When our children are in conflict is what we do, always really the best way to handle the situation ?
When conflicts occur take a step back & watch how you react. Our first impluse is to use authority, to exert control, to nip the fights in the bud. But honestly this doesn't teach children to work out their own differences, instead it teaches them to be totally dependant upon us to resolve their problems, and this dependance is taken into adulthood. Another reaction is to yell at them, "Stop Fighting!!" Rather than listening to see what their real needs are.
To sit back, in laziness is a pitfall in modern day family life. This laziness is the bored irritation that causes someone to yell without listening to attain the required information to help them solve their problems together. Rather than getting dragged into fights with our children,
stop, and mindfully listen, yes listen attentively!
It may be that some bickering gives them the chance to negotiate, and to work things out on thier own. It is o.k. to feel a little irritated.
Our children can teach us Patience & Love !!
- mizz_milk06Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Thanks for the advice!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
We should stop acting like children are small adults, and start treating abusive adults like large children.