Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Told boyfriend I just want us to be friends and he hasn't called me since?

I told him I heard that a certain circle of females approached me and said that he said that I'm a whore(because they really did tell me this),so I got really mad and offensive(I have to respect myself),so i called him and told I just want him and me to be good friends and explaining to him all the hurt he caused me in our *past*(biggest mistake I know) and about those comments the girls told me.So the the next day i thought it over and told myself that those girls could've made it up,so I called to his number and he didn't answer or hasn't called me ever since.To tell you the truth I know in my heart that he really did have something real for me,because he showered me with affection,his time,caring,and really loving.I let my anger get to my actions,AS USUAL,but this time I let it drive me to do something really regretful.So why would he not get back at me,or should I just wait and see if all he's wanting is space?

Update:

"A pissed off but open-minded Chicana"

-a quote

Update 2:

THIS HAPPENED A WEEK AGO

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You know, guys have feelings, too. In fact, more so than it appears. If he really had something real for you, the things you told him may have hurt his feelings. Anger and offensiveness as well as an expression of lack of trust may hurt a guy's feelings and the relationship. How did he respond?

    If he just listened to you and said ok, he might as well have really done it and learned from this experience. Maybe the style of this communication was too pressing for him or he didn't know what to say. As a result, he might have been overwhelmed and therefore didn't say anything.

    On the other hand, if he tried to explain you that he didn't do or mean it or something like that, then either he regrets it and wants to make up for it, or he really didn't do it.

    In either case and in the "being overwhelmed" case above, his feelings might have got hurt. This seems to have happened all at once. And/Or, he might just want to be calm for a while after this stressful event. In that case, him calling you back again means (to him) risk of getting into stressful talks and arguments with you, which would be too much to take in. He wants to relax and not get into such trouble again (at least for a while). Besides his feelings, it is a little luck and a little how you approach him again (better gently and in an understanding & caring way; you want to rebuild the broken rapport and trust with him) that will determine whether your relationship can recover. Still, he may need some time to relax. So, I wouldn't call him too much too soon. What you can do is work on what you would tell him when he calls you back. You want to talk about this before anything else with him. This has the top priority when he calls you back (or you call him again.) And if you feel anger could get into your way, maybe work on that too (determine how you feel when what happens, think about it and write it clearly. Then ask yourself "why?" and you may just find a belief that is not true in the grounds of your anger. Then, you can change that belief and eliminate the anger). Good luck!

    Source(s): myself, as a guy. Relationships is one of the topics I am interested in and actively develop myself (I read, listen to others, think, derive, and apply). I also have a minor degree in psychology.
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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, you heard a rumor and without really talking to him about it, you broke up with him. Who do you really trust more, these friends or him? Your actions say that you trust them and not him. How is he supposed to respond to that?

    Why is he not contacting you? You believed a rumor and blamed him for something that he might not have done. You broke up with him and while you did you also brought up the past. When someone who you really care about and love (like you claim he felt about you) does those things, it hurts a lot and you begin to question if you really do love or care for this person.

    Yes, I think that he needs some time but don't be surprised if he doesn't want to get back together with you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to give him space. Put yourself in his position. Hypothetically, some of his boys told him that you called him a player, and that he flirts with too many other girls. He believes them and calls you up, and tells you it's over because of what these other dudes told him, and how you treated him in "the past". By the way, you have no clue what he means by "the past", because you've always been there for him. Obviously, you're hurt, because you care about him a lot, and you're mad at the fact that he didn't trust you and believed some other people without asking you about it first. I suggest that you keep calling him and try to do something to make it up to him, because you jumped to conclusions waaay too early. You're in the wrong, not him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    a, in a relationship never ever jump to conclusions espically in highschool/ jr high. because rumors spread faster than wild fire and you can notttt always believe what you hear espically from girls, and i being one, know that for a fact. because if a girl likes a guy who has a boyfriend, then shell do anything to get him. maybe not just because she likes him but just to prove that she could. and when you say to a guy lets just be friends, he knows that s typical break up line. when i broke up with my long term boyfriend and i really did want to be friends with him, i made the first 'move' buy just texting or send him messages or seeing him in the hall ways and asking him what was up? how his family was? how his day was? ect. and eventually him and i would talk for a while. and he came to me with relationship problems and everything was fine. good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yeah, it was PROBABLY a rumor or something. But if he's really all that you said he is (loving, caring, etc.), then he'd call you or something, or just accept your offer of being good friends. Just don't ever believe things you hear from other people about what your own loved ones say about you. The best thing to do in such a case is to confront your loved one if he/she really said what the others claim he/she did. If you really wanna be with him, call him again and again and when he answers, tell him it was all because of a probable rumor and that you're really sorry you believed them. Hopefully, he'll understand.

    Best of luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    He wants a romantic relationship. He doesn't want to be just friends.

    Can you blame him?

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  • 1 decade ago

    it sucks but we learn from our mistakes think before you speak

    Source(s): noggin
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    some boyfriend.

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