How can I stop arguing with my boyfriend?
We have been together for a year and a half and living together for a year. We are fixing to move out of a friend's place and into an apartment of our own. We can't agree on the apartment, he is fixing up his car and driving mine all of the time, and asks me a ton of questions like a 3rd degree. I don't want to lose him, but I can not take any more of our arguing, it's 24/7 unless we are sleeping or at work! HELP?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Answer his questions and there will be no argument.
- 1 decade ago
It sounds to me like you are not meant to be together. Arguing all the time is too painful. What are you arguing about? One option would be to seek some kind of couples counseling to figure out what is behind these arguements and hopefully lessen their frequency. Another option would be to just end it now. Move into your own apartment instead of moving in together. Maybe you could still be friends or even stay lovers- Maybe a clean break would be best. Only you 2 can decide. Good luck.
- soul childLv 41 decade ago
Avoiding Four Common Relationship Problems
Question of the Week: I have been on the dating scene for what feels like my entire life (I'm a 30 year old who has never been married). I’ve had many girlfriends, some serious, and some not so serious. Every time I believe that I’ve found “the one,” the same old relationship issues seem to pop up, and we end up breaking up. I was wondering what the most common relationship problems are and the best ways to get past them?
Relationships are the spice of life, but the spice of relationships is also bound to leave an unpleasant taste in your mouth once in awhile. Most everyone will experience a failed relationship before meeting the love of their life, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they’re able to learn from it rather than falling into the same patterns again and again. Find out if you’re guilty of any of these common relationship problems.
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: To optimize the success of a happy and healthy relationship, each partner needs to be at their most complete as an individual. This means each person needs to be emotionally mature and available, have a strong sense of self and know what it is that each person wants from the other. An emotionally-unhealthy individual will look at a relationship as a way to solve their own problems or as the thing in life that will make them feel complete. An emotionally-unhealthy individual may be too dependant because they’re too afraid to be alone and may settle for someone they know won’t make a good partner.
Moving Too Fast
In a world where instant gratification dominates, relationships often fail because of this exact reason – too many couples are in a rush to “make it work,” ignoring any waving red flags. You end up putting too much faith in a relationship because you want to be in one so bad and you believe a relationship will fix all of your loneliness or feelings of being incomplete. Excitement about a new relationship is one thing, but forgetting that a relationship takes a lot of time to really grow is another. There is no specific “stage” you should be in at a pre-determined time. It all depends on the couple.
Romantic fantasies, unhealthy individuals and putting too much hope into an already struggling relationship all describe this general common relationship problem theme – having unrealistic expectations. Expecting that you can change any bad behaviors your partner has is unrealistic. Expecting your partner to feel the same way about everything is unrealistic. When your expectations don’t come to fruition, you place blame on the other for something that you should probably blame yourself for. The only expectations you should have about a relationship is that you will be treated as well as you treat the other person and that you will gain friendship, love, respect and support from a healthy relationship. Expect to plan for the dynamics of a relationship changing over time due to human nature and external factors, but expect that love will survive if you work at it.
Everyone has a different style of dealing with money. Some of you are frugal Franks while others are spendthrifts Susies. Money can be a huge root of contention in a relationship, especially in a marriage when the money is mutually shared. Different money styles aren’t necessarily something that will hurt a relationship, but the lack of compromise or deception with money can.
Money also can represent a power struggle in a relationship and one of the partners may feel like their independence is being compromised. Before opening a joint bank account or getting married, it is essential that any money differences, issues and fears are discussed, and a compromise and budget or short-term and long-term goals are agreed upon. However, what is most essential is to respect what lines have been drawn, and not to use money as a way to exert control or power over the other.
An important element of any happy and healthy relationship is individual health. The body-mind connection is so powerful, that by taking care of your body you will help empower your mind and enrich your relationships.
- 1 decade ago
i love how only guys have answered this... just agree with him? haha yeah right. how about tryin to talk to him and tell him you dont think its fair of what he is doing. and if he is anything like my boyfriend he wont understand that, so my solution is doing the same thing to him to show him examples. If he wants to ask me 20 questions about something i am doing, i do it to him about something he would think is common and i shouldnt be asking him about, and when he asks why i am asking, then i bring up what he was doing to me and try to make him see. You might need to talk to him about why it has gotten this way because it might be the fact that issues such as money, or other things might be making him upset and angry and this is just the way he deals with it especially if you guys are getting ready to get a place of your own or maybe its the big step of acting living together by yourselves. communication is the key, and if that doesnt work, make him understand by any means. Arguing 24/7 is not going to make an apartment very comfortable for the both of you. good luck!
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- mamabearLv 61 decade ago
Doesn't sound like you're with the right person. You can continue being unhappy or you can cut your losses now. You only have a year and a half wasted on this relationship. You're not married, so the both of you probably know it's not going to work out.
- whereRyou?Lv 61 decade ago
Sounds like the guy I'd want to marry---not. What are you thinking??? A year and a half is for sure long enough to be getting a true picture of who this guy is. Why don't you want to lose him? Lose him, quick! Find your car and drive it away. Please do not get pregnant, no matter what. You deserve much more out of life than this. Get educated. Get a fun life. Drop losers like this. Best of luck.
- 1 decade ago
if all you do is argue it's time to split.it won't never work.whats the point being with some-one if all you do is fuss?came to the realize several years ago it's not worth it.if you love,or care for your mate why argue about every little thing,life is way to short for those games.if you want to fuss go get your little sister - brother.ha.ha.i've been with my mate for 6 years now,and we've only had 2 arguments,,,we talk about everything.
tell your boyfriend you'll need to talk before you'll go any further,if not things won't change,,,maybe for the worse.when 2 people love each other they can talk about anything,and live Thur it.just sit him down and be straight with him,,,your feelings,what all of this is doing to you.
- 1 decade ago
Wow see now here's a perfect example of a couple that is showing obvious sings of disaster. You should be talking to him about all this. Other wise it will only get worse. Why would you not want to lose him if he's already driving you crazy? My guess is he probably really doesn't want to move in with you just yet. He may not be ready.
Are you waiting to get pregnant before you realize this ain't no match made in heaven?
People please open your eyes! Look before you leap!
- 1 decade ago
Pick your fights. Figure out what you are really arguing about. Is this someone who can be there thick and thin? There's lots bigger decisions that driving and apt renovation.... if you have to argue about the little things the biggies are going to be a disaster...run.
- MJane21Lv 51 decade ago
Maybe you to need some space apart see how you both feel then. I don't think find a place to live will help your problem
- SPLv 41 decade ago
bite your tongue when you feel the urge to talk back and take a few deep breaths and a sip of water. It helps...if it does not try counting 100 backwards. If need be start at a 1000...Patience pays.