Every day my girlfriend gets calls from men she was intimate with in the past, how do I deal with it?

Do I have the right to ask her to stop? It bothers me, especially when she says she is "tempted" to see them because they were "friends with benefits". I love her and trust her to be faithful but I fear this the kind of situation she will use to break my heart.

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    If you really love her and trust her does anything else matter? Sometimes people have been hurt to the point that they are just afraid to let go of the past. That doesn't mean that she will break your heart by just keeping her options open. I bet when she finally realizes that you do love her all options will be closed. Probably has already happened. I Love you John

  • 1 decade ago

    Well I have had the same situation and I am telling you right now that if she is even answering these calls while she is with you and she tells you she is tempted, that means she is entertaining the idea of getting together with one of these guys and eventually the odds are she will cave in and end up hurting you. You need to express to her your concerns but don't do it in a spineless manner, but do not come across like a control freak either. There is a fine balance in which you need to approach this situation. If she does not understand or is unwilling to put temptation away for the sake or your relationship than she is unworthy of trust and without trust a relationship will fail. I hope this helps you

  • Erika
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Your ex/soulmate sounds like a confused individual. If it's not too much to ask, how old is she? I think A and B are applicable, C is pretty much unjustifiable (I believe you deserved something civil and more clear to understand in the ways of ending a relationship), and D is personally ill advised. It's rough, but you want your future spouse to appreciate you, be somewhat stable, and most importantly be honest with you. If she's got problems with her ex, she should be willing to talk to you about them if she can't handle them herself (which seemed to be the problem). You deserve to have your future spouse be honest with you and keep you in the loop. When you told her to look into her heart and find what she really wanted you obviously hit a nerve-- Looking back at the situation maybe she decided you weren't it even though logically you might have been the best option. Emotions vs. Reason, y'know? Also, some women go through a phase where any thought of long term stability or commitment scares them scheißeless. They feel like they're missing out on fun stuff and exploring who they are. It happened to me :\ Best of luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You asked if you "have the right," does your girlfriend have the right to continue doing something that bothers you? In the past, if I've mentioned another man to my boyfriend, it was to see what his reaction would be. Childish yes, but a lot of people do it. If your boyfriend is upset by the mention of another man, he's jealous and somehow that means he cares about you. It sounds as if she's trying to either make you jealous or warning you that she is tempted to be unfaithful ... Either way, there should be a big red flag waving in front of your face.

    I would suggest talking with her, telling her your concerns, explaining how you feel when she says she's tempted to see these men and how it makes you feel when she talks to them.

    If your girlfriend loves you and wants to make an honest go of your relationship, she'll be willing to compromise on issues that bother you.

    Good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have guys who I was with who call me but I do not answer or talk to them for respect to my bf. I know those guys are only calling me for one thing they don't want to be my friend come on they are guys. Your gf should tell them to stop calling if it bothers you how would she like it if girls in your past always called you? and the fact that she says she is tempted why would she say that that is just wrong. You need to sit her down and talk to her and tell her how this makes you feel and if she still says that she is tempted then you need to rethink your relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    You're a fool to trust her. You want to trust her but she'll just dissapoint you, dude. You'd be better off accepting the fact that she's gonna get it on w/one of these dude. Also tell her as much but don't be judgmental about it, just be as a matter a fact about it as possible. You may just challenge to her actually be faithful. Couldn't hurt to try.

  • Time to draw the line bro! If they are still calling than either she's sneaking around or doesn't feel completely safe with you. She's keeping her options open. Make her yours and let her know or release her cause this is a dangerous situation.

  • 1 decade ago

    thats really tough. does she talk to these guys and maintaining friendships? if so, you have to evaluate your level of trust for her. i talk to some past girlfriends, but the only the ones i was really close with. if they are calling, you know they are looking. have you tried talking to an ex of yours, see who she likes that. even have her call you sometime when she is around.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She is trying to talk you into a 3some.

    You can either put us with her being a slut and cheating on you or you can leave.

    You are a fool if you think she isn't going to cheat. She has talked about banging other guys and you don't get it.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you have the right to ask her to stop. If she respects you and your feelings, she will do so. If not, i would move on. Just my 2 cents bro.

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