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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

i dont know how to make friends.. =( really i have a hard time doing so...?

Im 19 years old. I have a boyfriend of 2 years and he always tells me i shoudl have friends that i can hang out with and talk to. But i dont know how. ever since elementary school who i thought were my friends would alwasy talk behind my back and everything. even through high school. My bf and I are in our sophmore year of college and I still have not made any friends yet. I just dont knwo how to. I am shy so i know that's a problem. also my parents divorced when i was younger and they fouhgt alot throughout the years. So i have a very difficult time trusting people. I dont want to open up to people cause i cant trust them. I have peopel at work who i enjoy talkign to and sometimes hang out with them.I dont know if they are considered "friends" though .they always tlak abotu how they are going ot the movies and everything but i am never invited.. i always want to ask but i think it is rude to invite yourself. is it?

I jus dont knwo how to make friends. any books or advice?


i konw him being my only "soicial outlet" is not a healthy thing cause if we ever broke up i would be all alone..

sorry for my spelling

i just dont knwo how to make friends? i have never had a true friend other than my boyfriend. he is my best friend.

Update 2:

i am a very nice and caring person.. i am just shy

sometimes that leads me to be walked allover on and taken advantage of though..

i have just always had bad experiences with having friends...ever since elementary school

Update 3:

i am always nice and friendly to people. my bf says i shoul go to counseling/therapy cause the things abotu my dad still bother me and it took me a LOOONG time for me to trust him (my bf) ...

is it rude to invite yourself to places if you hear a bunch of peopel talking if they are going to go to eh movies or something?

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I had the sam prob...and my dad gave me this book to read!


    Its to it slowly with applying it.then after uv applied it once in ur life then move to the next!

    best of luck!

    Source(s): My Life!
  • 1 decade ago

    Are there any groups you could join through your school or in the community surrounding your school? Try to come up with some activities you are interested in, even if it something like a crafting class at a local craft store, or a running group if you like to run. By participating in a group or club, you could meet people that you hold specific interest with. Also, do not rush things, good friendships may take a little time to develop because you are not the only person that may have trouble trusting others. If you join a group or club and after a few weeks it does not look like you have a connection with anyone, try a new group. The main thing is to get out around a variety of people where you will have some interaction.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, I have the same trouble. Ever since I know myself as person, I just cant make ''real friends'', they always disapoint me talking trash in my back and not inviting me to movies, restaurants and stuff. I dont know why is so hard. Sometimes I think if I will ever have a true friend who understands me and will be with me on the good and bad times. Those so called ''friends'' are just with you in the good times and when the bad times come they just leave me hanging. At least you have your boyfriend, I have nothing. I'm really alone, I consider myself a good person, I know how to really keep secrets, If I had a real friend and that friend needed me I wouldn't think even 1time, I would be right there for my friend when it is needed to. Hopefully, you are the 1st person who understands this feeling and maybe we can talk more to know each other better. If you don't trust what I'm saying, its allright, I understand you, but if you really want to want to start having a good friend and maybe a best friend, dont think twice and write back. I'll be waiting for your letter. By the way, My name is carla, I'm in highschool, and almost doing 15 years old, I just hope that the age wont come in between. Like i'm younger, I hope you dont feel shy to try to be my friend and loose an oportunity of meeting someone.

  • 1 decade ago

    The “problem” is you are a very good, intelligent, caring, sensible person. And people like you have that problem, because the World is full of selfish, insensible, mean people. IS THAT SIMPLE! Don’t envy people that have “friends”, because most probably they are not TRUE FRIENDS. Yes, it is sad, but is certainly not your fault. Just keep doing what you think it’s right and be proud of yourself.

    TAKE CARE!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds like the divorce has really messed with u. The thing is that not all friends "talk behind eachothers backs". In fact, if they do, they aren't friends. Go to events u like and stuff like that so u can meet people that like things u do.

  • linzey
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    i became as quickly as interior the comparable situation. I pushed virtually all of my acquaintances away because of the fact I in basic terms had to spend time with my boyfriend. Are you a jealous person? i became, and while you're as nicely, it would desire to be that when you start to get on the brink of your acquaintances and because you hold close out with your boyfriend as nicely, you're able to start to experience threatened and experience that he might get thoughts for them? if it is the case, it would desire to alright stem from the undeniable fact which you have been "stabbed interior the back", to apply your very own words, with the aid of your former acquaintances. the only thank you to recover from this, in my opinion, is to distance your self to a definite degree out of your boyfriend. shop telling your self that i would be effective if he does not want to be with me. and you will replace right into a plenty extra suitable person. playstation - i'm now married to my extreme college sweetheart of 15 years (i'm 28 now), and that i've got comprehensive believe in him and my friendships on the instant are so relaxing, and that i comprehend that they are going to final continuously. i'm hoping you journey them as nicely.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just b friendly,polite manner n' nice 2ppl. I'm sure they will b ur friends.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should go talk to some people that are of your kind. Carry on a normal conv. and then go from there

  • m c
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Boo hoo!! good story, but I do not believe a word you are saying. You say one thing, then something else later. Try again, this story has to many lies in it.

  • 1 decade ago

    just try to talk to people and never forget to be who you truly are...

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