ijij asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

幫我改我寫的作文

不知道有沒有人可以幫我改作文 順便交我怎樣才能把作文寫好

題目是 Thank you 你什麼時候會用到 結果?

A simply sentense "Thank you" maybe look like is onthing ,but it's very

important . take me for instance ,Once time a people lose his car's key.

he looks like very neverous andd I found his key ket by accident. Then

I turn the key back to he However he didn't say a word and quickly

droven his car away . that make me feel very bad. I always think it's a

good thing to help others ,but his behave that me depress .I'm not want

to require anything,but I think he should say "Thank you" to me at less.

Because if other pick the key up and steal his car ,he will lose a lot of

money.

I think it is a polite to say "Thank you". See the people have not polite

let me decided to must to teach my son to be a person who has polite

wouldn't do the same thing as the man. in short , I think if anyone have

not polite ,he would not get help from people again.

麻煩英文好的人幫我改 謝謝拉 可以的話順變幫我打分數

4 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    A simply sentense "Thank you" maybe look like is onthingnothing, but it's very important. take me for instance ,Once, time a peopleperson loselost his car's key. he looksed like very neverous and I found his key by accident. Then I turn the key back to he However he didn't say a word and quickly drovendrove his car away. tThat makemade me feel very bad. I always thinkthought it's a good thing to help others, but his behavebehavior that me depressed me. I'm not want to require I did not ask for anything, but I think he should say "Thank you" to me at lessleast. Because if other picked the key up and stealstole his car, he will lose a lot of money. I think it is a polite to say "Thank you". Seeing the rude people have not polite let made me decided to that I must to teach my son to be a polite person who has polite wouldn't do the same thing as the man did. in short, I think if anyone have not a person is not polite, he would not get help from people again.

    幾個重點

    拼字錯字太多。文法錯也許可以原諒,不過拼字算是基本的。如果要我打分數,光這個就扣很多分了。 注意單數複數,像是 "a person" 而不是 "a people"。 型態也要注意。如果有疑問哪個時候要跳出過去式,保持過去式比較保險 作文寫法上幾個要點

    英文重視簡潔,所以能刪的盡量刪。我跟你刪的有些不是文法錯,而是我覺得不需要的。 盡量避免 "I think"。這是你寫的,當然是 you think 的。同樣,這是為了簡潔 我建議你再寫一次。你可以想多一些內容,和嘗試不同的文法。一次一次慢慢來,然後貼上來請教建議。

    2007-01-14 00:56:59 補充:

    月兒改的不錯,有幫你修的順一點。我是只有改文法啦 XD

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  • 1 decade ago

    建議使用Daniel的版本, 但其中或許您要注意一些事----

    I always (thought)--- 既然是一貫的想法, 就應該使用think 才對

    a polite thing....才對

    除開上述兩點之外, Daniel 的版本確實改的不錯, 值得借用!

    2007-01-14 01:31:10 補充:

    I couldn't have done a better job than what Daniel did. Therefore, take my word for it. Choose Daniel's version!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Thank you 應該講phrase

    look like is onthing這邊我看不太懂,不過這邊的文法錯了,look like 不可能再加be動詞了

    once time a people lost his car

    he looked like...因為前面講了Once tine已經是敘述過去的事情了

    i found his key ket by accident.....我看不太懂

    應該是i found his key by accident

    then i turned .... drove his car away....沒有droven這個字

    你想寫driven吧....這是過去分詞

    behave是動詞應該改成behavior名詞

    but his behavior let me disappointed

    i am not want........一個句子有兩個動詞就錯了

    應該是...i do not want......

    at less改成at least

    最後一段

    i think it is a polite to say thank you . people are not polite will made me

    want to teach my son to be a polite person and he will not do the kind of things as the man. to sum up, i think if one person is not polit , he will not get any help from others.

    上面的敘述有點亂

    不過你應該看的懂

    你需要一些時態上的加強

    多看文章多背佳句

    打分的話我只能給你65分

    加油吧

    我ㄧ開始的作文也很爛喔

    有恆心一定能成功

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A simple sentence "Thank you" may look like nonthing ,but it's very important . Take me for instance, there was a time when a person lost his car's key and he seemed very neverous. I happened to came across his key by accident and I returned the key to him. However he didn't say even a word or "Thank you" and drove away quickly. That made me feel very bad. I had always believed in helping others, but his behaviour made me depressed. I didn't want

    anything in return, but I thought he should at least say "Thank you" to me. It was because if another person had picked up the key and stole his car ,he would have lost a lot of money.

    I think it is very impolite not to say "Thank you" when others have helped you. Seeing other people's rudeness, have led me to decide that I must teach my son to become a person who won't be rude or impolite. So that he won't do the same thing as that man. In short, I think if one is being rude or impolite, he will not get help from others in the future again.

    2007-01-14 04:10:15 補充:

    sentence這個字應改為phrase

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