Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsCancer · 1 decade ago

my husband is diying of cancer and i feel so helpless,he is only 36.?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I also have terminal cancer with 6 to 10 months to live. While I know what is in store for me, I worry for my wife and son. Remember while you are watching your husband die, he is watching your pain. I don't know which is worse for me. My first instinct was to distance myself from the people that care about me, for purely selfish reasons. It was easier not to see the pain they were going through. I have since realized that it was not fair to my friends and family, and have come to realize that I may be able to help them through this in some way. The best thing you can do for your husband is try to build as many good memories for yourself as you can. My wife has been having a really hard time accepting what is going to happen so we try to spend as much quality time together as we can, I try to make her laugh as much as possible, and we travel when I'm physically able to. We take alot of pictures so she can keep her memories after I'm gone. I'm 57 years old, so I have been blessed compared to your husband, but truth is age doesn't really matter when this thing hits you. It doesn't make anything easier. There is no hope for your husband and me, but like my wife, you have a future and hopefully you will get through this with a better understanding of life and not waste a minute of your life. Good luck and regards to your husband.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I lost my best friend, my father, almost three years ago to this mean and unfair illness. The thing I wish I had done more was to worry less, plan less, make him laugh more. I long to hear his voice. If you have a cassette recorder, record his voice, talking about his good memories and all the fun you had when you met, any shared joys, all the good things. You will have that recording with you when you are alone, and his voice will mean everything to you. Smell him, kiss him, make him feel alive---the sickness is always present, but maybe for a little while, you can make him laugh and remind him that you treasure every day with him. If possible, take a trip or do something extravagant. You won't regret it. My prayers to you. God grant you the wisdom to accept the things you cannot change........and in case you need a reminder, you can be mad at God. He's big enough to take it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    that disease is the most devastating and painful to watch of any. You take care of them as best you can, love them more everyday,and cry many tears. I took care of both my mother and younger sister while I watched the cancer progress and knowing there was nothing more to do-but love them. i don't know what kind or how bad it is for you and him right now, but I have been hearing of a place called "Cancer center treatments of America" I am told they work wonders-for the WHOLE person not just the cancer. Nothing was available when my mom was dying and doctors did not tell my sister in time and then lied to her during treatment. Mom was only 62 and sister was 48 way to young for any one. I will keep you in prayer and make everyday filled with some laughter and sunshine even when it seems darkest. have you enlisted the help of Hospice? I found them really great with my sister and I. they relieved me three time a week so I could get groceries and have time to cry so she didn't see my pain in losing her.-they were fabulous right down to the end. Find them if you have not yet-they truely are gifts from God when you think there is no God with this disease.

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  • I'm sorry to hear this. I will say a prayer for him. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer back in October and had to have surgery to remove it. I'm cancer free now, thank God. I know what you must be going through. You should see if there is some type of family support around your town. If you can't find it, you can email me at: toothdancer@yahoo.com and I'll be your support. Don't feel helpless, you being there for him is helping him. Best wishes to you and your family.

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  • 1 decade ago

    So sorry to hear about your husband.I know exactly how you feel. My husband was diagnosed March 20th with lung cancer. He had no symptoms til then. He went thru radiation, chemo, gamma knife procedure, and took a drug called tarceva. It was so very hard watching him disappear before my very eyes.I never really beleived he would die. I want him back. I cant hardly stand it. If we didnt have kids I would not be here. I promised him I would take care of them and I will even tho I would rather not be here.Sadly, he passed June 6th. Just be there for him. I dont know what condition he is in but when my husband was diagnosed we had cook outs and parties and invited all friends and family took pictures. We went whereever he wanted when he wanted ate what he wanted. Hell we got out of bed at midnight and went to play pool until 4 am. That is what he wanted. Just be there for him and stay strong it is so very hard but he need to know you will be okay. If you want to email me you can. Good luck to you both I will be thinking of you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    hi i really dont know what its like 2 lose a husband but i lost my little bro to cancer it was hard he was 22 all i can say is try n stay strong for him n make him as comfortble as possible there r alot of servcies u can use if u r caring for him at home to feel helpless is normal there is nothing u can do to fis it all u have control over is to make the best of the time u have left

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  • 1 decade ago

    So sorry to hear about your husband. My mother died of cancer 7 months ago and I know how helpless you feel. Just be there for him, you have to be strong, I shall pray for all of you. God Bless! If you ever need to talk contact be at rosanne_hosken@hotmail.com

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  • 1 decade ago

    i will keep you, your husband, and the rest of your family in my thoughts. join some online support groups. there are so many people out there going through the same thing as you are. you are not alone. its natural to feel helpless. the best you can do is to make sure he is happy and taken care of by the best doctors no matter the cost. best wishes.

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  • JQ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Get help for YOURSELF! Your husband needs you, that is true, but he isn't the only one that needs taking care of... If someone wants to help out, but doesn't know what to do, DO NOT HESITATE to take them up on their offer! Do you need some laundry done? Someone to have coffee with? Someone to sit with your husband while you do something? Someone to get some groceries, return a video rental, make dinner? People who offer their help will be more than happy to do even the most mundane tasks for you!

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make sure that you take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of your husband! I am so sorry to hear that you are losing your husband and can't imagine how hard it must be for both of you. I had a friend (who's wife died very young) who said that he would have rather had one day with her than an entire lifetime without her. God bless both of you, take care and best wishes.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i am soooo sorry my dear...the question to your answer can never to totally answered here.. the way forward from here is to empower yourself with as much information as possible both for u and your husband..a caring medical oncologist and palliative care team (not a radiation oncologist-pls check your doctors qualifications)..will be able to discuss all the available modalities of treatment with u both..if ur not satisfied then seek a 2nd/3rd/4th as many medical opinions as u both want before embarking on any decisions...family and friends help..prayer,hope and miracles are never in short supply..i hope u find the strength and courage to weather this storm..luv and all the best to u both...

    Source(s): internal medical resident
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