Advice needed, please...?

Hi, I'm a 35 yrs old gay man who trains daily and I know this trainer who is 18 (the adult legal age here in Colombia, south america is 18) and I like him a lot, but I don't know what to do, we clash often for little silly things, so I know we have the same big tempers plus he's very arrogant, but in the end he's a good person, the point is, I like him and I'm confused. A good friend told me that the trainer and I we'll end together because of the fights, is that cliché true? I don't buy it at all. I don't know what to do, he doesn't know that I like him, I started to analyze how we'll be if we were in a relationship but I'm very afraid to tell him even something, other good friend told me that I have to stop that feeling but at the same time take some risks and be prepared to take a no for answer if I go for it, I'm single for about six years and counting...

No lectures please, only receiving smart and mature advices please..

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
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    i say go for it i mean what will you know if u never try?

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  • 1 decade ago

    As what i just answered to a question just now, in a relatioship, there is nothing easy. It is not just on this matter but in all the things. You should not just think and hope. What you are thinking must be followed by effort and doings. There is no good that can simply role down and just easily stop exactly on your feet. When you wanted a flower, you should go and pluck it. But before you want to step over the fence, you should always be prepared for getting caught. It is a simple rule. Anyway, trying is not a big deal. If you have not given yourself a chance, how could other able to give you the chance when yourself are not letting it? Who knows he has some feelings to you as well. If he does, you have more than just luck but you would have the entire universe at that time. Tell him in a good manner and at the same time tell him that not to be offended for such a simple question and your identity. Tell him that if he is not agree with that, you both still can be friends. One thing to bear in mind, do not take advantage on him or do some silly stuffs. You are just getting started and you need his trust and relationship. For the first time it is better to maintain as a friendship. When two of you are getting closer and know each other more, then give yourself an attempt for the next move. If he rejected you, please do not feel sad because there are still many choices for you. What i mean is there is still many people that you can look for. Take that as a trial and make use of it to generate your experience. I understand the feeling of being lonely without someone to love and be loved. As a conclusion, try it before you make any judgement. You won;t know when you have not tried. Yet the best of you have not flourished. Listen to your friends' opinions and at the same time be prepared for any consequences. Pray hard and put your best efforts in. I wish you the best. Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, since he does not know you like him, it sure takes some guts to be the first one to break the ice (about a possible relationship). The one thing to think about is: the fights you clash about, are they enough that it may end up leading to bigger fights if you ended up together?? If not, and you generally get along pretty well, I agree with your friend that you should take the risk--it's better to try than to wonder your whole life if it would have worked out or not. Yes, always be prepared for a "no"--like all of us. But (if) that would happen, don't let that stop you from pursuing other relationships. Good luck!! :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    You seem like you are going to go for it no matter what anyone says. I think your friend might have been gently trying to tell you it won't work.

    If you are seeking a honest opinion, here it is:

    1) There is too much of an age difference for it to be a life long relationship.

    2) If you both have volatile personalities - that is also very hard for a relationship.

    3) Because you have been alone for so long - it will also be hard for you to establish a long relationship. When you have been alone that long, you have grown accustom to having a life your way. It is very hard when you have had things you way that long to make a long term relationship work...

    Please don't get me wrong, anything in life is possible, if you want it and work hard at it.

    I wish you all the best and hope you overcome any obstacles in your life.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Getting into such relationships is not an easy thing. You are old enough, so first think a lot about such relationships. May be you can try talking about such relationships with the person in question and try to know what he feels about such relationships. If he is one against such, then my advice would be to STAY AWAY from expression any of your feelings and just remain a good friend of his.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Having arguements and speaking your mind can be good for a relationship. The important thing is to NEVER go to bed mad at your bf/gf/mate.

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  • 1 decade ago

    GO FOR IT!! Ask him out just as friends at first and see how it goes! Good Luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    No you will not last two tempers do not work well together. I know from experience.

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  • 1 decade ago

    35 years of sins you could think about that gayguy or you could

    think about how to ask god for forgiveness

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  • 1 decade ago

    Try your luck. He might say "No" but what if he says "Yes"?

    Suerte!

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