I am almost 30 and life is not what I expected it to be. How do I change it around?

29 single, professional job I love but not many true freinds and no man even as a prospect

19 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's all in the way you see it! Maybe you should redefine your meaning of success and what you think life ought to be like. You obviously focused a lot on your career and your efforts have paid off; now you should focus on the areas that you feel need work and they will improve too!

  • s. m.
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    When I was your age I was married and miserable. I chose my mate poorly and my life was not what I expected it to be either at age 30. You have wisdom now that a 24 year old woman does not have! You are now ready to choose well. If you really think about it you only need one true friend so don't measure your success in quantity but in quality. As for prospects...what about doing volunteer work for an organization that would have men in your age group? Join a church or synagogue and get involved in a class with others your age. You have to get out there and let these men see how wonderful you are. There are lots of professional men that have been so busy with their careers in their 20's and early 30's that are now ready to settle down. You will do fine but it is up to you to determine your future.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sit down and really think how you'd like it to be different. What do you want: more friends, to meet interesting men, to develop new hobbies and activities outside of work?

    Then brainstorm ways in which to accomplish those things. If you have current interests, look for a group or club where other people with the same likes go to gather. You might not only make a new female friend or two, but meet a guy (or your new female friends might know a guy!).

    Expanding your horizons socially is one way. Volunteer your time, if you can manage, somewhere where you agree w/the cause: a food pantry, animal shelter, whatever.

    Putting yourself into new situations and environments will make a difference. The more people you meet, the better off your chances of changing your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey..I was in the same boat as you were at 30, I am now 33. I listened to a female coworker of mine and she told me, that no matter how mondane,boring,unsatisfied you may be with your life,you need to remember that at an given second, something or someone may enter your life which will change it forever. Focus on your goals, do good onto others, stay positive, focus as hard as you possibly can, without getting obsessed or stressed out over things that may not change right away. Also, be happy and content with the good things that you may have going on in your life! Best wishes for your future! Tom

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  • 1 decade ago

    If this will make you feel any better about your situation, how would you like to be in my shoes and be a divorced 40 year old, not in a professional income and having to live back with parents to save up for a home, hopefully.

    It sounds like you have a clean slate. If you do, be glad. Sometimes, we have to just let nature takes it's course. What's mean to be, is meant to be.

    I thought the person I was married to would mature differently than expected and he ended up disappointing me too (for this reason, even though, finding true love is nice, maybe it's just not in my stars). I had an adorable son with him and he decided to stay with my ex., which I hate to say is better for him because of involvement in activities, better schools and around people of professional income.

    I envy you people that know what you want to do as a career in your younger years and get the education thing over with. At least you are holding your own and can do things that I would have to work two jobs to obtain. I have to think of ways to make money on the side, so I can put more in savings for a home. My parents are around social security age and I know it brings them pain to see me have pain in my life, so the best I can do is keep a positive attitude and stay busy as therapy. Yes, I do have a goal of finishing my Associates at least, so I can hopefully progress in a higher paying admin. position. I guess there is so much for me to work towards that I am not reacting like some people think I would for my situation.

    Do you have any thing that you want to work towards? By you having a professional income, you can travel on nice vacations on your own. I would love to be a person, in which, the responsibilities of a professional income, comes naturally without being worn out. Right now, my job comes pretty natural, but it's not what I call at a professional level of income.

    Can you handle going out and doing things by yourself? If you like to travel, maybe there's a group out there somewhere that likes to get together to do those things. As I said, I envy people that have professional incomes. I would be having a fun, with or without someone.

  • 1 decade ago

    You need supportive friends. Help you grow, expand and compete for nicer life. Make you a bigger person. If you work at some job that has a same responsibility, try to move up or something otherwise move on. When discussing your ideas to someone and hear negative response, go to someone else.

    Being almost 30, you ought to see that rest of the world everybody is competing to have nicer life.

  • zara01
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Join the club. I just hope by the time I turn 40 I will be closer to where I want to be. I'm thinking of taking some classes for fun. I would meet more people that way and it could be fun. I'm married and have children but I think I need a different job. Don't worry about it we are just hitting our quarter life crisis :) We'll snap out of it any time now :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Perhaps you have high expectation in a relationship. You may need to be a little realistic when comes to finding a life partner or a mate. Change yourself by being realistic. You need to check your attitude and the way your present yourself. Sometimes its things such as these that prevent others from getting near to you let alone know you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't worry about relationships so much, they can always be a pain, but yet can be real fun too, just enjoy yourself, get new hobbies, learn to go out on your own and try unusally things you never know you may enjoy the single life, from the constant nagging

  • 1 decade ago

    I hate to sound Church, but find a good church ( a good loving church) they are instant family. You can meet many people and get to talk to them. If you think there is something wrong with your personality, talk to someone and ask their honest opinion. Tell them your situation and ask them to be very honest. You are probably just a nerd like me and you are more comfortable with work, or machines or computers then you are people, and you have to learn to take more time with people. When we have big dreams, we tend to be more dissapointed the older we get.

    I've published a book, spoke in churches, have my own business and a great family, and I still feel like I haven't done anything.

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