt you for the rest of your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    well if movin your dad closer to you isnt an option i would move to him you only have one dad and he wont be here forever does he not think that your dad wants his daughter there just like he wants to be with his daughters what if he was sick i would think he would want them there i would stand up for yourself your father and his grandchildren and enjoy what time you have left with him if not you will regret it and have to live with this the rest of your life and you will resint your husband as well good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    Your husband is being selfish. God bless you for taking care of your dad.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If your father is that sick I am assuming he is not working. Is there any way he could move closer to you?

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