what do you think of this song i wrote? honest answers plz!!?

I see you everyday, wish i could tell you (wish i could tell you)

how i feel for you

when i first saw you (when i first saw you)

my heart flew

and

CHORUS

i have always loved you

more than you ever knew

now i need you

more than you realize.....that i do

i cannot go on livin without you anymore

now your with him (now your with him)

you look so happy

so tell me are you happy?! (are you happy!?)

cause its killing me seeing you with him

cause

repeat chorus

now your getting married

and i realize that your love for him is true

and now i am feeling blue

cause you love him but i love you

repeat chorus ? maybe

if your reading this

i must be gone

but don't be sad

he will make you happy

but just remember that i always loved you

saw you everyday

glad i finally told you how i feel

for you.

i wrote this song with 1 of my friends, and it is intended to be sung by an alternative rock band, i would like to know your thoughts of it.

do you like it? if not what is wrong? don't lie be honest

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    "if your reading this

    i must be gone"

    does that mean that you've commited suicide or just left her alone and told her you once loved her?

    you've got to say or at least explain why you love her. her eyes, smile or the way she carried herself. or was it just her looks? Explain what about her made you love her.

    the idea is good and it flows well.

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  • Clelia
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Eh, it is passable. I don't think I would mind hearing it, but it is a song that comes a dime a dozen. Maybe from the opposite side of what I'm used to, but still the whole "hey baby, I think we made a mistake maybe we should get back together" thing is very over done IMO. Still if you take that out, it is a decent song. Not an award winning one, but one that might get some radio play. What genre were you shooting for?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    in all honesty, so much depends on your style that its diffiuclt to give it a thumbs up, or thumbs down. If I have to judge it based on content alone, it seems catchy, i could see you rockin out to it. i sang it to myself and imagine a certain style that involves long hair and a lot of melody/harmonizing stuff. but... you'll need some serious electric guitar kick to push it into overdrive. its also quite short, which im sure you are aware of... i'd add more of a story to it after the first stanza.

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  • 1 decade ago

    "love for him is true" and "now i am feeling blue"...?

    you can do a lot better than that, don't just go with the first thing that pops out, pursue the language.

    in fact, that whole married verse is a little too obvious, find a more creative way to say it.

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  • Paula
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Not bad at all, maybe a lil change on the 2nd verse

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  • 1 decade ago

    I personally think that's good for a beginner! but I'm looking for the best!!

    all my best wishes for you!

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  • 1 decade ago

    u need 2 refresh ur music writing skills, cuz they need some work...not to be harsh or anything :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    personaly i like it but i would have to hear it with music but i like the lyrics. but i would probably hate for someone to sing it to me just to let you know. but it sounds good. GOOD JOB!! : )

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Pretty Good I must say!!!! Good luck with it!!

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