Why do newly married men want to be unfaithful?
I have several exboyfriends who have gotten married in the past year. Why is it that as soon as they come home from their honeymoons, they begin contemplating our ended relationship and say how they wish we'd stayed together, even though they've already committed their lives to other women? Shouldn't that issue have been laid to rest when they said "I do"? Is this typical male behavior to marry and then regret it?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Because things with their new wife are radically different after marriage than before and they feel they made a mistake and wish they were with you instead. Take it as a compliment, but tell him he made a commitment and you are no longer an option for you. This gives you full control and gets him to wake up and realize he made a decision he needs to live with.
- delux_versionLv 71 decade ago
Well, my guess is you're probably not the typical everyday women. You were probably choice #1, but for some reason they had to go with #2. It is annoying though that after the choice was made they would slither back and hope for something taboo. I too had a girl I loved before I got married to someone else. I still love her today, I guess that love will always be there. But, I'm not that stupid to act on it. Not even if she called from out of the blue. Marriage is a bond between two mature adults, I just don't think that maturity is an issue with these relationships you are talking about. Not that YOU are not mature. I'm guessing the guys are not.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Marriage doesn't mean the same to men as it does to women. Some guys are even eyeing the chicks in the wedding party. We are physical animals...I know you'll agree with the animal part, right?
You asked the question and I'm giving you the answer, from a male perspective. It's just the way things are. Guys are so not into marriage and only do it because women are. Some guys will give in just to have easy access to nookie and will put up with all kinds of annoying aggrevation...until or before getting a divorce. Guys don't want to be married. When women finally and fully understand this Most Important Fact, they'll be happier in their "love life".
- 1 decade ago
People always want what they can't have.
When a man gets married and wants to be faithful, he begins to think of the "freedom" that he gave up. In his hound-dog days, he did as he pleased, slept with whoever, partied whenever, etc.
When you get married those days are gone and it's common for the man to suffer remorse from leaving that stage in his life.
By talking with you and suggesting that he wished he would have stayed with you he is probably meaning that he regrets giving up his former single lifestyle.
You will find the right guy! Good luck!
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- DennisLv 61 decade ago
So you're saying that EVERY boyfriend you've had has gotten married and suddenly yearn to go back to you? How many have you had? Personally i'd think that's mere coincidence, I never want to have ANYTHING to do with my exes....they were called 'EX' for a reason. But that's me.
Unless you did something to really get them excited..be it in the relationship or sex....it's just the dudes you were with..but it ain't typcial male behavior, most my friends that I know of had some seriously bad breakups, and i the 3 that i know are married STAY married with that same person...
But that's just my experience and observance of the question. And no I wouldn't think it to be a typical behavior, I certainly don't regret meeting my fiance, she made me believe in love again :).
- 1 decade ago
The following is a guide to help you determine if your mate is cheating on you. After reading this list you may find there is some area of concern. Do not confront the cheater. This will only cause them to clean up their act and make it more difficult for you to catch them. You may not have enough proof to make your case. I would urge you to seek professional help.
* At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more attentive to his spouse. This is due to guilt that the cheater may be feeling at the time.
* After the affair has been going on for a while the person cheating seems to find fault with the person he/she may be living with to try to justify the affair in their mind.
* Cheating spouses may lose attention in the activities in the home. They don't show interest in the livelihood of you or the children that live in the home. Nor do they have any desires to do any fix-ups to the home (i.e. lawn care, house repairs, etc.....)
* Intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a sign you may have a cheating problem "when in doubt check them out".
* Cheaters may have a change in sex life (i.e. more sex, less sex) as well as unexplained sexual requests.
* The cheater has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home, especially the mate (i.e. if he/she didn't act the way they do, well then maybe I wouldn't be doing the things I do).
* Another sign is "Finances". "If someone wants to play they have to pay" therefore keeping an eye on their monies (i.e. check stubs, bank account balances, credit card bills, etc...) would tell you whether their spending more money than usual.
* Grooming habits will change. Cheaters will be more attentive to their person (e.i. the way they dress, frequent bathing, physical fitness, grooming of their hair, switching of colognes, etc...).
* Physical signs to look for to determine whether or not someone is having an affair is lipstick on the collar, odors of cologne/perfume on a shirt/blouse, checking underwear for secretion stains. You can also check their wallets and/or the glove compartments of their car to see if they left receipts, pieces of paper with phone numbers, addresses, condoms, etc.
* You may want to monitor your spouse for two weeks. During this time keep track of the mileage on their car. Monitor the time they leave for work and the time they come home. Keep a calendar and note the times, this should help you establish a pattern. If your mate claims to be working late, check paycheck stubs to verify this overtime.
* Be tuned in to home telephone calls when your mate has a tendency to whisper or gives a quick answer and immediately hangs up or when you answer the telephone and get an abrupt hang up.
* Many cheaters use cellular telephones to communicate with their lovers. Should your mate have a cellular telephone you may want to get a detailed billing of the calls made from the cellular phone to determine whether a certain number has been frequently called. A good area to start looking is for the first number called when your mate first leaves for work and the same number called again right before they return home.
* Female cheaters are more discreet in the selection of a lover . This is most likely because of their concern of Sexually Transmitted Disease's (STD's). Most females are looking for a longer lasting relationship rather than a "one night stand". In past years men were the aggressors, in society today, with the increase of women in the work force, women have become equally aggressive.
* When a female is having an affair she tends to have more of a "glow" about her.
- 1 decade ago
seriously who could ever pass the cheating guidline list? everyone would fail that list on atleast one or two items a day. men and women are the same when it comes to being unfaithful
people like sex alot! simple. don't get married untill you have tried them all. simple. white ones, black ones, asian ones, red ones, yellow ones, stay away from the green ones. those have cootys.
- 1 decade ago
Lack of commitment. They entered the marriage with some unreal expectations, They felt this recreational partner would always be willing to continue just as it was in dating.
- 1 decade ago
Men like to give it to as many women as they can. They are dogs. They will **** another sweetie on their wedding night if they think they can get away with it. This is the reality. But you can fight back. they hate the idea that you might want some other d&&k. So you let them know that if you catch them giving it up to another woman then you are going to play too. this will probably keep them at bay for a time.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
All guys DON"T do it no matter what the first poster says BOYS do this not men. Marry a man and you won't have this problem.