I'm being sexually harassed by a guy because he thinks it's funny and I want him to stop?
You see, i'm a 14 year old freshman in high school in one of the wrost schools in the state. It's a 80% black, 10% hispanic, 8% other and 2% white. I'm white.
Since day one i've been racially called names and then when I meet a nice guy to talk to, another guy then starts harassing me asking me if i'm f*cking him and such. I ignore it then it escalates toward me saying obecence things about me. Now, I told my teacher and she is like "Get used to it", my mom and i tried to file a police report but, we have to go to the school's officer cause he's with the police and it's a school issue. Hasn't got back to us yet. I'm afraid it's going to get worse and i'm depressed enough already. Does anyone else know what I can do?
Well, the everyone just mentioned ignore it too. They don't believe what i'm saying is true or they just ignore me. There is no other school for me to go too since it's just as worse and they are all Catholic schools. My mom went through all this and she read all this and told me. I guess I will have to deal with the abuse until it does get worse so i would have more evidence to build up against him. I snap back a bit of obesence things myself because if i speak intelligently they wouldn't understand me.
Actually, I live in Illinois and I went to a good public school (but the people were absoulute b*tches.) My town doesn't have a public high school so I have to go to school in the next town and it's mostly people from "the ghetto" rest are the same but catholic or it's 8k a year
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
First thing is that you are dealing with a guy trying to demean a woman. It may also be a case of the guy looking for someway to stand out. He can only do that if you let him. If your emotions are on your sleeve it will escalate. The racial thing is another layer. You have to cut through the crap and find other women facing the same treatment you are facing or people that sympathize with you. I'm sure you have friends that are "ethnic," right? other than white? If you don't, you're playing right into the racial thing and isolating yourself. That allows you to be further victimized. Look around you and you will find nice black people you can relate to, nice hispanic people you can relate to, etc. Besides being another facet of school, learning about other people, having friends,these people can help you stop the harassment you are facing.
The next thing is that you can't show this guy that what he is saying bothers you. You either be strong and tell him to f*ck off or you act like you can care less. He keeps doing it because it gives him the impression he has some power over you if he gets a reaction.
Now, the specifics of how you deal with this are more familiar to you than me, but in general, you need to make sure as many people as possible know what an assh*le this guy is. Definitely take this from your peers on up... parents, teachers, administrators, police. Definitely make communication official in letters and phone calls, keep notes, etc.
Other answers to your question give good advice on howto take it toadministrators.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You should never let anyone intimidate you or put you in a state that effects you either physically, mentally, or psychologically. If the school is not upholding to a standard of "decency" that all people in our great nation should have then you have a very good reason to not only prosecute the person who is harrasing you but the school itself. I recommend that if the school is not helping you in any fashion and your teacher continues to say "Get used to it" that you do the following:
1) Go back to the school one more time, including going to the top of the chain (Principal, etc) and explain your situation and request compensation or some degree of protection or reprimanding of the guy that is harrassing you. While you do all this I would secretly get an audio tape recorder (one of those small ones) and record every conversation you have with school officials. If any of them are "lack a daisacal" and/or irrationally careless of your situation you will have that on tape.
2) If step 1 does not resolve the situation and you have them caught on tape I recommend you go to a third party entity such as your local police as well as rights abuse organizations such as the Amnesty International or a local HRW (Human Rights Watch) building and report your cases to both the police (file abuse against the individual and negligence and abuse of authority on the school if you'd like to) through them.
3) If you can't afford a lawyer the law can get you one. If you got your evidence and proof there is a good chance you could win a settlement against the school and recieve compensation for them. Maybe a private scholorship (them forced to pay via the state/county/city, etc decision) to another school.
If number 1 doesn't work, go onto 2 & 3..Hopefully your school has rational officials that understand the children in the 21st century and will help you out sufficiently.
That's what I'd do. NEVER LET ANYONE THREATEN OR INTIMIDATE YOU IN ANY FASHION. My opinion, goodluck!
- The Answer ManLv 51 decade ago
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately, the rules that schools live by give more rights to the perp than the victim. You are in a very difficult position, because if you report it the bad guys are going to hear of it and make it more difficult for you. I think the only real solution is for you to immediately find another school. I cannot see any value in staying because it will not change the bad people. Is there any way to transfer to another school? If not, check into home schooling. It is difficult to get everything set up and running, but it will give you the isolation you need from these people.
I really ache to think of the awful tension you must be under. I sincerely hope you can find a way to leave. Please let me know what you actually decide to do as I will put you on my prayer list and pray that you find the solution and peace in the process. Good luck. firstname.lastname@example.org
- Anonymous4 years ago
Tell him very firmly that if he touches you again he'll regret the day he was born, and when he does it again kick him in the "family jewels" as hard as you can, call the police and say he tried to rape you, because what he's doing is a sexual battery, If your under 18 I'd tell your parents whats going on also a councilor at school can make this idiots life a living hell, if you don't have pepper spray handy use regular hair spray and blast it into his eyes if he touches you again, give his "jewels" a good kick and have his sorry butt locked up! NO MEANS NO!!!!!!
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- roseyLv 71 decade ago
I used to teach courses on sexual harassment, and by law, no one can be harassed or discriminated against. This is what you need to do: The police are not going to be any help in this matter since this is a 'civil' and not a 'criminal' case. You need to write everything that has happened to you down, including dates if you can remember the dates.
This is also very important: You also need to write down the whole conversation between you and the teacher. You took your first step in notifying the school that you were being sexually harassed, which she did not handle as she should have. If she had been worth a grain of salt, she would have immediately referred you to the principal or the guidance counselor.
I don't know how long ago that you went to the school officer, but it sounds if the deadline for him/her to have gotten back to you has long passed. Did the school officer give you a copy of your complaint? If this person did not, your parent needs to call him/her on Monday morning and request a copy of it and ask when will this issue be resolved. If the person refuses to give her a copy of the complaint, your Mom should not say anything more. She will need to also write down the conversation she had with this person, including the day is.
The next thing that you and your parent need to do is contact the board of education in your district, take a copy of the document that I have told you to write to them, but do not give them a copy of the document you mother will write. You save that copy. I would give them up to 14 days to give you a response.
If you have not received a response within the 14 day period, then your parent needs to contact an attorney, take all the documentation to whatever attorney you have chosen, and I promise you action will definitely be taken. You have a case as it is, especially since in this case you are in a minority. Nobody has to or should have to put up with unwanted behavior of another person that is sexual or discrimatory in any way. Thankfully, the people who we elect agree with this. If you or your parent would like additional information, just IM me.
This literally boils my blood and I can't wait for the boy to be dealt with. I am sure that he will regret EVER running his mouth to you. Try not to lose your temper and remember he is going to get what is coming to him. Good luck to you and your family, sweetie.
- 1 decade ago
Option 1: Go and Go and Go and Go and Go and Go etc to school admin until they do something about it just to get you off of their backs. In other words make a pest of you self. You and your mother call the Principal, your teacher, this school officer etc at home and don't stop until they do their job.
Option 2, If that doesn't work go to the media, go to school board meetings etc. In other words, if necessary embarrass them into doing their jobs.
Option 3. If the first two don't work. SUE. See a story about that below.
Option 4, If possible handle this the way my sister once handled a smilier issue at work...punch the punk in the face.
BUT WHATEVER YOU DO...DO NOT GIVE UP AND TAKE THIS CRAP.
Where I live a TEACHER faced a similar situation. She was went to the Principal of the her school and they told her to just suck it up and take it. She sued and won over $300,000
- WisdomwomanLv 41 decade ago
If the situation isn't fixed by going to the school officials and it is untolerable, another option may be to home school. You need to check your state laws regarding homeschooling to do it legally.
At your age, you can do most of the work on your own. They have several great programs out there. One of them is Switched on Schoolhouse. Of course, there are so many options for homeschoolers. And if you are doing course work on level and/ or above, you may even possibly be able to dual enroll at a community college by the time when you turn 16.
Just an option.
- 1 decade ago
if the school officer hasn't gotten back with you in a day, not counting the holidays, then you go back to the police station and file a report. If they say no, you have to talk to the school officer first, then say you want to speak to their supervisor because you have tried that and he has not gotten back to you and now you want to file a complaint against him unless something is done asap. Tell them you feel your life is in danger. Police cannot send you away like that. They just don't want to do the work. IF the supervisor won't do it, then tell them you are going to the mayor/supervisor of the city/township and the media.
- 2007Lv 51 decade ago
I feel for you, I was in the situation in high school where it was basically okay for these things to happen to you since you are white. You need to press this issue and take it to the school board and if they do nothing, make a point and sue them. Check into some other local schools as well and try to transfer... contact state officials or who you need to in order to get this done. If the government wants to order kids to school then the government has the duty to protect them in school!!
- LeafyLv 61 decade ago
First of all, I don't appreciate you saying that it's a bad school because of the races. However, it is a bad school with guys always wanting to get in your pants and girls always wanting to degrade you. Even if you would get in trouble for it, sometimes a good old-fashioned bee-atch slap is the only thing that'll shut those boys up. When the school officer comes down to get you, ask him why he wasn't doing anything about all of those people harassing you.