Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

Can anyone relate: My ex husband is now married (for the last several years)?

and has a child by this new wife, he also has a kid by me.

Anyways, he and his new family live in ahuge beautiful new home, with an inground pool and trampoline, he has bought her a new bmw (she dont work) and he spoils his other kid like nothing. I mean this child is always dressed well, and has everything...and he is a good kid too, ugh.

Well whenever I drop my son off to his dads, I feel like **** because we live in a shithole basically and my kid doesnt ave a quarter of what my exes other kid has. My son always says its not fair, and I hate it.

I have nothing against his new wife cause she is actually alright and nice to my son, but I feel jealous and envious, becuase he has moved on and I havent. P[lus my kids life is nothing like his other childs, private school versus public you know. Can anyone relate??? How do you deal?

12 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can, not as much though. When my ex had another child he quit work to stay home with the baby for about 2 years. I couldn't get him to change our babies diaper or anything. I also agreed to no support cause we did joint custody. He was suppose to have her and provide for her half the time which didn't happen for a long time. I was mostly jealous of the attention my child had never gotten from him that his other child got though. He is by no means well off. I would look into more child support if he is not willing to provide for his first child like he does his second. He is still his child and though he should not have to buy you a big house, if he pays to send one to private school he should send the other as well. He should also make soure they are both dressed well, have cell phones, whatever. It should be equal on his part. He is just as responsible for one as the other, even if he don't live with him all the time or even 50% of the time. He can't say she helps to pay for their son's stuff if she don't work. I would tell him to start providing certain things for your kid, and if he refuses, take pictures of house, car,ect. Also find out how much he makes. Then take this info to court, and show them how differently his children live, and see if they won't give you more money. Your child deserves as much from his father as his other child does, weather or not your married.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, you have multiple issues. I understand the envoy especially when you see the new BMW and you car is probably older than your child. You need to remember that it is not the possessions that you have that determines the quality of your life. There are tons of screwed up rich kids. You need to do the very best you can for yourself and your child every day. Teaching God and values and self-worth are all independent of wealth or social standing. Be glad that your son still sees his father and can have a relationship with him. You need to foster this and encourage this even if it is at the cost of your pride. Perhaps you could talk to your ex about the benefits of sending your son to the private school too. As for the rest, a solid loving caring home is worth all the money in the world so you are already truly rich!

    Source(s): Easier said than done, but always try to do your best and keep focused on what is best for your son.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Explain to your son about how wealthy people have the same problems as anyone and are not any better off and that yes it isn't fair, life is not fair but if he wants to live that some day to study hard in school and go to college and he too can live like that but it won't make you any happier of your not already happy. Happiness is a choice. You can't control what happens to you, all you have is your reaction to what's around you. Look at all the filthy rich stars that are divorced and have drug problems etc. and can't get their personal life together.

  • 1 decade ago

    I liked the answer above about explaining that finances aren't everything. Rich people are no happier necessarily than people less well off, and in fact it can cause problems far more intense. How would you like to live Michael Jackson's life? Your worth, and your son's, should not be measured in dollars and possessions. I hope you take him to church so he can learn a higher cause.

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  • Batty
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Have you approached your ex about putting more effort in financial equality for the first born? Clothes, toys and school wise.

    And you you do need to move beyond this. Make a life for yourself that feels like it is yours and your childs'. Stop wanting what you don't have.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes i know how you feel about this, been there its hard but money really isnt everything and if he is doing as well as you say your son should have alot that he buys him off of child support. truth is it wont be ok until you move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    stop feeling sorry for your self and be a great mom try to tell your son that material things are not love and hugs and give him lots of love and hugs, tell his dad about how his son feels and that he is feeling left out.just keep showing that hugs and love are the real thing, and mom get going and move on stop looking back its obvious the dad did and you are dragging -

  • Is there a way you can get more support, or talk to the father about maybe how he is making the other kid alienated

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, i dont think that there is much that you could do unless you:

    1. Marry a rich man

    2.Get another or better job

    3.Work overtime everyday

    4.Make your boy get a job

    Sorry, there just aren't many options!!!

    Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Talk to your husband about your concerns for your child and see if he can do more...

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