Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

taking child to meet her internet friend for 4 years? is this ok?

summary.. i have a 8 year old daughter. I play games online. 5 years ago i met a man from scotland who is almost same age, and has a daughter one year older (9).

over the last 5 years, i have gotten to know this man really well, we have become best friends online. he has since then taught me poker, let me play his account .. trusting me with lots of money in it. just really good normal guy.

after a year or so of our chatting we decided to let our daughters speak. they did they were 4 and 5 years old. started it off every now and again whenever we would have time, then we started webcam aswell. now we all speak at least 4 or 5 times a week. they have seen and spoken to most of our family on webcam aswell. as we have to thiers.

they are comming to disneyland this summer and we had idea for me to meet them there with my daughter. like ME HIM and our daughters. simple enough.

MY ex husband says absolutly not no way no how.

what do you think?

Update:

LOL well i think its ok to meet him of course. but honest, its mostly for the kids and things. i think it would be a great experience to say the least.. and ITS DISNEYLAND.. lol I dont think theres anyplace.. more PUBLIC.

Update 2:

yes i have thought about this, it was my idea to begin with when they said they were comming to disneyland.. and yes OF COURSE seperate sleeping omg.. these people are strangers in a way. but i just think how great the idea and experience. Me and the mother have even spoke if the kids chose to do a exchange program when they get into highschool... loads of options.

but yes. seen on webcam. nothing out of ordinary. spoke on housephones aswell. and i have all his bank information. i even have his social number from info i helped him fill out one time. there is no doubt in my mind this would be great. i jsut dont want to completly go aginst my daughters dad. but i think he is being unreasonable.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you took your daughter to Disneyland at any other time there would still be a ton of strangers everywhere & you'd still have to keep your eye on her. This guy will actually be less of a stranger than anyone else at the park. Sure you have to be careful with meeting people online because they can hide who they are, but let's face it, someone can hide a lot about themself offline in "real" life too. If you are going to be that paranoid than you will never make friends with anyone.

    If you want to make your ex feel better, then agree to meet this man without the daughters first, but still in a public place & let everyone know where you will be.

    Then if it seems okay, go to Disneyland & have fun!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I understand your X husband's concern. But.........really he shouldn't know your business.

    I would say meet inside of Disneyland. Make sure you are always around other people. If you can, have a friend shadow you that day. Never be alone with him. Never give him any money or an address or bank information. Never let your daughter be alone with him.

    There have been some very big con's out there. We don't want you and your daughter to be on the evening news.

    He just might be wonderful and real. But, he might also be a serial killer.

    I'd say after so many years it would be fun to meet in person.

    Go for it, but have a plan. Don't walk out to the parking lot alone or anything. Be very cautious. I have heard too many nightmare stories about people traveling over seas and meeting a nightmare. Lost tons of money. And lost their lives.

    Give it some serious thought and have a plan that will make your family and friends confortable.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Personally , if it was me, I'd say no way. You never know who you're actually talking to on the internet. Even with a webcam and all, there are still crazy people out there. Especially taking your kid to meet them, when it comes to your children I don't think you can ever be to safe. BUT if I were going to meet them, a public place is deffinately the best way to go. And I know not everyone is psycho. I'm sure this person is probably wonderful, and his daughter is probably fantastic.

    I guess, just go with your gut. If you start to feel uncomfortable in anyway, get the heck out of there :) Hope all goes well!

    P.S. I love Disneyland!!! Good choice :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ask your ex to come along.LOL. Can another adult in your family go with you(one that he's met on webcam). If not, just be careful, you never know the intentions of people. If and when you go enjoy yourself. Something might come from this trip. As for your ex , he's just being a dad (and a good dad ) sounds like. He's just worried about his little girl as he should be. It might be a little tricky if disneyland is in another state for you. But if it's where you live, I say go for it girl and have a great time. Happy New Year.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Because its Disney land a great big place with tons of people I would say yes it would be safe Just be with your dear daughter at all times, take a girlfriend with you too even safer.

    Normally I say don't meet but because you will be there. It should be very safe Just don't tell the X husband. Don't let the other mans family alone with your Dear daughter at all. I would explain all this to the other family before they come. Say I know you but really I don't yet. A good parent will respect this just set the ground rules Now go and have fun.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your ex husband has nothing to do with it. Do you trust your own judgement? Have there been any signs whatsoever that something could be amiss? I doubt you would be talking to this person for five years if that were the case. I have an online friend I have had for almost seven years. I am 47 and a female (engaged). He is 30 and a gay man. We are best friends though we live states away and have never met. I hope to meet him one day and thank the inventor of the internet for giving me the chance to find a close friend like that. You go meet him and have a fantastic time!!!!!! I am certain that you will take every precaution and your ex has nothing to worry about.

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  • Poppet
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    So for the last 4 years you two have been having a nice relationship of sorts. You've kinda met via Web cam and so have your daughters. You would be meeting in a public place and you would be having separate sleeping arrangements. I see nothing wrong with this. If this had been sight unseen then I would be worried but this is as good as its going to get. Meet in Disney land, by the gates. Spend the day together then call it a night separately.

    Your Ex has no say in this matter, you are allowed to pursue a relationship.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do you plan on meeting as friends? expecting more? sharing a room? You did not give all the details. I would not make it a family outting. I think the 2 of you should meet over coffee or something first and see how it all goes. If the situation were to be reversed and ur ex said he was gonna take her to meet a female friend offline would you be ok with it? I know I would not be. Good Luck with that

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would meet in a very public place and stay there for awhile, if he seems like he is in a hurry to get out of there I would be suspicious. I would go and have fun!

    I really like the "OH NO Don't meet anyone online, everyone online is a crazy weirdo that shouldn't be trusted...hey all you that got that first impression, run to the mirror and tell that person you see in the mirror ' your on the internet, you can't be trusted because your a crazy weirdo like everyone else on the net.'

    Sometimes... somethings just amaze me.

    Go, be cautious, but have FUN!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well it seems perfectly normal and safe you have gotten to know him and it just doesn't seem like it wouldn't be safe, and after all it's disneyland people will be all over but it seems safe and fair enough and forget what your ex-husband says it's his child too but you have a say and so does he and if you want to meet this man and his child in person you should feel okay to do so. But it's not about if people think that's it okay or not it's what you and your child thinks, cause you two are the ones who are going to be meeting this man and his child...but good luck.

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