My husband is a great man, but i'm just not happy..what do I do?

When I told him I was unhappy he got so upset that it made me feel bad. I really don't know what to do. HELP! I deserve to be happy, right?

Update:

I don't feel like i'm in love with him anymore.

36 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Everyone deserves to be happy. Including your husband. You made the choice to marry him so you need to just deal with it or youre going to look like a total ***** in front of everyone you know.

    Okay, so you're really my best friend and you know I really don't think that way.

    You know what I think.....you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I just want you to find out what's going to make you happy. :)

    K, love ya.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes! you deserve to be happy and so does he. What makes you unhappy ? Are you able to pin-point that ? If not, write down what you like and dislike about your marriage, not just about him, and maybe you will see some areas that you could both work on together to create a happy, 'medium'. Keep in mind that marriage is never a piece if cake, meant to be easy, or always bliss full. It is really hard work, and sometimes the love will dissipate, but beyond that, a new, stronger love will grow. You married him for a reason, what was that reason ?-- Are you considering a divorce ? If so, are there any children involved-if the answer is yes, consider what message you would be sending to them if you divorced because you, "weren't happy." They will forever have a next to impossible time being content in their own relationships. Remember that all marriages go through 'dry-spells', some longer than others. I really do wish you the best. HTH

    Source(s): Check out two books... The Dynamics of Divorce-25 yr landmark study-Judith Wallerstein and-Judith Wallerstein The Five Love Languages-Gary Chapman
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Since when do you, or anyone else, "deserve" anything? Life isn't like that, dearie.

    You EARN whatever you get out of life, good or bad. Counseling might help, but until you mature quite a bit more, it's doubtful it will help. You have to want to save the relationship if it is to be saved. Where do you think you'll find happiness if not with him? Happiness is not waiting for you just around the corner and it is certainly not in the form of another, younger and cuter, guy. You want to be happy, concentrate on making others happy. What you do for others will reflect good back onto you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you unhappy just about marriage? When was the last time you remember being happy? I know most people will reply to this suggesting counseling but it's not a bad idea. A counselor may be able to help you get to the root of the problem.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Everyone deserves to be happy. Shame on him for getting upset. If he loves you, which I'm sure he does, he should listen to you and listen to why you're not happy.

    Try again. Tell him you want to talk about it. I would assume you would want to work it out, right? So talk to him about what has changed in the relationship and why you're unhappy. Guys can be dense--sorry--so let him know what you need to be happy.

    And remember, marriage isn't one sided. He might be unhappy a little, too. So see what you two can do to work things out.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't stay in a relationship that is one sided, it is not fair to either party involved. You should not have to live under a pretense that you are happy and in love, just like your husband should not have to be in a marriage where he is the only person who is lovingly committed. We make mistakes in our lives, you made a bad choice when you married and were not sound in your knowledge that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with your partner. You need to sit down and have a real heart to heart with your husband, seek counseling, speak with a clergy member, find out first if there is anything that the two of you can do together to help before you call it quits. I wish you all the best. Peace.

  • PDH
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You say you aren't happy, but also say your husband is a great man. You make no sense to me, and I am betting you don't understand why you aren't happy. You and your husband have just hit a "boring" place in you marriage and you need to get to know each other again like you did when you first got together.

    Yes you deserve to be happy, but so does your husband. Don't be selfish. Stop looking to the other side of the fence to find greener pastures. they aren't over there either. No matter what you do or who you are with, eventually you will get bored with that too. Try to find what it was that attracted you and your husband to each other in the first place and start over together.

  • 1 decade ago

    you sound like one of us people that for ever run's around keeping others happy,and u prob,have been doing it so long that u never realised, that u forgot about u along the way. Are u still in love with ur husband is the first issue?if so its worth trying to work it through,but if u are staying with him because u dont think he can handle u leaving,then its time to think about u!that's not an easy task especially if ur not use to it,yes u deserve to be happy, a new year is on the way,why not dedicate it to ur self and work on making u happy,everything else will fall in to place,after all what can it hurt,Little time to get to know u again! good luck!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Everyone deserves to be happy, but why didn't you say something before you got married? Doesn't he deserve happiness too? I think you are going to cause this guy a lot of heartache (from what you said) but that's on both of you to deal with. I wish people would really really really only marry for the right reasons, not to tie someone down, or to feed their materialism, narcissism, etc.

  • bogey
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If it's bec something you don't like abt your husband (his action, words, etc), then tell him that honestly and find a solution with him. But if it has nothing to do with him and it's entirely abt you, then you need to find out what caused it. Maybe you're just bored with the routine daily life? Go travelling to a romantic place with him, set up a weekly date with him, do a fun hobby together, etc. It's NOT easy to find a great man. Once you've found him, take care of him and don't lose him. Don;t give the fortune to any other women while it's already in your hand!

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