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Dad is cheating. What should I do?

My Mom recently informed me that he has been cheating while I was away at school. I always thought my Dad was the most honest and trustworthy man on earth, I looked up to him, but now...

I don't really know what to do. I feel it's not really my business anymore, I'm off at college, and as long as he pays for everything I'm not really complaining. I'm worried about my mom though. She doesn't seem worried and told me she won’t confront my Dad about it. Should I respect my Mom’s wishes or confront my Dad about the situation myself?

21 Answers

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  • Nette
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Leave it between your mom and dad. I can't understand why you were put in the middle of it anyway. You shouldn't have to choose sides or even be involved with it. If she chooses to not comfront him then that's a decision she mad. They know more of the situation than you do, and it's their battle. I'm sure your dad still loves you the same.

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  • If your dad is really cheating, why won't your mom confront him, but tell you instead? Could it be that she's jealous of your relationship with him? Normally, when a man cheats, the woman's first reaction is usually to bean him with a frying pan, you know? The fact that your mom is not worried about his supposed cheating, won't confront him, but tells you would indicate that there's more going on here than meets the eye. Is your mom depressed, or unhappy with her life, maybe even more now that you're away at college? Maybe you could talk to your dad, without telling him what she said, and find out what might be going on. Sure sounds like she's trying to turn you against your dad, while gaining your sympathy in the process.

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  • sunny
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Face your Dad man to man and ask him what's going on. Let him know that you are not real happy with him for hurting your Mom. Don't even think about feeling guilty over this. It's not your fault in any way. There are a lot of things that go on in a marriage that the kids never really know about. This has been going on for some time. Things don't happen over night. Try to stay neutral as much as you can. Your finding out that your parents are just people. It's always a shock at first when you discover that. But nothing wrong with hearing your Dads side of what's going on.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She may be hoping it is a mid life crisis and will go away.

    You should confront him however and tell him exactly what you said about how you looked up to him and how it makes you feel towards him. The greatest thing a dad can do for his children is love their mother. If he doesn't want to be with your mom he should have the *alls to tell her. IF he still loves her he has no business cheating.

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  • John B
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Always respect your mothers wish. Never ever go against that.

    While you have come to now know your father is human after all the only person who is hurt here is your mother and until she decides to confront him you need to respect that.

    I do not know your mothers situation. But there is a good chance that the reason she has not done that is she has too much to loose. If she does not work she must rely on your father for support. To confront him about this means she must be ready to divorce him....even if she doesn't she must be ready for that.

    So don't rock her boat. She....and only she must do that.

    If you wonder why your mother brought this to you you may want to look at how many people she can talk to. You...being and adult and on your own.....even though her son.....may be the only safe place she can talk about it. Be there for her. She will need it.

    But what ever you do do not begin treating your father differently. It will be hard but if you do he may come to wonder why. That is between your mother and him only.

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  • virgin
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    What you should do is stay in touch with mom by phone as much as you can. She is being strong right now in front of you but she also needs her son to talk to during these sad days for her:(. Just call her and talk to her as much as possible while your away at college but try not to get involved. Im so sorry for ya man, no one deserves to go through something like that

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  • 1 decade ago

    If you can talk with your dad as a friend,in good manners,not angry,then you can talk with him.You can say: Dad can I ask a question,and you say: I know you have another woman,what is happening between you and my mother?.or you can stay out of the problem,but help,and be close with your mother always.It is indeed a tough situation.Think logic,do not put your feelings in the problem,and select the best way to face this situation.Good luck.

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  • lynda
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    wow thats a tough situation to be in.You respect your mother, but at the same time you need answers to ease your mind of the situation. I would say you have to give this some very serious thoughts before you make a decision, and in the end do what makes you feel ok with your decision...Remember one thing..they both love you . good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your mom shouldn't have brought you in to it.

    Stay out of it. If your dad really did it (is doing) then the day may come when he brings the topic comes up. That will be the time to discuss it with him and honestly tell him how you feel.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You're an adult now, and frankly, what goes on in their marriage is really none of your business. Your mom shouldn't have even told you, especially if she's not planning on doing anything about it. So, love them both, but stay out of their relationship... and tell your mom it's none of your business if she brings it up again. Don't let her catch you in the middle.

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