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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

I am 42 years old, have two children and my family believes they can tell me how to live my life.?

I have been married 3 times, of which are not my fault they ended except that I wanted and needed a better life from that in which I lived. They made Christmas eve a night from hell for me, which ruined my spirits for Christmas day. My boyfriend was not even acknowledged by them, made him feel very out of place in my house! I live a middle class life and have made a very good life for myself and my children. So how do you tell the others you love to butt out, tactfully

Update:

slow down guys, my family is very well adjusted, many compliment me on their upbringing. 1st marriage was a alcoholic, chose booze over his kids, 2nd was a liar and cheater of which i knew for some time, but truth came out way too late. 3rd was abuser; so my choices were all lessons. I should have known my new boyfriend first, he takes care of me. Bad are you to assume why someone else is not with him. Time will tell, I am not marrying him in any near future. Yes family cares about me, but really, they don't pay my bills and need to butt out. I pay for my house, my bills, no child support or alimony from the past losers.

Update 2:

My children are always put first, as some of you may think otherwise, the holiday was all about them, not me. Just no one seemed to care about how much time and effort I put into to everyone loving and laughing, but only to put me down and make me feel like crap, me and my guest. don't go 'judging me' when you don't know me, those that do know me are well to guilty of their own faults.

8 Answers

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  • Krinta
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    S S, they could be more concerned then anything about you, since the choice of men have not been great for you. I'm not bashing you in any way. Take it slow and remember people can see more then we can when in a relationship. We seem to want so bad for it to be the one and since we have or probably have our eyes closed to these things allow them to talk and then filter through some of they say and see if maybe some of it is true or just them being overly protective. Family can be mean but not always so take any advise you can get before going into a 4th marriage, if that is the way this is headed.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You want everyone to approve on how you live. You have been married three times and now you have another boy friend. You take no blame at all by your own admission. Now, you better sit back and take a look at the big picture. Why did your marriages fail---truth time--- if you lie you only hurt yourself. If you do not admit mistakes how can you correct them. Now, the new boyfriend, why do you think no one liked him? Did he try and make conversation? Does he have a past that is following him. You never mentioned about how your children felt . You are more worried about yourself. You sound very self centered. Christmas is for the children. Start worrying about what all these marriages and a new boyfriend is doing to your children. Instead of you must be happy ever minute of the day no matter how others feel.

    You can seem to take marriage vows seriously, or any relationship seriously. Ask yourself why? But the biggest questions is are my children happy and well adjusted?

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  • John B
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    More than anything else you need to sit down and begin listing out what you really want. It would seem from what you say that up to now you have not really known what that is.

    For you to leave three men because they couldn't provide what you thought you wanted in life says a lot. The problem was not them but with you.

    It is very easy for us all to become bored with what we have. We look at our neighbors and we think we see how much better they have it and so some of try anything to get there.

    The only problem with that is we never really recognize that we are there because there is and will always be something bigger and better.

    Not knowing you family it is hard to say why they don't except him. Maybe they loved the first one and have not gotten over why you left him. Hard to say. But they may not want to get to close to him because he may not be around all that long.

    Did you have children by the first, second, or third husband? If so they are your parents grandchildren. If they love them there will never be another daddy that can truly take the real one.

    I am not trying to be hard on you. I really am not. But you truly must look at what you want out of life before you are where I am.

    I am 65....married to my second wife. I was married to the first for 37 years and while she left me for someone else I regret nothing.

    I do hope that you will be able to say that.

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  • JustMe
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Tell them that they can tell you what to do when they pay your bills. End of story. But being that you've been married 3 times and have 2 kids that are going through this with you I'm sure they are concerned. You have to remember that since you have kids your life isn't only your own. You cant just keep having relationships that end and have the kids going through these ups and downs with you. Dont you think by 42 you should be making some wiser decisions ?

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to get to know the man that you go out with first....it not about you anymore you have kids look take you time and don't take them home or take them to met your family till you have been with them you some time you know like 6mons or so...and about your family sometime they can see things that you don't want to see about your new friend....the family just want to see you happy and your kids and they see that you have been married 3 times and don't forget it not just you that got married 3 time it your kids and your family too...if moms only knows it not always what makes you happy it what makes your kids and you there has to be something and the kids said something to them about him and cant say it to you...or maybe you said something.....look what Ian say is that you been married 3 time and who has been there for that is your family and your kids so don't talk to them like that because man come and go your family and kids will always be there.....so just think about it be for you say thing that is not nice just because you new man did not like them..and for him just let me know that your family just care about you and love you and they just want the best for...and he just has to let them know that he loves you and your kids and shown it then it will get better.....

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  • emrich
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    that's amazingly authentic that WE show others a thank you to handle us . the main suitable ingredient for absolutely everyone to do is to make a catalogue of limitations and in no way enable absolutely everyone bypass over them . It takes some paintings and it may get emotional , yet while others finally get the image which you're changeing , peace will come .

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  • 1 decade ago

    Apparantly you're not listening to family members, so it's irrelevant. Continue to live your life as you so choose. But PLEASE consider your 2 children. A parent needs to set a moral example for them.

    I hope your NEW YEAR is welcomed in more favorably!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you've been married 3 times and they all leave, apparently you need to evaluate things because you just might be the problem!

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