first time meeting a girl for marriage, in an arranged marriage situation, what i should ask her?
your small advice make my life more beautiful.
i am an indian, and after 1 week i will meet a girl for marriage.she is coming from usa, basically she is from gujrat and live in usa from last 3 years, this is my first time, i am so narvous, coz i am very shy boy and generally not talking with girl,and another prob is that i don't know her language very well, there is only one common language between us and that is our mother tongue. what should i do?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
i know this may be difficult to ask, but is it possible for you to spend some time with this girl before the marriage and speak with her privately in a comfortable setting. Start with the pleasantries [ like how are you..etc], and then ask her personally what does she think of the marriage. Is it all her parents doings or she had a say in it too? what does she think of you? what are her dreams for the future - do they consist of being with you and raising a family or something else? do you know this girl? do you know anything else about her - besides the fact that she resided in the U.S for a few years. Find about her interests and ask her opinions in several other topics - whether it be world topics or controversial...anything so that you can see what type of person she is. and if her answers satisfy you .... then i wish you all the best. but keep in mind that a hasty marriage is one of the worst mistakes anyone can make. so be careful and it is okay to be picky when choosing a lifelong partner. i wish you all the best. good luck! Also, there is no problem in being shy...i think timidness is one of the best personality traits any person can have and i see no problem in speaking in your native tongue- it is a blessing to speak in another language besides english these days.
- gelflingLv 71 decade ago
Just relax. She will be as nervous as you are - probably more. Don't let anyone else pressure either of you into rushing anything. Your marriage is nobody else's business. Always be kind, respectful, and gentle, and you may learn to love each other, even if neither is truly happy about the marriage being arranged. Learn from this experience and let your future children choose their own mates whenever THEY feel ready.
I have an Indian friend whose parents were forced into an arranged marriage 35 years ago. They have tried to make the best of it, but it is obvious that they are mismatched and very unhappy. It makes me (and also their children) sad that they have spent al this time stuck with someone they didn't want to be with. I hope you will have better luck with your bride. See what she thinks about moving back to the United States and divorcing if it isn't a good arrangment, so you can both be free to find someone who will make you happy.
- Faerie loueLv 51 decade ago
I find it hard to believe that an American raised Indian girl would submit to the customary arranged marriage. However, if she has then just ask her what she thinks about it. Also ask her to teach you more English it will break the ice so to speak and give you some mutual goal to work on and more can grow from this. I'm sure it will provide allot of fun an laughter, we can all relate to that! It's universal! Good Luck and Congratulations. Happy New Year!!
- Monsieur RickLv 71 decade ago
If she has been here for 3 years, has she assimilated to the United States or is she still existing within the framework of your culture. If she has assimilated to the social and cultural norms of the US, she will be more a stranger than she is to you now. The United States does not forbid arranged marriages, but the majority of people do not endorse or feel that such a tradition is healthy for two people.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
It's hard for me to comment because I've never been, and probably will never be in the same situation as you.
All I can say is be yourself. I'm a shy person too, but try to open up to her as much as you can, especially because you will be spending the rest of your lives together.
Remember, she's probably as nervous as you are!
Ask questions about anything, from her family to her personal interests, and even from past jobs to insightful questions.
Good luck! I know things well go well for you!
- 1 decade ago
Just be yourself. Since it is an arranged marrage, she has to go through with it. Treat her as an equal and ask her questions to get to know her. You will be spending your lives together so try to find out what she is like. I'm sure she is scared too. Do your best to make her feel comfortable.
- zara01Lv 41 decade ago
Well you could ask her about her interests. Ask her what she likes to do for fun. Ask her about where she lives. Just try to get to know her. If it's an arranged marriage then she really can't go anywhere so just try to be nice and get to know her. Happy New Year. And congratulations.
- Dorothy and TotoLv 51 decade ago
If she's lived in the USA for 3 years, you're in a world of hurt, my friend. Best of luck.
- 1 decade ago
Well I would ask her simple things like what you do.What interests you and look for some thing common and just start talking about it .Sorry if this does not help but YOU CAN DO IT !!!
:) good luck
- 1 decade ago
Wow...do you really have to marry a girl you dont even know? I guess the cast thing still exists. My best advise is to be yourself. If she doesnt like you for who you are..hell dont marry her.