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Bookworm asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Waitress commenting about appetite?

I recently took a friend out for lunch as she is moving away to start law school. We went to a small local restaurant where I had never been to before but my friend had.

I'm slender by body type as well as female and can't really gain weight--believe me I've tried. Anyway, I decided to have a steak as the food was Italian and I'm not really a big fan. I also just like steak.

The food was okay--and I finished most of it. My friend and I split a dessert and while we were waiting for the check a waitress (not ours) commented "You have a really great appetite!" I sort of nodded and smiled, but she didn't really leave until I said thank you.

My friend was rather weirded out and after reflection, so was I. What do you think might have been a more approrpiate way to handle that? I actually don't really intend on going back--the food wasn't worth the price and the our waitress was only so so anyway.

21 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You did the right thing, I've learned not to sweat the small things. She probably was surprised, you could eat that way and maintain a small figure. I'm the same way, most of the time people are envious. People would trade places with you in a heartbeat to have your metabolism.

  • 1 decade ago

    She may have realized that what she said was inappropriate and was waiting for a cue from you that you weren't angry, which is why she left when you said thank you.

    I don't think there is an appropriate response; you don't want to get into an argument when she probably didn't mean anything harmful. She was probably just surprised that someone as slender as you can eat so much. You handled yourself fine; if you wanted to send a message that you were annoyed, you could have left her a smaller tip or no tip at all.

  • 1 decade ago

    My husband and I both have had Gastric Bypass surgery and when we go out to eat I hate trying to explain why we don't eat much. Sometimes the waitress will comeover with a worried look on her face because she thinks that we didn't like the food. Believe me, after being in food service myself for 20 years I would not have a problem telling them if the food was bad.

  • JC
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If you were heavy, then it would have been considered an insult. But since you arent and you seemed to have eaten well, I think she was trying to make it a compliment. Kinda like, you eat so much yet still look great. I personaly dont feel commenting on a womans appetite, big woman or small, is a tactful thing to do. No woman wants to hear about how much she can eat no matter how its phrased.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Some people are just really weird and don't know how to react to different body types. I'm big and I've had waitresses give me sidelong glances when I ask for rich or fatty foods. She probably didn't mean anything by it. Or else she's a sociopath and needs to be locked away....

  • She was giving you a compliment. Where does this idea come from that women are supposed to eat like birds and weigh 90 lbs.??

    If a person has a good appetite, it means they are healthy and enjoy their food. It's a good thing. The waitress meant nothing mean at all by that. She was in fact, trying to compliment you.

    Don't give it a second thought.

  • 1 decade ago

    Isn't that what restaurants are for, to bring our appetites? There is nothing wrong with the way you handled this situation, you remained polite even though the waitress was out of line.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    How weird! I'm a waitress and I wouldn't say that to anyone in fear that I might offend someone, get fired, or not have them return. That was none of her business. I wouldn't have left a tip! And I'm big on tips, but that is weird! Don't go back or find out if they have comment cards and you could fill one out.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What's to handle?

    Someone commented that a slender woman had a healthy appetite. You're reading too much into it, especially for someone that doesn't intend to return to the restaurant.

  • mom
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    As a former waitress I can tell you that some people get offended or irritated at almost anything you say.

    She was just trying to be light hearted and didn't mean any harm.

    Don't be so sensitive it is a hard world out there.

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