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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Why don't I believe him when he says the sweetest things?

My boyfriend says the sweetest things to me and he says he means them. I know he wouldn't lie to me but for some reason I don't believe what he says sometimes. I guess I'm just hoping that this isn't some cruel joke. I don't want this to be a joke, but I don't understand why I'm having trouble believing what he says? Maybe I'm just scared that for the first time someone is actually saying this to me that I don't want it to be a lie. I don't know!!

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  • John B
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Two possibilities:

    First.....you may have a low self esteem. I do and so I know that no matter what someone tells me I always run it through that filter first and when it comes out it seems dis-ingenuen.

    It has nothing to do with their intent but how I cannot believe what they say about me is true.

    Second.....women have a second sense. Far more often than men they can perceive when someone is not telling them the truth. It is a gut feel that you have no control over. You just sense it. This usually happens when you don't know the person well and they say something that just doesn't sound quite right.

    With your boyfriend.....if you have been seeing him for quite some time.....I would guess the problem is the first scenario.

    You actually say that no one else has ever said these things to you so of course it is going to not be easy for you to believe.

    But try something. Because you have nothing to loose from it.....try just believing what he says is true. If he says your pretty just let that feeling come over you that is is so nice that someone thinks this of you and then let it go. The more you try to except what he says the sooner you will begin to believe it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I felt the same way when my current boyfriend and I started going out. He said I was beautiful, smart, etc. He was so nice. i loved it, but i felt as if it was a cruel joke because people had always done this to me. If he says he means it, he does. you are just not used to it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all, if you haven't been dating long and he is giving overly sweet comments they are probably false since he hasn't had a chance to get to know you that well.

    Otherwise, look at how general his comments are. If they focus on things which are mostly specific to you he is being honest. But you can never really tell. All you can do is look at his actions. If he is known to do things which break your trust, he is most likely bullshitting. If he is always there for you, and is reliable he is probably being honest.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i felt the same way too, but eventually you'll see that he really means it. i think its natural to wonder whether or not he really means it at first, because you're not used to hearing those kind of things from him. just be careful when he does it, because you need to make sure he's not just saying those things when he wants something. if he just randomly tells you those things just to make you feel good though, then you have no reason not to believe him!

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  • I know what you mean... But you have to believe him, that's a risk You have to take, maybe you had a lot people in your life who hurt you so much. Butdon't let that destroy your life, let yourdself go, you might have a keeper. Just trust him.

    If you don't let yourself live this experience on it's fullest, you don't know what you would be missing...

    Good Luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all, make sure you already believe the qualities that you have (that you are beautiful, intelligent,ect.)~know and believe it so much when you tell YOURSELF good things, that it makes no difference whether you receive compliments from him or not, or anyone for that matter.

    Secondly, observe his behavior outside his words, in his actions, how he treats you otherwise, and take value from that standpoint whether or not he's for real, in terms of taking the relationship seriously.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You don't believe anything he says sweet to you because you don't trust him. Do you think he is cheating on you? Maybe you do deep down inside or he just doesnt make you feel comfortible. idk

    just start believing him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Are his actions a reflection of his words? Any man/woman can drop lines, but is he truly good to you? That's when you will know!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you don't believe him because he doesn't say it right, he didn't meant it. You will notice when people start saying the sweet thing from their heart, you will trust them right away.

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  • Ivar
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Talk is cheap. Watch his actions.

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