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What do you do?

How do you forgive a spouse that you love dearly and feel the two of you were meant to be together after you discover that he/she broke their vows and has been sleeping with someone else and lieing about it for over a year? How do you trust them again after they've betrayed your trust when your entire relationship was built on promises that they would never do such a thing. Even after knowing all that you've been through with previous relationships? How do you move on from that, when in you mind, everytime he/makes sexual advances, you can see flashes of him doing that to someone else, but he's a minister and a youth pastor, a man of God. I really want to know if anyone really ever gets through such a thing and if so how? Because I really do have a desire to forgive and forget, but I don't know how.

7 Answers

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  • OC
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Men of God don't betray their wives for over a year. You can begin your forgiveness by first setting the titles straight.

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  • chieko
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You need to look at your marriage and decide if it is worth saving. Does your cheating partner want to stay in the marriage? Do you have kids?

    And then after weighing all those factors; yes you do move on. You make love to him because you love him; you have the view and perspective that you did nothing wrong, and you should try to enjoy your husband. Don't brush him off and make situation worse once you decide to stay with him.

    If he stayed then he loves you; yes he made a stupid mistake, remember, affairs are mostly about the fantasy, not the reality of a relationship. And if the girl knew he was married; then she is at much if not even more at fault for creating situations where he could cheat on his wife.

    Men are dogs; I hope you can keep your leashed in this time.

    Heres something though; you give him one chance, one, and if he cheats again; you know he is an insignificant person and you can do better.

    Your in my prayers and I hope the best for you and your marriage.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well I won't be too quick with the "betray" word, men are strange things...

    But anyway, if you wanna forgive and forget, you should first be ready to do that: are you OK with him having such 2 faced relationships with you ? are you OK with having to endure such doubts ? if so then you should forgive him, if not then you should forget him ( or "truly" win his heart, you choice )

    And yeah, "men of God" don't do such a thing ! but then again men are strange creatures

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  • 1 decade ago

    From personal experience, after the first time a person cheats, they are more likely to do it again. The ONLY way your marriage will survive is through counseling and lots of prayer....don't try to do it on your own. Your spouse needs to figure out why he cheated (there are many reasons why people cheat) and work from there.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Forgiveness is something that can happen anytime, anywhere. If you think that your spouse is not ever going to do it again and is going to be true and loyal to you from now on, then forgive them and give them another chance. Ask yourself how you would define forgiveness and tell your spouse how much it means to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am so sorry that happened to you. I know how you feel. My husband cheated on me 10 years ago. We are still together. You just have to ask yourself if you love him enough to work it out. Forgiveness is hard.But it may be worth it .Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i've been on the other end of that sitation and when i was forgiven it just made me feel like if he was stupid enough to take me back he had no respect for his self and deserved wht ever he got

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