Wilochka asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Is the death of someone you loved something that you never get over?

A few years ago my mom's best friend died from cancer.. and every once in a while i will think about her and will be sad. wondering why it would happen to her, all the sorts of questions that seem to come right after someone's death. It doesn't ever get easier when I think about her. Am i being obsessive?

14 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    No, it doesn't seem like ur obsessive over it. It might b that u relate her to ur own Mom and that makes it sadder for u. But, I think that all our lives we occasionally think bk about the life n death of a loved one n feel strong emotions. It's perfectly normal. it would b worse to deny ur feelings and suppress them.

    Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ~My grandfather died 11 years ago. From what seems like "out of the blue" something will trigger a memory and I'll cry and miss him.

    It gets easier with time, just takes longer for some. I think it's even harder when you have a small family or not that many family members that you really love.

    I'll be facing my mom's death soon, she's very ill and I don't think that's something I'll ever get over. Of course, you'll never forget them.

    Just remember your mom's best friend is at peace now, she isn't suffering anymore.~

  • 1 decade ago

    No, you are not being obsessive. The death of someone close to you that you loved will always be in your heart, as will the memories of that special person.

    It is normal to feel sad and relive the person's death when you see or hear something that reminds you of her.

    Memories of a loved one are a blessing, and in time, you will cherish the good memories, even though it hurts that this special person is gone.

    If you believe in an afterlife or of Heaven, you can take comfort in that, and know that one day, you will meet again.

  • 1 decade ago

    No,you are not being obsessive-its all very normal! I am now 62 and have lost everyone in my family over the years-all sudden or with illness that were incurable. I lost my grand mother from a heart attack, brother drowned at sixteen,niece killed at four in car accident, mother of ovarian cancer,62 yrs and sister of breast cancer at 48. I know the feeling of loss all too well and there are time yet when I feel lonely-wish they were here. Holidays are especially hard-at times-not all the time. You remember the fun things and other times certain things will make me sad. I remember when my boys all turned 16-I was absolutely paranoid that something would happen to them-that was the age my brother drowned. When I started to hold the reigns too tight on our youngest, his older brother told him why I was acting what he called "strange"-his brother said all would be back to normal on his 17th birthday. You get on with your life but the memories and love you have for them never dies. There are still times I pick up the phone to share something with my sister and realize again she is no longer here,but I do believe they are still with us. God bless

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Well I can only speak for myself. My mom died xmas day and I don't seem to have any after effect. People tell me it will catch up eventually but I don't seem to feel it. I have always been of a mind that you cant change what happened. Its no use saying "if my sister hadnt given her that last champagne" or i\"if only her friend hadnt hit the roller door button" or "if shed only fell differently" or "if only id kissed her twice or loved her more" most people carry these demons through their lives, I'm sure my sisters are, but you have to stay strong. It's what most deceased including you or I would want and often say prior to our departure. "No don't shed tears for me, celebrate my life and the love we shared"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think finding your loved one dead when your not expecting is the one i will never get over....I found my little sister of 12 year old, dead in her closet, she hung herself. I was 18 and a senior in high school, with gradiuation right there around the corner, on mother's day. It was the worst day of my life. I dont understand why she did that to herself and it scared me for life. I miss my little sister and i know she is watching and helping me as i approach rocky situations in my life. You will never be the same if you experience it tragically.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've lost both my parents and my best friend. You never "get over it". The pain never goes away. But with time it gets easier to deal with.

  • 1 decade ago

    Time is a great healer...but I still can be brought to tears so easy over my dad, who left me eleven years ago...he was my darling, my life, and it was a horrible tragedy for me when he was taken away from me...I couldn't go to his grave for almost ten years, and broke down when I did...because if the reality I guess...But He is always with me, ....there is nothing wrong with keeping him/her with you always...and no, you are not being obsessive

  • 1 decade ago

    I believe that some never truly get over it, but as time goes on, you learn to live with it.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is something that will never leave you, but you grow and adapt to the pain and learn from the experience....

    Good Luck!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.