Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

me and my boyfriend really want a kid but we r young should i if i really want it?

i really love him and he loves me!

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ♥ ♥ you shouldnt have a child until you can support and provide for it all on your own and you are married ♥ ♥

  • 1 decade ago

    By the way you formed your question, I am guessing that you're probably not very old and probably don't have a college degree, and perhaps not even a high school diploma ("me and my boyfriend..." instead of "My boyfriend and I".. things like that). That tells me that you have a lot of life left to live and a lot left to learn that having a child would take away from.

    In addition the "boyfriend" part is a bit of a worry, too. I think that people should be married or at least in a seriously committed relationship before they start having children. Do you two live together? If so, for how long?

    Loving a person and wanting a child is not a good enough reason to just bring an innocent child into this world. You need to make sure that you are mentally, physically and financially ready (and spiritually ready). Having children is a big undertaking. It's not the same as having a dog or a cat. It's a whole lot more work than that. The cost is much more substantial, too.

    If you're not already planning your wedding, are under 20 (I'm sorry, but I don't think that people should have children when they're still teenagers themselves), don't both have full-time jobs, don't both have good educations and don't both already know what it takes to raise a child then I think you should wait.

    I am almost 30, have been with my husband over 2 years, and work as a college professor (in Early Childhood Education - so I know children) and we still don't think we are completely ready. We want to wait until we have more money in our savings account and have more of our bills paid off before we start having children. We took a look at what it takes and want to make sure to raise our children right and give them the best life possible. We are putting our wants aside for the needs of the child we want to have. It doesn't matter how desperately we want children, we care enough about the children we want to have to make sure that we can provide them with the best life possible.

    Make sure that you can provide your children with the best life possible before you have them. You don't want to end up on welfare and food stamps and WIC and have your children not have toys or "cool clothes" or any of those things that children want. Please consider all that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should never have a child unless you are in a loving commited marriage and have had a few years to get to know each other as a married couple. A child does not deserve to be brought into a single parent relationship. IT needs a father and a mother that are married and also you want to get a college education and so does he and see the world. You want to develop yourself as a person and have a life before you are tied down to a child. They are alot of work and they are forever and you will never get back those years of your life where you can go where ever you want without worrying about a baby sister. Im 20 going on 21 and been married since august. Im waiting till i finish college in 2009 and been working for awhile. Kids are a big decision. why dont you wait to see if your relationship grows into marriage and then think about it. I love my husband and think about babies all the time but its not the right decision.

  • 1 decade ago

    Becca, loving your boyfriend is one thing and having a baby with him is another!

    Babies are not little dolls that you play with, they require a lot of attention and money. Since you are still young as you say, I would wait for a while and after you and your boyfriend MARRY, you can then have a child together. I know of many couples (boyfriend, girlfriend) who dearly loved each other and had together a child. As time passed, the man (most of the time) turned his back and walked away with another woman. If this, God forbid, happened to you, you'll be called a single mother with a baby and all its responsibilities thrown on your lap.

    You want a baby? Get married first to guarantee an official father for your child. Don't live on promises and statements of eternal love, they quickly fly away.

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  • 1 decade ago

    How young is really young? If you are under 18, I would say no. If you love eachother so much, why not get married and do it the right way? If you truly love eachother, then get married and wait until you can afford to have the baby so you will be happy and can give the child a great life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Let me tell you a story, it starts out like this, once there was this boy who cried wolf......wait that has nothing to do with this, listen if you really really love him, you would think about what would happen to the kid you would have, having a kid is no walk in the park, can you afford to take care of said child, are you willing to give up the freedom that you once had? I could keep going on, but I don't want to, the fact that you are asking this question proves that you shouldn't even be having sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    Um, I would have to say after you get married. Do not make your life a big mistake, because you NEVER know what your future will be like. And, how old are you by the way? If you're 18 & under, it's a big no. Doesn't matter how much you love him, or how much he loves you back, you need to think about issues beyond that as well. But then again, it IS your life; YOU make the REAL decisions. I'm just trying to help you. Please, think it through, and when you've made your FINAL decision... well, we'll just see what life will bring at you, right? ^^

    Source(s): Um, sorry about this, but...I have no source, just my sence of thinking. (If you can even call that a source, haha...)
  • 1 decade ago

    It's important that you think about whether you are able to provide for that child and give it the best life possible before getting into it. If you are young, maybe try talking to some other young mums and see what their experiences have been like and what advice they have. Remember a child is a lifelong committment and it is only fair that you bring it into the world when you and your partner are completely ready and have really looked into what young parenthood is like. There is a lot to think about, and it's best to speak to some people who have done it before to really open your eyes.

  • Tina
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    o my god I'm in the same situation I really want a baby now I would love to be a mom but my financial situation is not very bright and my husband wants to study to be a teacher and go to uni so I might just have to wait :( mean while I'm going to try to get in to child care working with kids its a passion of mine so if I can't have kids yet then I can do something else so its alright but I can't wait to be a mom and oh I'm going to be 20 years old in a week so its better to wait and grow up a little more to become more mature and wise it will be easier.

    I wont tell you what to do just talk with your man and you to make a decision its all up to you guys ;)

    Best Wishes.

    p.s. if you like to chat or something please don't hesitate to contact me :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Simple. If you are not married, don't do anything. Seeing as you are not married, wait untill you are. Depending on how old you are (and how well you type) I am guessing you are 15 or 16. You, at this age, don't really know what love is, or what it means. You two could split up at any moment. Wait untill you are married.

    Source(s): Brio, Bible,
  • 1 decade ago

    my boyfriend is the keyword that worries me...

    it would be really unfair of you, and selfish of you, to bring a life into this world on the foundation of a boyfriend that may or may not be there in years to come

    you may be in love now, but sometimes thing dont work out, sometimes MARRIAGES don't work out, so by JUST being gf/bf is NOT enough.

    Its unfair to bring a child into the world without supporting a stable living enviornment for him/her to be in.

    You sound childish anyway, so no your to young wait

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