Mom's, Dad's and Step-Parents....How would you handle these situations?
We have had full custody of my 8 year old step-aon for 31/2 years. I've been a part of his life for 6 years. He is getting out of hand, and short of opening a can of whoop a$$ on him, I need some ideas. Here are some of the issues that we are dealing with, and we have seen a pchychologist, neurologist and peadiatrician...they all say all tests are NORMAL, this is just his behaviour, not a medical problem.
He pees in his toybox ( his room has a bathroom attatched to it)
He wets the bed, so we used to have pull-ups for him, he used to hide them in his closet instead of throwing them in the garbage, so I stopped buying them...now he hides his wet sheets in his closet, or dresser drawers!
At Christmas he turned to my uncle and said (seriously) "How much money are you giving me this year? " (after he opened his card with $50, he said "is that all?", and he didn't say thank you to anyone, all he said was "is there anymore? &"is that it?"
He steals, and lies constantly and doesn't even
care. I am starting to be embarrassed that he's 'My' child. I have an 8 year old daughter and she appreciated everyhting. We also haev a 1 year old, who absorbs everthing. We are always after our kids to be polite and repectful...but I am getting tired of our older son acting like an unappreciative child.....Help!!!!
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
the bed wetting seems to be the smallest of problems. actually there was a mother who would hang up her sons pee stained sheets in the front yard so other kids could see them when they walked by, but thats a different story.
tell him that he is at an age where nobody needs to give him anything because everything is being done for him. every time it is appropriate tell him to say "thank you". if he resists punish him.
have long talks with him every 2 days or so about why the things that he does are wrong. be calm and reat him as an equal.
let him know how sad and upsetting it is to see him act the way he does. put on tears (real ones would be great).
- amberLv 41 decade ago
It Maybe That He Feels You Are Trying To Take The Place Of The Missing Parent.It Does Sound Like He Is Doing All The Things He Does To Be Mean.I Would Take Away His Whole Bed For A While And Make Him Sleep On The Floor Until He Thinks He Is Ready To Use The Bathroom..He Must Know When He Needs To Go If He Is Peeing In The Toy Box.Sounds Like Your Dealing With A Very Unhappy Child..Have You Asked If Anything Is Going Wrong At School?Also I Wouldn't Let ANYONE Buy Him Anything For The Next Few Holidays And When He Ask Why Let Him Know That It's Because Nothing Is Enough For Him And He Was So Rude On Christmas And That He Really Hurt Everyones Feelings acting Like That..Good Luck!Source(s): Mother Of 2 Also Remarried
- 1 decade ago
I think the time for some tough love is at hand. Get in your mind first what to do, set the rules with the wife and go from there, you have to have a united front for anything to work.,
#1 take the toy box out of his room, if he does not respect his things then he can not have them.
# 2 take the door off the bedroom and bathroom, being able to trust him is going to have to be earned from now on.
#3 every morning check his room (with him,) check the bed and his cloths, see what is on the bed and what he is wearing the night before. If things are wet, he remakes the bed and he can do his pissed in clothes he is old enough to do laundry.
Since he can not be trusted he will be under constant supervusion from either you or your wife. Set down with him just the three of you and tell him how things are going to be from now on until his behavior improves, tell him how much he is loved and when he does behave make a big deal about how much it is appeciated. Good luck
- ?Lv 44 years ago
to commence she's a mom and no mom does no longer help her toddlers. yet there's a factor once you ought to draw the line additionally for him to leave your mom on the line in any respect no count the time isn't actual. She extremely needs to desperate if she needs this courting or no longer. attempt helping her by employing doing greater on your own in line with possibility this could a minimum of relieve some rigidity from her.
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- 1 decade ago
He's acting out because there is something in some area of his life that is causing him pain and he doesn't know how to express it. My son went through that when his "sperm donor" (sorry thats about all the guy is worth) was pulling one of his disappearing acts on my young impressionable child. I agree with tonyer...try and get some alone time with him...he may feel like he's not getting the amount of attention he thinks he needs. Its really hard to say but I know that once we started having alone time with my son he did a major 180.Source(s): dealt with similar situation with my son
- 1 decade ago
Ooops, it's a sign of an upset child....
Well, I do face this problem with my eldest daughter. She tends to do almost the same thing as you mentioned abt ur child. What I understand, is that she felt that she had been controlled in her life and not much appreciation shown. Also, she FELT that the attention given is not equally given as the other siblings and too much of responsibility given to her.
Come on, start appreciating ur child and give him that respect which he deserve, and dont forget to get his opinion in things done... It may be a start up, but trust me the result will enlighten you at least a bit....Source(s): Reference Book : Positive Discipline by Nelsen Lott Glenn
- 1 decade ago
1st of all, I would get a 2nd opinion. 2nd, I would cut out all liquids two hours before bedtime. 3rd, Single him out for the attention that he is seeking. I take alone/quality time with each of mine to keep it as equal as possible. 4th, I agree with the others, children live up or down to our expectations. And if he is wetting his bed out of spite, by providing pull ups you are condoning it.
If he is unappreciative, then he should have to earn it. We are never too young to learn responsibility on some level. My 8yr old is learning to do laundry after he has thrown his clean clothes on the floor and walked on them several times. If this doesn't work, he will then learn that if he destorys it, his allowance will have to replace certain things (within reason).
This would be my suggestions as a mother and the matriarch of our family
- 1 decade ago
he is reaching for attention. I would purchase a bed wetting program, the kind with a bell and you wake him each time. This will give him the attention he is looking for and will eliminate the bed wetting.
This is a problem that should have been dealt with long ago. YOU should seek professional help with him. You need professional advice on how to handle situations. Do this before the penal system takes him and does it for you.Source(s): raised three step children, two problem boys.
- 1 decade ago
What is the father doing or saying about this?
First, I would get rid of the toy box and any toys in it. Tell him you are doing this because of what he has done and don't give him anything new to replace anything. If he wants to pee on it, it goes to the trash!
If he wants something new, have him do chores, age appropiate, to earn it.
Make sure you have a bed pad and liner on his bed and get him more of the pull ups. Check his room daily and make him take them to the trash.
Christmas would be over for him for a long time if he lived in my household.
Are you both spending quality time with him?
Is he jeolous of your daughter or baby?
Is dad spending one on one time with him?
- Old guy 124Lv 61 decade ago
There is no answer to your situation.
You can go back to using pull-ups, for the first problem. The second is just bad manners. Expect better of him, if he will not behave better with others. Ask him to leave the room until he is ready to use appropriate behavior in public.Source(s): Step-father