Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 decade ago

in laws???

I have 5 sister in laws and a mil who ALL hate me and are nothing but rude and horrid to me. They refuse to even recognize me and only talk to their brother and completly ignore the fact thats hes now married and having a baby. That I have a friend that is throwing me a baby shower !!!

But she didnt invite the sisters or his mom.

Is it really horrible of me not to say anything about it?? Is it required that i ask they be invited or how should i handle this. We are not even on speaking terms. My husband doesnt care just doesnt want to deal with them or their drama.


23 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    What you DON'T want to happen is the in-laws to find out that you had a shower and they were intentionally NOT invited. This will give them MORE ammunition against you and make the situation worse. You can, however, invite them and if they dislike you as much as you think, they probably won't come! Or, maybe since you did invite them they will call a truce! If you dont like this solution, you may want to have a "Friends" baby shower and a seperate "Family" baby shower. Good Luck! I have a MIL that is HORRID herself!

    Source(s): Mommy of 3
  • 1 decade ago

    If they aren't on speaking terms with you and don't recognize you as a family member then I wouldn't even bother to invite them. Even if you did what are the chances that they would come let alone bring a useful gift that the baby could use? Probably pretty slim. So what if they get all irriate about it, just tell them how it is... That you don't feel like a part of his family and don't see why you should invite them to a fun function if they just stress you out. Your friend is just looking out for you. People showing up that don't want to be there really and are just doing it for show tend to poop on the party.

    Congrats on your new baby.

    Source(s): Mom of 1 with 1 on the way
  • 1 decade ago

    Hunny I am in a similiar situation and right now to be honest you dont need the stress, I wouldnt bother inviting them if they have no interest in your life now then why bring the drama to one of your very special days with your new baby to be. That is suppose to be a sacred day a mother and baby bond day and I would be afraid that they would say something or just out right ruin it for you if they dont like you already. I understand some people would think you should be the bigger person and invite them and maybe in a different situation I would agree but this is your day and if you dont want them there dont invite them this is a happy day for you shouldnt be a stressful day.. Hope you have a great baby shower!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly the best thing you can do is to invite them! Dont scoop to their level! Just be polite and dont give them a reason (not that some need it anyway) for bitchyness! Its the best revenge! In the end its them that will suffer! they are the ones that will miss out on the precious memories of their neice or nephew grandkid being born and growing up! If you have heaps of friends , thats even better,, There is a old saying that is so true! : you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family! My sisters and i are not that close nor my mother however i have plently of great friends and a old lady that adopted my kids as her own grandkids despite that she has 8 of her own from her sons and daughter,! that treat them with so much love and respite that it doesnt matter!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, if they treat you like crap, I wouldnt invite them :-)... but if you feel that is necessary, maybe you should have a talk with them and try to fix the problem. If you do that, and they still are acting hateful, dont invite them or give them an invitation and let them be the ones to not show up. This makes you the good person in the situation.

  • 1 decade ago

    Kill them with kindness. To be honest they don't even sound like they are smart enough to get that your husband don't even want to be around them. Be the better person and invite them if they start any drama tell them to leave, nicely. If they should not listen call the police they will be happy to make them leave. Either way when it comes to in laws your always going to be the bad one. but at least give it a try. Hope that helps, things should get better after that baby comes, just remember that's your baby not there's be firm and they will get the hint . Besides you married your husband not his family drama.

    Source(s): I had a mother in law and sister in law from hell. Divorced now. Remarried mil not to bad and married only child
  • 1 decade ago

    ok well listen to this i had the same problem once before and honetsly invite them if they dont show up that makes you the better person why in the world would they make the baby suffer its not his fault and most likely not your fault they dont like you either they just wanted him to find someone of their liking and not his they cant live his life for him and he can make all decisions on his own or with you invite them and if they dont come let him know thay you dont want them there in the hospital when the baby comes and if he thinks your being childish say that its not that you just dont feel it is necessary to bring the drama to the hospital and you dont need the stress of people who could care less of you and your baby around you at such a stressing and tiring time. good luck sweetie and screw them lol you dont need them anyway and if it bothers you really bad tell your husband to say something to them about it and if he already has then you shouldnt burn the bridges with them but stay back including him and let them come to you guys and not alone but they should come to both of you or all three of you as a family not as a sinlge brother . good luck hope i helpd a little bye.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well , this is a hard one .. But you should invite them and if they choose not to come , then that is their problem .. by inviting them you are showing them that you are a better person than they are . make the first step , this could be a good thing towards them becoming more friendly to you .. I am sure it will be hard , but be the bigger person , not only that , but it shows your husband that you are trying to get along with his family and if they do not show then that proves to him that they are the ones to blame for the stress in this whole mess .. good luck to you and your husband and con-grates on the new baby ..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


    I personally wouldn't invite them and I wouldn't care if they were offended about it. I'd be telling my husband to be a man and tell those nasties to start being nice. If he loves you (which is all that really matters) then they should accept that and show you some respect! You're carrying their grandchild/niece/nephew what more do they want. I'd move as far away as possible from them if they don't want to accept you. I've got nothing to do with my family because they didn't like my husband. I haven't spoken to them for 4 years, I've got 3 kids and we're all right! Happy in fact that we don't have to put up with their nonsence. Goodluck with whatever you choose to do. Get your hubby to say something! Enjoy your baby and good on your friend for being there for you!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if these people are horrid to you then on you shouldn't invite them a baby shower is for the girl that is having the baby and her friends it really has nothing to do with the father of the baby and his family so i wouldn't invite them and i wouldn't say anything to them about it unless they ask

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