Im gay and i dont know how to tell my parents.... help?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I applaud your decision to live your life openly and honestly. I also know firsthand how hard it can be to tell your family that you're gay. So as you take that next big step, here are some things to keep in mind.
Before you share with your family and friends, you may want to test the waters a bit. Steer the conversation toward topics of tolerance and equality for same-sex couples. Find out how your parents feels about these kinds of issues.
It's probably taken you a while to come to terms with your sexuality, so just remember that it may take others some time to accept that also. Be prepared to be patient. It's perfectly normal for even the most accepting parents to be a little shocked by such a big revelation. Be prepared for some tough questions -- "How do you know this isn't just a phase?" "What makes you think that you're gay?"
To prepare, it may be helpful to visit website like the the American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html ) or the Human Rights Campaign (http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out ) It may also be helpful to direct your parents to supportive groups like Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG, http://www.pflag.org/ )
If you haven't done so already, you may want to tell a close friend that you're gay -- someone who you know will support you. As your parents come to terms with your sexuality, it will be helpful to have a friendly ally.
Chance are, your mom and dad love you unconditionally. So even if it may take some time and some awkward conversations, chances are excellent that your they'll accept you for who you are.Source(s): http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out http://www.pflag.org/
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I guess I am going to question why you feel the need to tell them. Are you going to start openly dating guys or bring home your boyfriend? If so, then there might be good reason to mention your being gay so they don't faint at the first kiss you plant on him in the living room. I guess how you tell them and when you tell them really depends on two factors. The third one being how you believe they will accept their son being gay but even if you believe they are going to disown you and send you directly to hell in a handbasket, if the other two factors are strong enough then you are going to risk it all and tell them anyway so factor three is not one that should influence your decision.
The first one is your motivation to tell them. The second one is your self-acceptance of yourself as being gay and how self-assured and ready you are. In the absence of motive and true self-acceptance, forget telling them; you might just create a tempest in a teapot that could well be avoided by waiting a year or so until you are ready and you have good reason to disclose before they find out from your behaviour. So, take a careful look inside yoruself and find the real reasons for and against talking to the parents and then decide if now is the right time. If it is, then just talk to them., If it isn't, don't dwell on the issue; merely diarize it for re-consideration in a year's time and get on with your life.
- untanutaLv 51 decade ago
Oh bless ya!
I have two sons, and i am quite open about the whole GAY thing, i tell them that look if thats how you are then tell me, they're not but who knows eh?!
How is your MUM about the whole GAY thing? Because MUMs and SONS are a fantastic bond sit her down and be honest, it's difficult to judge this call as i can't comment on how your MUM is with Gay and Lesbian relationships, have you ever had a girlfriend? I have friends and i new her son was gay and when he told her it came as a huge shock to her which was really strange as everyone else just new and accepted it, she's fine now. Do you think your MUM has a inclin?
Good luck not sure i have helped, but i really feel for you as this a huge milestone in your life!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
My brother just came out. He kept his friends close who knew he was gay for support. Have a friend there with you if you want. ANd to be completely honest they may react negatively from it or positively. Who knows... Suprisingly my parents handled it well when my brother came out to them. Being that we are all from Alabama and you just dont see that everyday in the south they handled it pretty god. But you will have a piece of mind when you tell the people you want to tell. You may not like what they say so be prepared. Good Luck
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- 1 decade ago
Unless you intend to talk to them about how cute this or that guy is, I wouldn't bother, especially if they would be uncool about it, which judging from your question, they would. That sort of thing can easily keep for years. Keep it on a need-to-know basis.
If you still really feel like you need to tell them, go ahead, but I'd try it on Mom first, and let her figure out how to pass the news to Pops. While shopping is wise for scene-prevention.
- 1 decade ago
Do u need to tell them? Are they the open minded sort or it will freak them out? It really depends on their character, I would say, don't say anything if its going to jeopardise yr relationship with them. Its going to be hard to accept this revealation but having said that, if its a load off your mind to let them know, then DO IT.. I really wish you all the very best
- murakamiLv 43 years ago
good day! nicely completed in being courageous sufficient back out on your mum and dad noticeably at the variety of youthful age. initiate with the aid of telling somebody you particularly believe, and who you comprehend would be supportive. then you definately can gradually tell extra human beings. it relatively is a good option to suss out human beings's attitudes on sexuality in the past you confer with them. ok, in step with threat you have fallen in love and want to share the exhilaration. in step with threat you're unwell of averting 'effective' strategies approximately the thank you to get a boyfriend. in step with threat you're at a loss for words and want advice. despite your motives for popping out on your mum and dad, be arranged for ask your self, in step with threat particularly outrage, or any emotion you won't assume. like it or no longer, this is going to be extremely a large deal to your mum and dad before everything. yet optimistically they are going to settle for and assist you. Grand bulletins at Granny's birthday score extreme on impact, yet low on sensitivity. be sure you're someplace the place you experience mushy. in case you experience slightly awkward approximately asserting "i'm gay" in step with threat choose for, "I also have a girl pal" or "i'm no longer probable into adult adult males". then you definately ought to warn a chum in develop which you're approximately to drop the bombshell, so which you have someplace to bypass in case you're able to desire to furnish your mum and dad (and you) particularly area. supply your mum and dad time - they might want a on an identical time as to get used to the assumption. And bear in mind, their preliminary reaction won't inevitably be their long-term one. there is no suitable or incorrect thank you back out. it would be a tailored journey, as person as you're. bear in mind: Planting concepts merely before time might desire to help cut back the sweetness component. i'm hoping this helps and good success with all of it! Tiff x (see under some hyperlinks which would be effective)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
well...... if i were you i would tell them as soon as posible.... and so what if your gay, gays are more talented than girls or boys, gays can do what girls and boys cant do.......... and if they really love you they will accept who you really are, that's better than living your life without happiness and peace of mind.
- kamLv 41 decade ago
go to your doctor and he/she will solve your puzzles
- Goddess TLv 61 decade ago
why do you need to tell them?