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How long should couples in their mid-twenties wait to have kids after they get married?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I use this as a rule of thumb; no one will ever be perfect, so you have to rely on being honorable, of good character and humble enough to accept that you will make mistakes and be willing to learn from them and deal instead of repeating the mistake over and over. I admire your question because it shows that you have another factor needed to embark on such an endeavor-the best intentions for your future children! Plus you think a thing through BEFORE you act, that is a rare thing these days. It sounds as though you are ready except for one thing...FINANCES! My God!!! It takes money to provide properly for a child these days. I'm not saying that you have to be Donald Trump -rich, but if you start having children and find yourself not able to keep them all quiet in the WIC office, then hold off, get a better education first and then proceed with the baby makin'! You don't want to raise your children teaching them that the responsibilities they create should be thoughtlessly passed on to others such as grandparents, other family members or the government. That would indicate that you are definitely not ready to raise children in the proper fashion. If you already understand this then I truly commend you and suggest you get started. They will be blessed and so lucky to have you as a parent. And believe me they will seen by the world as an asset rather than a problem.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    4-5 years. This is really important.

    Why? Because the most important factor in raising children is having a loving mother and father in a strong relationship. Yet, if you've just been married, you really haven't had time to form the strong bonds that come from setting up a life together and accumulating some financial stability. Plus you're establishing yourselves in your careers.

    Only then, when you feel that you have a strong relationship, should you have kids. Because they will be all-consuming during the first 5-6 years of their development, you will not have as much time for one another as you hoped. And that will hurt all but the best of relationships.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I ask the same question, and apparently everyone has an opinion about it. I think it depends on what your goals together are. What is your wife's career plans? Will a baby interfere? Do you both have insurance and stable jobs? I got married at 22, and am now 26. We've always wanted to have a baby, but I feel like I want to make sure I do all the things I won't be able to do after the baby comes along. But, to be honest, it might happen sooner than I think ;). As long as you both are ready, any time is the right time, because you will never be completely prepared.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well- if you're about 24-26- wait about 2 years after you're married. That way you can travel & do stuff as a couple before the children come because after the children come- things change ALOT!! I'm 23 and hoepfully will get married next year. My hubby and i want to wait at least 2 years to have a baby. I'm a single mom and my 3 year old is enough for us for now but even if i dind't have my son i would do the same--WAIT!! Think about it- it's pretty expensive to have children and the responsibility that comes with it is no joke!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Having children is not a decision based on time or age. There is no time or age that is perfect for having a child. I feel it is all about being ready for what will happen. It will change everything in your marriage, and bring a great deal of stress that people don't think about when they get excited about having their little bundles of joy. Things to think about: Do you have family or close friends near by that will babysit for you? Will you be able to leave your baby with them so you and your mate can get a night out now and then as a couple? How will childcare work? Will one of you stay home? If one of you stays home, will the other 100% respect the position of the stay at home parent as a 24 hour job? If they go to daycare, will you be able to deal with someone else being with your child most of their waking hours each day? How will you handle discipline? There are so many things to think about that are so much more important that your age and timing. In my opinion, you have children when both of you have communicated about all the possibilities that can happen once you have the child, and you are both comfortable with all the answers. People of all ages and lengths of marriage make excellent and horrible parents, so it's more about the communication prior to having one. :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    it would depend on a lot of things. having a child is a tremendous responsibility, and once you have one your life will change forever. are you both in a good place financially? you have to have enough room in your budget for diapers and etc. and they aren't cheap. not to mention college funds. are you in a good living situation? a stable environment? good place to raise a child? once all those types of questions are settled, you have to begin thinking about what you want in life. my husband and i waited 5 years before kids, and had time to learn about each other and enjoy being married. we traveled, left to go sometimes at the drop of a hat, which you can't do once you have kids. We have been married almost 15 years now, and i feel that the time we had to settle in to our lives really helped us to be strong and face the tough times as a team. it is very stressful being a parent, and the first few weeks, no, the first year, is a HUGE adjustment. Make sure you are ready before you have a child, it wouldn't be fair to any of you otherwise.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My hubby and I were married April 2005 and we are now 26 years old and 18 weeks pregnant with our first so we waited about a year and a half or so♥ I guess it is whenever the couple feels it's right or they have an accident.♥

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  • 1 decade ago

    There are three answers to this. a) right away, then you can have the run of the house when you are in the 40-50 range, b) wait till you are 33+, this way you can enjoy your younger years together with no youngins c) get a dog or another semi-needy pet, this will let you know if you are ready.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That is really a question only you can answer because it depends on so many things. Have you even talked about children yet? Are you financially ready? If you both work, will you both continue once a baby is born? My husband and I are both 25 and have been married for three years. We have talked about having children, are financially ready and have our own house, but it just doesn't feel right yet. It has to feel right for both of you to make that kind of committment.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My wife and I were married April 23, 1994. She was 27 and I was 28 years old. When our daughter was born on December 24, 1996. My wife was 29 years old and I was 30 years old.

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