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what do i do if my friend's parent's wont allow them in my wedding?

I had a falling out with my best friend's mom and dad and they are vry bitter against me now for it. i want my best friend to be in the wedding, but she is very very intent on listening to her parents even though she is 19....should i ask her even though i know her parents will object? the wedding is in the states and she lives in canada so i wold have to fly her down and everything like that...gah what would be the best thing to do?

Update:

Her parents want me to dump my fiance b/c they (and their church) don't know him. I don't think i will ever be able to reconcile with them

18 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is up to your friend if she wants to be in your wedding or not. It isn't up to her parents to decide, nor should you pressure her. Just let her know that you would love for her to be in it and tell her that you planned on flying her down so she wouldn't have to worry about that expense. Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If she is only 19, she is quite young and that is a difficult position to put her in. Is she dependent on her parents? Does she live with them? If so, I can see where she would be very torn between family loyalty and friendship. I'm curious as to what type of "falling out" you had. Are her parents mad at you, or do they now officially hate you for something huge?

    Can you try to reconcile with her parents (note the lack of an apostrophe since it is plural, not singular possessive)? If not, extend the invitation to your wedding, but don't press her to choose you over her family. Family is forever.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You should ask her and give her the invitation. If she is your best friend, she obviously deserves the honor of being in your wedding. If she is not able to, then don't hold it against her. Let her know that she will be there in spirit no matter what and maybe do something special like send her a bouquet of flowers on your wedding day or something to let her know you're thinking of her.

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Being a bridesmaid includes the responsibility and burden of paying for your own dress and paying for all the travel arrangements to get to the wedding. If your best friend can't handle those responsibilities on her own and need to depend on her parents for that, then she's not an appropriate person to select as your bridesmaid. Also, it sounds like she is still greatly financially dependent on her parents -- do you really want to create a conflict between her and her parents? What if it goes badly for her, and her parents decide not to support her anymore?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ask her, but don't count on her being there. Even if she says "yes" her parents may still be able to prevent her from attending. So, as a practical matter, don't give her anything essential to do in the wedding, just in case she won't be there. And make sure you explain this to her when you invite her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If she is your best friend, then she should be there, so ask her. Even though you had a falling out with her parents, she is still your best friend, and she is old enough to make her own decisions. I would like to think she wouldn't say no, again, since she is your best friend.

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  • 1 decade ago

    why does it matter if her parents don't want her in the wedding? she's 19 and an adult. it's not like she's marrying you.... they won't even be there, so what do they care? my parents haven't liked all my friends either, but it's not their decision.

    i think you should ask her and give her the option to decide. it'd be pretty crappy if she didn't only because of her parents. maybe try something like, "i'd love for you to be in my wedding, but if the stress of your parents will be to much for you to handle, then i'll understand". leave it to her and don't get offended if she decides otherwise.

    good luck!:()

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask her and let her make up her own mind. She's 19, so she doesn't need her parents permission. Once you've asked her, just give her time to make her decision. If she can't afford it on her own, help her pay for the flight.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If it's this important to you why not just smooth things over with her parents if you're back in their good graces then they are more then likely to let her be in it. It would be unfair to ask her to go against her parents wishes, that would make then dislike you that much more.

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  • 4 years ago

    i assume it deneps on what the argument or conflict of words replaced into approximately at the beginning...yet no longer understanding that I nevertheless dont believe them no longer comming on your wedding ceremony. ought to the argument of been that terrible to very very nearly "disown" your son/daughter? in case you sense you werent incorrect in the situation you shouldnt sense obligated to say sorry or sense any adverse emotions for them no longer being there. the only person you will desire to hardship approximately...is the guy you're marrying. refer to HIM/HER...your companion concerns the main in this occasion. His view factor would be maximum intense and you will discover your answer by him.

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