What do the masses out there think of this poem?

just some improvements (please constructive)


how many beats has your heart skipped

these last few years?

as it takes every few seconds to murmur

secrets to your soul

each slight whisper, a narrow river greets an ocean

every fragile breath, a brush of wind kisses a canvas

and every word it speaks takes it toll upon your countenance

sewing lines throughout your features

stitching frowns onto your grin

it is an ailing feat to cry

when you mourn, your tears are famine

as somebody stole your weeping

grounds are naked, fountains dry

only a glimpse veils your passage

and a blind man walks forever

until reaching he who beckons him

in the echoes of your call

a beating drum keeps track of time

and no one cares as it break its cadence

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is very good it is deep and moving.

    It could be discribed as "emo" but I feel it is an unemotional discription of a persons walk through life or of life it's self.

    It is something the reader can relate to.

  • It's good, in future writings try to think more to a pattern.

  • 1 decade ago

    Its too emo.

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