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I just found out my 16yr old daughter had sex with her 17yr old boyfriend in my car. What do I do now?

I found evidence in my car. I am really upset.

24 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Make a night out of it at home. Rent a movie...make dinner together...then "talk". Ask if there's something she wants to tell you...if she's quiet then just blurt it out...let her know you know. Tell her you didn't know she was ready for such a big step in her life and that you understand she's growing up. Then offer to make an appointment at the ob/gyn for her and perhaps get her started on some kind of birth control so she at least won't wind up pregnant in high school. Tricky situation and has to be approached with ease and if you attack her on the subject you could wind up driving her away (cause most likely it wasn't very enjoyable anyway). Best of luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Whether you want her to or not she's going to do it, I speak from personal experience. You need to confront her, I know you're angry, but you need to keep calm. Offer her methods of birth control so she can protect herself. I'd suggest putting her on a pill or a patch or getting the shot. I know it's scary for a mom, but the last thing you want is for her to get pregnant. She needs to have condoms too because of prevention from STDs. She's going to be upset that you found out, and she might even ignore you for a while, but confront her asap! The sooner it's out of the way the better. Show her that you're a cool parent, and show her that you care.

    Like I mentioned before, if she wants to do it, she will. There's always going to be a place where it can be done whether it's 4 in the afternoon or 12 at night. No kerfu can keep her from it and that's the scary part! The best thing you can do is protect her and make sure she's well informed and up to date and knows how you feel about the situation.

    Good luck! Keep calm! It'll pass.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well i'm not exactly someone to answer this but I can tell you from experience what you should not do. Let me tell you this first i'm 22 and I had sex with my b/f when i was 16 in my car when my parents found out they went psycho and got totally pissed off. My mom and me had a great relationship up until that day that she spent 3 hours yelling at me. I understand her point of view but she went to far with it. So think about it talk to your daughter as if she was talking to one of her friends. Advise her on the importance to have safe sex and then at the end tell her what she did was irrespectable to you and there is consequences. Then punish her not to the extremem though!!

    Source(s): MY LFE
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  • 1 decade ago

    Look don't make it sound that u were never a teen too..who was strongly once in love.However it was wrong for her to have sex in your car..which I clearly understand.Don't just be upset..cuz it wouldn't work out the problem..but just exercise the muscles on your face..So u should talk to your daughter like a mother who knows how to solve a problem,and comfort her..show her sympathy..don't do detective work on your daughter...u were once like her..u should be happy it wasn't someone else car,or at someone else home she went.Plez work this out calmly..and not scare your daughter..for what she did..but show her,her mistake..and explain it to her..remember u r the parent,she's the daughter.Am just 18..so plez don't make her feel bad..which could lead her to do something worst..Happy New Year!!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am no expert but maybe you should wait until you are carmer and talk to your daughter. She has not committed any crime but I can understand you are upset. I think most importantly you need to check she is emotionally mature enough to understand the consequences and comfort her if she regrets this big decision. She might appreciate it if you can talk to her as an adult and let her know you are there for her.

    Maybe casually leave some sexual health leaflets on her bed so she is aware of the risks and this may lead to her to come to you (she'll be aware you know and if the evidence isn't hers she be well informed for future.)

    Good luck :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    just confront her tell her that u didnt rasie her that way althou i wouldnt listen to that cause ive had sex many times and im 13

    but anyways tell her that she should wait till shes marryed and she has found the real love of her life

    tell he the story about me cause whaen i was 11 i had sex then i got pregnant now i have a 2 year old son and i only 13 so that might stop her a bit and make her think about her schoolwork and not having sex

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  • 1 decade ago

    rent a movie eat dinner and have a dessert you both like. during that drop small quiet hints. if she responds by starting the conversation DO NOT BLOW UP! this will get you nowhere. Calmly talk about why, what she did wrong, and did she use protection. then with her schedule an appoinment with Plan Parenthood. The whole time try not to be mad or negative

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  • 1 decade ago

    1. febreze your car

    2. talk to your daughter (calmly) and take her to planned parenthood. You probably will not be successful in expecting her to stop now. And forbidding her from seeing him will just backfire. My sister got pregnant from her boyfriend at 15, my parents forbidded her to see him again, they got married and have been for almost 20 years. A 16 year old (sadly) will do what they want and feel they are right. She needs your support or your relationship will suffer.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    there really isnt much you can do about that,you can ask questions about what happened,but the damage has been done, she already has had sex and you cant go back and change that, since you know you should sit down with her and talk to her about it,make sure she understands the risk and everything and make sure she is protected and take her to make sure she hasnt caught anything or isnt pregnant..

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to sit that little girl down and have a SERIOUS discussion. I would also put her on birth control before it's too late. I would also book her up with a ton of babysitting so she can get a tiny glimpse into the life of a mother.

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