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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Is 3 months too soon to be talking about marriage? And are we possibly to young as well?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three months. We've known each other since elementary, and were reunited in high school as freshmen. We are sophmores in high school. It is both of our first relationship. We love each other more then anything eles. We have many things in common but along with wonderfull diffrences. We respect each other and have the same goals in life. Both of us can't imagine being with any other person. We are both willing to work for the relationship. Everything seems perfect, but could there be somthing eles I'm missing? People seem to think it's just puppy love and were not really serious but we are. It feels right to us. But could we be wrong?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You could be wrong or you could be right. When it comes to love, there are no answers that would apply to everyone 100%. 3 months may be too soon for some people, while it may seem reasonable for others. And, when it comes to age some people in their 30s may not be "ready" for marriage while some are quite ready at 18. Ultimately, the person(s) making the decisions will have to decide for themselves what is right for them.

    I also think that if love is TRUE love then there should really be no rush to prove it or to define it by a rite such as marriage. With a paper or without a paper your love for each other is still there, right? And in 2, 3, 5, or even 10 years, your love for each other will still be there right? So, why rush it? After all, in time TRUE love tends to grow stronger not weaker. What have you got to lose?

    Being a mom of a child who will be a sophomore at age 15, I certainly wouldn't want her discussing or seriously thinking of marriage at that age. At 15, I want her to be thinking about school, friends, dating, music, movies, and most importantly what she wants to do for herself when she gets older. Be it college or whatever. I want her to live for herself--find out who she is--who she wants to be without any constraits including a husband and possibly even children. Of course, I can't control her future, but if I could I would want her to be happy alone and to be comfortable doing things for herself before she tries to be live happily everafter with someone else. Too often we try to have all our life's unknowns and questions answered before we even give ourselves time to live. And, many times things like love and being in love may present themselves to us before we are ready and we feel that we have to act on them. Thing is we don't. We have a right to not act on things. We have a right to stand back and let things unfold naturally and to wait for a time when we are ready for things to happen in our lives. We have a right to not rush our lives.

    Now, you say that everything seems perfect, but are wondering that there could be something else you are missing?? It seems to me that somewhere in your mind you are not ready for marriage. You also say that people seem to think that it is just puppy love. It may be puppy love, it may not be puppy love. The only way to know which of the two it really is, is to allow your love time to grow. If it doesn't grow and it may not, then it was probably puppy love and while it will hurt to let it go that will probably be the best thing that you can do. Now, if it does grow, then you and he will have this wonderful love that has stood the "test of time." How great is that? It is the most wonderful thing in the world--that I can guarantee you. It will be a love that allows you to grow and to be who you want to be. It will be a love that allows you to be there for each other through thick and thin. It is a love that goes beyond definition and that could never be defined by a paper or a ring or anything. It will be a liberating love--one where you can be you and he can be himself and you both can dream your dreams and work together to fullfill those dreams. It will be a love you won't be afraid to lose. Why? Because neither he or you plan to abandon that love. And, It will be a love that just "is."

    I was once a teenager in love who became engaged. It didn't work out, but then that is my story and not necessarily yours. I eventually found my true love in my early twenties. For some people that my be too young, but I knew that it was true, because I didn't have any doubts and because I never felt the need to rush into any type of commitment including marriage. I knew that no matter what we would always be together. It hasn't been perfect and, to be honest, sometimes it has been down right tough, but we continue to stay together, because we both know that what we have is real. When you have something that is real, you will just know. It is as simple as that.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't really know you or your boyfriend, so I'm not going to be the one to tell you to or not to get married. Every once in a while you hear about couples who met in middle school, waited until they were older, and then married and are happy together 40 years later. It's extraodinary to hear these stories, but they are definitely the minority. A lot of people find themselves in your position and get married right out of high school as well, and sadly the majority of those relationships don't work out. I think you'd probably rather avoid divorce if at all possible, so I just had an idea. If you two really love each other (and I'm not doubting that you do), you'd be willing to wait a little while for each other, right? Well, how about holding off the engagement and wedding until after your done your post secondary schooling? That will give you time to further get to know each other and see if you really think you're right for each other. I'd say that if in like a year and a half you still feel the same about each other, the feeling must be real. I know you probably don't want to wait that long, but honestly, only time can tell in scenarios like this. I really hope it works out for you guys! and happy New Year!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Trust me on this one if you two are only in High School, you all are too young. Both of you will grow and change in the years to come. Both of you will not be the same people 2 or 3 years from now, even as young adults, your careers and interest may change. Just wait till you get everything else together first, set the foundation for the bright future you both have ahead of you then you can get married. You all have a lot of time and if you love each other you will be together married or not.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Don't worry too much. Since you have been committed to each other for 3 months, and you are still in school, take little more time to prepare your future first. The most important is both of you having common to work your relationship out. There is priority in life.Studying should come to the first for now. As long as the true love is there, nothing can stop your relationship to grow. Then in reality, a better future needs a very strong foundation, which takes lots of your effort.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think your both too young to be thinking about marriage, concentrate on a long term relationship instead. If you make it through High School and college together, then your meant to be. So for now, enjoy getting to know each other and spending time together. Remember, marriage is NOT easy so just enjoy your youth and don't do anything that can stall your life in the future like having kids.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You should wait it out. I think three months is too soon to be talking marriage, even if the two of you had a history. I suggest you wait until at least 18 to make that choice. What you think you want today maybe different from what you want tomorrow or a year or two from now. I honest don't think one can really make an inform decision until they are at least 18. I am not aganist this in any way. I just think that there shouldn't be a problem with you guys waiting it out at least a year or two more...after another year or two won't hurt...that way you can see how the two of you handle things.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You guys could be the incredibly lucky few that finds love young, however having said that, it's still wise to wait out abit before jumping head on about marriage.

    You're still in the "rediscovering" stages of being reunited again. Give it somemore time before thinking about a lifetime commitment. After all, if it's true love, then it'll wait and he'd be there.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I believe that you truly feel like you are in love and want to get married. The problem is.....you are still very young. Set goals for yourself and achieve them. Find yourself first. Become independent. Marriage is where two people become one. Are you truly ready to to do that? First love is very difficult. You feel like you will die without that person. Then another person comes along....and the feelings come again. Keep yourself open for all possibilities. If it was meant to be....then why not wait and see where you will be in 5 years.

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  • kp
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes, 3 months is way too soon to be talking about marriage and you're way too young. Since you're only high school sophomores, you have 2 & 1/2 more years before you graduate. If you’re still together when you graduate, then discuss marriage.

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  • 1 decade ago

    personally my dear --if you really think its love then it will only get stronger with time --and by that l mean wait till you have both graduated from high school . give your selves some time to save for the things you want in life . and if after that you both still feel the same then go for it , one piece of advice though -- don't allow yourself to get caught up in having children with in that time , because then you'll never really know -- now will you ?

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