Can little white lies destroy a relationship?
If one person in the relationship is continuously telling little white lies, is that a sign for disaster? Could they just be trying to avoid confrontation or protect the other person in so way, or is this a sign of some bigger lying problem to build in the future?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I've been married for 17 years and my husband has told me alot of little white lies. He says he does that to avoid an argument with me because when I argue, I really argue. But, that's wrong to lie now because of those little white lies given in the name of keeping peace, I don't trust him. I would rather be hurt by the truth than lies at least then I can say hey, well at least I can trust him to tell me the truth. Like well, if I'm a ***** so tell me to my face I blow up in your face well that's the way it goes. When we first got married I didn't want him to remain in church choir because he also was soccer coach, soccer ref. and always wanting to go to his blood (my in-laws) well it was a tug-o-war all the time. He had told me our first year of marriage that he quit choir then I found out from a friend of his who's also our dentist, that instead of my husband going to his moms place he went to choir practice. He said he was going to his mothers. One little lie after another. It's very hard to trust him now 17 years later. And today is actually our 17th Wed. Anniversary. I kept threatening to leave him. Yeah, well I'm still here,but, what is a marriage without the trust. The only lie that is acceptable is if you or the other want to plan a surprise party of some sort. Lies snowball. Lies and deceit destroy relationships, truth sets them free to love without limit.Source(s): 17 years of marriage and two teenage boys. I don't like lies from my boys either!
- StarkLv 61 decade ago
This issue needs to be confronted. And it also depends on what kind of white lies. If it is a lie about what they did today, or who they were talking to, or anything like that, it can be cause for disaster, and need to be addressed. But if it a lie like 'you look great in that jacket' or 'you're not chunky, you look healthy' (i got that one before) i think it is okay. THey are just looking out for you. So decide how YOU feel about the lies. If they make you uncomfortable, then i would talk to your partner about it. Because little lies can easily lead to Bigger lies. Good Luck.
- 1 decade ago
A lie is a lie. White ones little ones big ones whatever. They are all intended to deceive. If you will lie to me about the small things that shouldnt mean anything,why wouldnt you lie about the big stuff that could? Thats how I see it. It is so much harder to be 100% honest all the time but if you are or try to be people will come to respect you and know your word is solid. You are nothing more than your word,and integrity is something that has to start with you first. I mean be honest to yourself first and dont make excuses to justify bad character. It is my biggest issue with my husband. I lost a lot of respect for him over little white lies. I really think thats when it started to change....it being the magic we were. broken trust is just broken..anyway to answer your question directly, Yes lies can destroy a relationship. even little white ones.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- crazylegsLv 71 decade ago
Personally I believe that it is a sign of the future and that things will only increase with dishonesty in the future. If people aren't confronted on little white lies or withholding info then they will naturally progress to bigger things as they will believe they can get away with telling bigger lies and embellishing the truth.Source(s): 51 years life experience
- 1 decade ago
Im actually going through this now. My husbands lies are driving me crazy. It really does not matter how big or small, a lie is a lie and it hurts just as much.
You do not realize how much the lies can hurt a relationship, the damage they can do.
Try to be honest and open at all times, lies can destroy the trust, and without that trust me the love starts to fade quickly.
- physandchemteachLv 71 decade ago
A lie is a lie-it doesn't matter the size. If they are willing to tell "small lies" then they are also willing to tell "big lies".
The only acceptable situation is to always tell the truth. No lies of any kind.
You learn to never trust a person who tells white lies. You never know when they are actually telling the truth. When trust is gone, the relationship is dead.
- 1 decade ago
Did you know lies have no colours?
There are no white lies or black lies or green lies or in fact any colour lies.
The only lies are spoken with false tongue.
The tongue is a small instrument but can deliver vast damage.
As potiphar's wife said " what is truth " the same is to be said about " what is a lie"
Apparently characters in the bible would lie all of the time. They thought it would save their butt but in fact it caused disaster.
So the answer to your question is yes but the only people who care are the people in that relationship no one else cares.
Good luckSource(s): My kind of understanding
- Aussies-OnlineLv 51 decade ago
If it is all the time... it could be a problem.
But the odd white lie is very common as some people simply cannot handle the truth.
If a relationship breaks up over some white lies... it was not much of a relationship to start with.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
To me, yes.
"White" lies are a big problem. You never never what to believe and the "little" lies can turn into big ones one day. If you ask, "Honey, do I look fat?" And he says, "No, you look fine" when you KNOW you don't look fine, that's not a lit so much as either an opinion or just trying to spare your feelings. Why tell you that you look fat? But I have a feeling that's not the sort of lie you mean.