Is it natural to feel attraction to certain qualities others have even though you are commited?
Ok I have a boyfriend however over the summer my friend (guy and boyfriend's really close friend) and I went to this summer program together (my b/f didn't get accepted) and after knowing him better I liked the fact that we could talk about anything and that he had great communication skills. I didn't fall in love with him or anything like that but felt bad for feeling a sense of attraction towards him for communicating and listening so well to me (at times more than my own boyfriend) is this natural? Should I tell my boyfriend what I felt over the summer?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Sure it's natural. It will happen the rest of your life. Even after you've been married to the same person for many years.
It doesn't mean you want to do anything with them or act on your feelings, it just means that you see a very good quality in them and you can appreciate it.
It's what makes us love everyone in the way that we should - one person to another.
- 1 decade ago
This is incredibly natural. People gravitate toward people that they can communicate easily with. Lack of communication is one of the big complaints in unhappy marriages. You would be wise to seriously consider communication skills and rapport as a very important ingredient for any person that you are even remotely considering as a long term partner.
I'm not sure whether telling your boyfriend that you were attracted to his friend is a good idea, however, you may want to reconsider whether you are ready to be committed to one guy at this point in your life. If you believe that you really are, you should know that all throughout your life you will find that you have "attractions" to other people. That is completely normal. There is only a problem if you are in a relationship and take action on the attraction, or allow the attraction to interfere with your current relationship. Even after 30 years of marriage, there will be stirrings and attractions for others. It would be UNnatural not to have them. Its what you do with those feelings that may cause problems in a relationship.
- AntoineBachmannLv 51 decade ago
(1) please do NOT tell the boyfriend about this. Chances are he will NOT take it well. Especially considering (a) it's a close friend of his, and (b) you and the guy got accepted to a program, while he didn't make it
(2) yes it's perfectly normal to feel attracted. And it's more noble that you should feel attracted to some great human qualities than if, say, you had fallen for great sex ;-) The downside is that great human qualities may be just as addictive as great sex, if not more. So there probably is a risk that you'll end up with that guy. Which, by the way you talk about him, seems to be more a risk for your current boyfriend, than for you
hope this helps a bit
- 1 decade ago
Ummm if you love your boyfriend don't let him know how you felt. They are feelings that you couldn't control but to him he will not understand that! Now to be honest with you I think you should talk to your boyfriend about his communication skills becuase it seems he may lack in that department which made your feelings go off when you notice another of the opposite sex actually listening to you and knowing you felt comfortable enough to tell him anything. So with that said you are experiencing very normal feelings but if at anytime you feel or notice that they get stronger or happen more frequently you may want to evaluate your relationship and ask yourself is that what you really want.
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- fancynameLv 61 decade ago
Do not tell your boyfriend. No one person is going to have all the qualities one may want. So when we see them, its natural to be attracted to them on some level. Bottom line is this. You love your boyfriend in spite of the fact he doesnt communicate as well. Take a moment to think of all the reason you love your boyfriend, Make this your BECAUSE OF list and you will see your boyfriend has many qualities you want. Do yourself a favor and tell your boyfriend all the reasons you love him.
- ~Crystal~Lv 41 decade ago
There is no need to tell him. And yes it is natural to have an attraction with some who communicates well with you. If you were to tell your boyfriend it will only cause tension in your relationship.
- DewLv 71 decade ago
I see no need to tell him.and yes it is natural to like something about another man,you are Human.Try to get your boyfriend to open up more,I know thats a hard thing to do,but it's worth a shot.Good LuckSource(s): mom of 3
- Anonymous1 decade ago
what you really want is to have sex with this other guy, so no, don't tell your bf! what he don't know won't hurt him.