how do u ask some one out without being shy?and how do u break up with some 1 without breaking their hearts?
the reason why i am asking this is because i really wanna go out with a boy that is in my school but i'm too shy to even talk to him.
i need a really good answer for this question!
please help me with this.
- JohoLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
just try talking to him next time u see him. good luck and have a happy new year.
- 1 decade ago
Well, first don't set yourself up for a disapointment. I mean, don't invest too much in his answer, because that is what's hindering you in the first place. Just remember if you are not well received then he is the one who misses out.
I would just start talking to him, about anything, whatever, it doesn't matter. As long as you get his attention. That's what you want, you want his attention. Just show him that you are interested, any way you can think of. I know this sounds hard, but believe me I was the shy girl, and this is the only way.
One way I found that sort of helped me overcome my shyness was by testing my limits on people who didn't matter. Like, I'd stare at a random guy who I really did not have too much specific interest in for a few seconds and if he looked I wouldn't look away for a bit. I would talk to different guys and tell them jokes, but they weren't my specific interest. For someone like me it seemed impossible to be able to do that until I started doing it to people who I did not have a lot riding on. By that I mean I did't have too much invested in what they thought of me. I was extremely extremely shy, the kind who if you gave me your screename I'd stare at you online for like 3 hours before finally just saying hi. And now I have very few problems with all my shyness on people and thats what had worked best for me.
And breaking up with people...there is really rarely a way to do it without hurting them. The biggest way to hurt someone though is to lead them on. That means it's worse to pretend you are still inerested rather than breaking up. Just be honest with them and they will heal. Also if you don't want to continue being friends then don't say that you do because it is not something one wants to hear if it's not the truth and it hurts the person to believe you then find out later you didn't mean it.
Hope that helped.
- 1 decade ago
Of course you are shy! it's a part of liking someone that you will be shy around them but it is up to you to push through that barrier and overcome it. Try stepping outside your comfort zone in other ways. Are you normally shy? if you are, put yourself into other situations where you have to speak in public or something like that - you will find it will help you overcome your shyness in general and you can work up the balls to talk to him. If you are already friends with him, even a letter to him could be a good option.
In regards to breaking up with someone without hurting them? I'm sorry but it's just not possible! we are human and unfortunately that makes us prone to emotion! Just make sure you are honest and upfront and give them the decency of an explaination.
- 1 decade ago
You can't ever break up with someone without hurting them and bad things will happen. Like bad things will be said to you! But if you don't like this guy anymore let him down easy. First say "So and so I really liked you and we had something but I just don't think you're the right one for me." But make sure you let him know you want to be friends! As for being shy with this other guy it's nerves. You really like him just by letting me know you're nervous. But if you don't do it someone else might and then you're boyfriendless and have bad stuff being said about you. Oh and always make sure the guy you want to ask out LIKES you to because if he doesn't it's exactly the same as before boyfriendless and stuff behind your back. Life is making mistakes and just make sure this guy is worth more than the current boyfriend. If he's cocky and jerky but your boyfriend is the same then you're better off without either one of them but if ones sweet and simple then be with that one. Just make sure it's not something you won't regret really badly in the future. Good luck! Hopefully this guys worth your time! Oh btw make conversation with this guy by finding out what he likes and what interests him and "accidentally" run into or something and be like, "OMG!! I'm so sorry....hey aren't you so and so?" and he'll be all, "Yea." and be like I'm so and so and just start a conversation about something he likes and BOOM! You've got a friendship but don't let the friendship get into a serious one because then he wants to trust you and looks at you like his best friend and likes all your friends! Anyway good luck!!! OH but don't completely lose your cool when you talk make it calm and casual. Boys are difficult to talk to espically when you like them but act like you do when you're with your boyfriend or act like you're his friend. Anyway Good luck agian! Oh don't feel bad when you break up w/ current bf because hearts will be broken and you most likely weren't going to be together forever.Source(s): My personal recent experience
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- PrincipessaLv 51 decade ago
For asking the guy out, i'm old-fashioned. Talk to him but stop at asking him out. If he likes you 95% of the time he will ask you out. Take the edge off by not trying to pump yourself up to ask him out. Make yourself available, find a way to hang out with him, and get him to ask you.
For the breakup without breaking their heart question.... honestly breaking up is never really easy for either person. The longer the relationship, the harder it will be. If you just met the guy, decide it isn't working, etc. to break up "nicely" with them you just have to not say anything bad about them... like don't say "You're just not my type.. and your feet smell" say something more tactful like "I enjoy your company but I think we should just be friends"... you get the idea. It's never nice but it doesn't have to get too personal. For longer relationships there is usually going to be at least one broken heart, unfortunately.
- 1 decade ago
I don't know the answer for the first question. The second question,I think you can never break up with someone without breaking their hearts. Well Unless that person dosn't like you too.
- lupin_1375Lv 51 decade ago
As far as asking them out, be confident, even if you have to fake it. Confidence is sexy, shyness rarely is. If you fake confidence most people can't tell when you're doing it.
As far as breaking up with them, there is no real way to avoid "breaking their hearts". No matter how sweetly you say it or how many lines of bullcrap you give them, you're still breaking up with them. Respect their intelligence and emotional strength and just say something simple that says, basically, "I don't want to be with you anymore". Trying "not to hurt them" usually just makes them feel worse because what you're saying is "You're so emotionally fragile that I have to lie to you but luckily I think you're so stupid that it will work".
- 1 decade ago
To break up with someone you say. I like you very much, but this is not working out. I need a little time to think. To ask someone out just say... I really like you alot and i was wondering...if you did too. If not we can just be friends.