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too much too ask?

im a stay at home mother of a 3 month old baby boy... my husband works Mon.-Fri. He gets off work around 5pm and when he comes home he eats watchs TV then takes a shower, then off to bed by 830pm, he never wants to help me out while he is off work. our son gets up ever 3 hrs for a feeding at night and durining the day he wants to cry and cry, i would love to have a little brake and not have to walk around the house all day long with a baby in my arms, is it too much to ask my husband to hold him and get up with me some to give me a brake or am i asking to much because i dont work?

Update:

also when i do ask him to help he gets mad and says that i (me) dont work and he does my job is to take care of our baby. that i dont have a job

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    yeah and he gets to come home from his job...so when do you get a break?? he needs to help he had a baby with you...his job is not 24/7 so yours should not be if he cant change i would leave him...you can do it on your own....it will be hard but you need a break from the children i know how that feels

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would call a friend and set up a lunch date on the weekend then shopping. When your husband comes home (not right away but before he goes to bed) tell him you are going out with so and so and he will need to watch the baby for a few hours. If he throws a fit: tell him he gets to come home from work and has weekends off - you need a break too. Besides he needs some bonding time with the baby.

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  • It's not like you're asking him to do all your work for you....you just want him to hold the baby and maybe get up once it awhile during the night!!! No, you are not asking too much!!! Why can't he hold the baby while watching TV? Yes, I'm sure he is tired frorm his 8 hour day at work, but YOU'RE tired frorm you 24 HOUR day at work with the baby (minus the few hours you get tot sleep in between the baby crying) I think you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him about how this is affecting you....not right after he get's off work though when he is tired and irritable...maybe on a weekend after you get up. Tell how frustrating it is and how tired you get...if he really loves you he will try to listen and be understanding and compassionate! Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    No it's not too much to ask, some men are just afraid, or uncomfortable with a small child. Try talking to him, not screaming and yelling, just talking. If that doesn't work, write it down in a letter, and send it with him to work. Be sure he knows how you feel. Better yet if you were working before you had the baby, try a part-time job and hiring a babysitter. It can be more stressful to stay at home, than to have a part-time job that you enjoy. It can actually be a little bit of stress relief.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is not too much to ask, you need a break from taking care of the baby. I don't know how you can get your husband to help, but maybe you can visit your parents for a little while? Your mother will probably love to take care of the baby for a little bit. Or you can see if there is a church in your area that offers a Mom's night out program... you can leave the kid at the church for a few hours.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just tell him how you feel in a loving way if possible. You are married so I am assuming he loves you and your child. Some guys are actually scared to take charge thinking they are unable to fill our shoes. I would focus more on how your child needs him. Not in a nagging way. Maybe leave some type of Dad and baby book in the bedroom on his pillow or something like that ..Kill him with kindness this works for me. Maybe not right away but it really does. Take it one day at a time and praise your man when he does something you like . You will be surprised catching him doing it again the very next day.

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  • micg
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    No it is not too much to ask. He should help even if he works outside the home. Men don't seem to realize that a mother works in the home when she has a new baby.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My husband is the same way. i stay at home with our four month old baby girl . He works 7 and 7 in other words he works for seven days and then he is off for 7 days. and on his seven days off he still doesnt help. i really dont understand. He tells me the same thing your husband tell u when i ask for help.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am a single mom by choice and I expect this. However, if I did have a man I would expect help and respect... or I would go back to being a single mom, because doing it on my own works for me and is way less stressful.

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