I have been in love with my married boss for the past 3 yrs. He seems to be no longer interested in me anymor?

He seems aloof from me & keeps finding fault wid me saying he does not want to go out wid me anymore as does not like my attitude. He has made the receptionist his PA & is promoting her & giving her all his attention. He was madly in love with me but now he suddenly does not seem to care about me or my work or my potential. Yet, he does not leave me or break this relationship. He is going thru major problems with his wife & a separation, yet he wants me to leave him alone but when I tried to break-up he said it was not over from his end. I love him yet I am finding it hard to trust hm. He used to drop me home earlier but now he does'nt & drops this receptionist evryday & gives her special attention & says this only bcoz he is grooming her. He celebrated her birthday with much better fanfare. Don't know wat's up with him but this is effecting me badly.

15 Answers

Relevance
  • lex
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    it sound like your love affair is literally over and he has tired of you,,one major thing people want from affairs is excitement and after 3 years you may not fit that bill anymore,,you may indeed have become as tiresome as his unknowing poor wife,,it is hard to feel sorry for you because you are or were the mistress and now you are no longer fresh to him you have been dumped and your working potential overlooked,,this is his way of cutting all ties with you and it is likely your career will suffer,,he doesnt want you around anymore making eyes at him and ruining his chances with the new model so you have to go! your best bet is to accept this with grace,as much as able and confront him,,step back and see what you are missing out on here,,promotion or the prospect of it,,,,,this is your working life and this is what happens when the boss gets bored with the office romance,,YOU as the bit on the side suffer so,,,,,,,,,,,tell him you get it,,you know he doesnt want to see you anymore BUT,if that is the case you want to go back to the way it was before all this mess and if you can be professional you are hoping so can he,,no threats,no blackmail and NO flirting,,,you keep your mouth shut,you tell nobody and you keep your head down and concentrate on your work,,it may work or he may cut you off completely but what else can you do,,your working reputation is on the line here and if you go you will need references,,,and as your boss he will be the one to give them,,time to look out for yourself.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I hate to say this, but you need to open up your eyes and see what's obviously going on here. He has found a new young thing to take under his wing, therefore you are not as important to him anymore. Oh yes, he still wants you around just in case. This guy is playing with your feelings, his wifes feelings and this new girls as well. It is sad to me, that all of you have played into him and his games. Get out of this involvement with him now before he hurts you any more. You deserve a man who can give you his full attention and care about you as a person not just as a side item. I wouldn't trust this guy any further than I could throw him if you know what I mean. Take care of yourself and your feelings. If I were you I'd be l;ooking for a new job and a new start in this new year. I wish you the best.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    It's always a bad idea to get involved with an employer and even with a coworker. Mixing your personal and work life means that you don't have one to get away from the other and if the relationship fails, two major areas of your life are disrupted.

    The fact that he was married when he got involved with you should have been a warning that he'd betray you as well. The best predictor of behavior is past behavior.

    Do yourself a favor and start looking for another job. In your intimate relationships, you will be better able to assert yourself and ask for (and get) what you want if your lover doesn't have the power of your future income. Do you want a relationship of equals or do you want to be someone's doormat?

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    First and foremost, take ownership of the fact that you made a mistake by having an affair with the boss. One rule of thumb, don't make honey where you make your money.

    But that is over and in the past, let's concentrate on what is happening now. It kind of looks like, the boss has moved on to his next conquest, your usefulness to him is now over. Now is the time for you to take care of YOU, I suggest you transfer to a different department, so that you will not see him, or the new woman he is now with, or get a new job.

    For your sanity, you do not need to witness him and his behavior on a daily basis, as for him telling you that you can't break up.....how can a married man tell a single woman she can't break up......tell him see-ya......then start dating single guys.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    wake up and smell the coffee..the receptionist is the new object of his affection and he has to tread lightly around you because of the fact that you could get him into a lot of trouble both as a boss who is taking advantage of his female employees and as a potential problem with his wife...realize he is only using you, which he has been doing all along for his own selfish reasons, doesn't care about you and move on...which will mean some significant changes for you and a lot of heartache for you besides..sorry to have to tell you like it is, but that's the truth of the matter

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    This is what you get for getting nvolved with a married man!! Don't expect pity because you have played yourself for the past 3 years. You are being replaced by the new woman in the office. What you fail to realize is there will ALWAYS be a replacement for losers like you and the married JERK. Find a new job...STOP cheating with this loser and stand on your own two feet by making decisions that dont place you in the S.O.S (stuck on stupid) category.

    Source(s): How bout that
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I can't feel sorry for you because you took up with a man that cheated on his wife; did you really expect him to be faithful to you if he wasn't faithful to her. Sounds like he has chosen the receptionist as he new toy; mow you know how his wife must feel.

    He doesn't want to break up or you to leave because he wants a back-up plan and you have willingly allowed yourself to be one in the past, so he is taking it for granted that you will be in the future. He wants you to be committed to him without him being committed to you, not because he loves or cares about you.

    Additionally, this man is in violation of nearly every company's code of ethics, getting sexually involved with a subordinate and abusing his power to manipulate young women into a sexual affair. You may have ground to sue him for sexual harrassment.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    It's obvious he is not in love with you (anymore) - He sees greener grass on the other side. ..The truth in seeing a married man is they are not looking to be "tied down" in a new relationship because he wants to play the field, see how many 'touchdowns' he can make, and eventually he will go back to the wife because she had control over his finances, his children, his insurance, stocks, bonds, etc...etc... My honest advice to you is to find someone else who is not using your body, emotions, and overwell being. He is selfish and not considering your feelings. He is "grooming" this new gal for his own purpose -- just as he did with you.

    Source(s): Been there!
    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Never poop where you eat. Find a new job, keep it in your pants and find someone who is not married where you work. He had you and is going on to the next one. Cut your losses and move on, there are plenty of guys that won't play games with you. Stop playing with taken men especially if they are not divorced.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    He probably wants to have the same relationship with you and her. You might want to just break things off before you get hurt.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.